If you are on the crossroad of making a decision whether you should stay in the relationship or not, deciding to a break in your relationship might help. But please keep in mind, this decision work for both possibility, whether it could save your relationship or destroy it.
For me, it depends on how you respond to this action. If you both take this opportunity to reflect on yourself, free your mind, find your strength and focus on the positive side to improve your relationship, then it should be okay. Otherwise, you might just forget about your partner and move on.
Because when you take a break from your relationship, you both basically go through some personal difficult tests. In other words, you will see what your life is going to be without your partner and your relationship.
So, it totally depends on what you really want.
If you realize the relationship is not worth saving, then break up is the right answer. But if you’re not sure, I suggest you check my other article, Should I break up with my boyfriend. That article will give you more insights about what are normal signs when a relationship is over, and how to react to it.
The Reasons For Taking A Break In A Relationship.
“Neither with you nor without you” is the motto of many couples who can’t stand or live apart and who adopt the intermittent relationship model, just like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
At the opposite extreme are those who are addicted to falling in love, strong feelings, and disposable commitments.
Although when things start to fail or create problems, the vast majority of us try to channel them before discarding them. Taking a break in the relationship is one of those arrangements that many of us put into practice.
It happens when every day looks like the plot of the movie ‘Who’s afraid of Virginia Wolf?’ (1962). Constant quarrels, hurtful phrases, and the unwillingness to communicate and understand remove the colors of life. In this post, we’ll explore the reasons for taking a break in our relationships.
Taking time-off in the relationship would be equivalent to hospitalization. A more thorough treatment or even an operation may be performed if required. So that there will be always the possibility that you’ll recover.
When Should You Take A Break?
When an argument continues over and over again, then it might be a good idea to take a break. Because, when you repeat the unfavorable situation, it can cause unbearable tension that can harm your emotional health.
Meanwhile, going straight to an official break up after a big argument also not a very good way to end things. A decision that you make when you are emotionally unstable usually not something that you really wish. So, taking a break from each other will give you space and time to rebalance your perspective toward your relationship.
Take this opportunity to walk away and figure out what you really want in your life. Spend some time to think about your partner’s strength and your good day together. This might help you figure out how important is your partner to you.
Apart from that, this short break will help you clear your mind and give you a strength that you need if you decide to break up with your partner.
How Does It Work For Men And Women?
Interestingly, men have always been much more reluctant to this type of remedy than women. “It’s quite usual,” says Iván Rotella. (Sexologist, couple therapist, director of Astursex, sexology center in Aviles, and member of the State Association of Professionals of Sexology).
What happens, men tend to think that this pause is nothing but a prelude to the breakup and they don’t see much utility in it. Women, however, are accustomed since childhood to talk about their feelings and affections. So, if this situation occurs, they will mobilize their social support network.
They will begin to turn the problem around and try to find solutions.
Men, especially if they are middle-aged may talk to their friends, but they will never open up completely or be vulnerable. It usually prevents them from getting to the bottom of the matter.
Anyway, if the situation is serious, the help of a professional is recommended because it is easy to have a partial and personal view of the problem.
And every time, it’s not easy to see the perspective of the other. Of course, in that case, couple therapy is required. As the name implies, it refers to two people receiving consultation from an expert.
The List Of Recommended Action
One of the secrets of the harmonious coexistence as a couple is never to forget that we are independent beings. In order to get along with the other, you must be generous with yourself.
Award yourself with some quality solitary time and do not plan everything together.
Do things alone or with other groups. Going on a vacation week with friends, looking for different activities that are not shared with the partner may help a lot.
That will prevent the overdose and the impasse of the other leading us to the urgent need for maintaining a remarkable distance.
However, if you’ve already saturated and agree to separate for a while, there are some points that should be considered.
1# Change The Frequency Of Communication.
It is of no use if you physically walk away but spend the day talking on the phone. You need to modify the pattern of communication and become more sporadic. For example, talk two or three times a week.
Remember, the actual reason for you to take a break is to find a space for each other. So there’s no point in taking a break if you both are not actually separate from each other. It could be better if you can cut off all types of communication with your partner for a while.
2# Set Some Rule With Your Partner
Make this process as clear as possible. When you discuss with your partner about getting a short break, you both need to set some ground rules. As an example, can you stay in touch with each other (refer to point above), can you go date with someone else, what you can and can’t do while being single, and more.
These rules will be mandatory is you both is living together. Because, if you do not pay attention to this little thing, all your effort will mean nothing. Basically, you are taking a break but not truly ‘taking a break’.
A relationship and dating coach, Chris Armstrong once said, “You need to remove the co-dependencies you have on each other to the greatest extent you can for the duration that you’re on your break”.
3# Detect The Real Problem.
Do we get bored mortally with our better half? Do we crave sexual intercourse but a strange cosmic force prevents us from having it? Does our partner seem to speak in Aramaic suddenly but before we had almost telepathic communication?
The formula of taking time is intended to reflect and detect the true pitfalls of the relationship. Ask yourself, why you need to take a break in the first place? What are the real reasons, is it because of your partner or from your own self?
Take this opportunity to understand your needs better. Maybe you just need a space to clear up your mind, not a breakup. That why it important for you to understand the problem in order to get your life back on track.
Taking a break in a relationship doesn’t mean that your relationship is over. It is actually a process to help you and your partner to have some space to reflect your thought and emotion.
The downside of this process is, it might not be an answer to every relationship. Taking a break in a relationship is a risky step, it can ruin your relationship and lead to a breakup. However, if you manage to make use of this process, it can be a powerful tool to make your relationship stronger, healthier and happier.
About The Article.
This article was written by a friend of mine Harry.