Create a Happier Relationship

4 Easy Steps Process to Create a Happier Relationship

Do you want to create a happier relationship? Do you want to have a lasting and passionate relationship?

If you answer yes to these questions, then you are in for a big threat, because in this post, I will reveal to you easy steps to create a happier relationship, just like you’ve ever wanted.

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Research shows that over 50% of marriages / relationships are results to divorce monthly, simply because many couples overlooked the importance nurturing their marriage on daily bases.

However, if you wish to improve your marriage/relationships, if you desire to have more love in your life, then get yourself a cup of tea or coffee to relax your nerves as I reveal these 4 easy Steps that will.help you create a happier relationship.

If you are ready, then let’s get started.

 

How To Create A Happier Relationship.

 

Step One

1) Quit The Wrong Relationship Earlier::- 

Although this may sound terrible to hear, but truth still remains that there are some relationship that can’t be fixed no matter how hard you try, and since you want to create a happier relationship, your first step should be to extricate yourself from such.

Sometimes we see ourselves in a relationship where we seem more miserable instead of being happy, the type of relationship where you know in your heart from the onset that it’s not going to work out, yet you continue to stick around hoping that one day there’ll be a change.

 

Here’s my sincere advice

The more you waste time waiting for the wrong person to change, the less time you’ll have left to find the right person – simply put, leave the wrong relationship once you realise you are not compatible.

And you must have in mind that  no relationship or rather nobody is indispensable.

You will still be opportune to get into a better relationship when you give up the unproductive one.

One of the greatest problems we have is the inability to grasp when the person we trust so much stops adding values to us, but here are few signs to know when to really quit.

– When You Lose All Your Trust:

Trust is one of the ingredients of a successful relationship and so when is compromised, everything cease to be the same again.

You can take years to establish trust, but second to destroy it, therefore it is imperative you build your life around those you find trustworthy, genuine, reliable and those that are concerned about your happiness.

When you feel you can’t rely on your partner again from the beginning of your relationship, then quit.

– You Feel Sad When You See Them:– If you feel unsettled when they come around you and they no longer bring joy to you like before, then it maybe a red flag.

– Addiction:- Whether its drugs, gambling, alcoholic, addiction remains bad especially if it’s affecting your healthy. Be quick to understand when it’s not conducive for you anymore and run.

– When You Grow Apart From Each Other:- This is a normal occurrence in every relationship, however, when it happen in the beginning of the relationship, that maybe a clear sign to run.

I really know that it is not that easy to quit a relationship, but you will.feel.sorry for yourself letter if you fail to little listen to those early sign.

So here’s how to overcome it earlier.
Just reassure yourself that everything happens for a reason, period.

 

Step Two)

Discover Your Hidden Love Languages:-

It’s never possible for you and your partner to have the same love language. That’s always the main issue in any relationship.

There are 5 love languages and you. must know which explains your in other to strike balance in your relationship.

What exactly is love language and how does it effect your relationship?
Love Languages can be described as different ways couples express their love for Each other, as well as how they can nurture and heal their relationship.

Like I said earlier, there are five different love languages according to the marriage experts and I will take time to explain them one after the other.

Gary Chapman in his book called the five love languages, explained that people usually experience the love language in different ways, and that it can ultimately cause confusion an conflicts among them.

Let’s take a look at the five love, so we can understand how it helps us create a happier relationship.

– Words of affirmation: From Chapman’s explanations, those in this type of love language want to always hear those romantic words like “I love you“, you are the best thing that happens to me, etc from their partner.

They will also feel loved when you.

send romantic notes or voice messages explaining the reasons you cherished them.

Dr Tina B.Reasons, also said that saying things like “I appreciate what you did”, or thank you also make.them feel loved.

They simply want  to hear it from your mouth and they’ll be happy you.said it.

– Quality Time:- To the people in this love language, nothing says it to them better like living all to give undivided attention to them.

f you can.sacrifice your time to be with them with the TV set, your phone off at those moments, you’ve made them feel extremely special and loved.

To them, any form of distractions, inability to listen can hurt them seriously. However, whether it’s engaging in an activities together, or showing undivided attention to them, you are creating a deep bond between the two of you.

Create a Happier Relationship

 

– Physical Touch
Couples who speak the love language of physical touch prefers any form of physical touch, like holding hands, pat on the back, hugs to any other types of love expressions.

According to B. Tessina, physical touch remains the most direct way to express love. “ Especially when it’s done in a loving atmosphere and not oppressive”. “physical touch is preferably the most effective love languages, because It reassures, and also heals, says” Tessina.

– Acts Of Service:- So many people ask if helping out in the domestic work can also be classified as love language.

The answer is Yes!

Reason is that whatever you do to lift burden off your spouse counts as an expression of love.

Things like preparing a meal, trashing the bin, washing the dishes,changing the baby’s diaper, keeping the car clean are all the examples of acts of service.

most time they even feel loved just to hear words like “I will help you do that”.
When you create more works for them or leave him or her so all the works alone, make them feel as if their feelings are neglected.

– Receiving Gifts:- You can talk of love without mentioning “giving” as one of the bases of love.
When you look at the other four languages of love I have mentioned earlier, you’ll definitely see that all of them are pointing towards giving to your partner.

However, to some, receiving gifts means excess love to them.
When you give gifts to your partner, they feel very happy just to know you think about them, because you can’t give to someone without thinking about him/her.

The thought alone speaks volume to them talk less of the gift itself.
“Gifts are simply a heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you”.
Finally, understand that everyone has a different of expressing love and so it’s imperative to be aware of the love language your partner speak, for that only will help you build a happier relationship.

 

Step Three)

Get More Committed:-

Before showing you some ways you can get committed to making your relationship succeed, let quickly see what commitments really is

What is commitment? Commitment according to Cambridge dictionary is “willingness to give your time and energy to something that you believe in or promise, or form decision to do something”.

If you relate that definition to marriage, then it will mean; willingness to give time and energy to your relationship, because you believe so much in it and want it to succeed.
Fact is that if you want to have success in your marriage, a significant level of commitment is needed.

It simply means a dedication to do whatever is required to make a relationship work and that also means that you have to sacrifice so many of your desires to have your way in many things including arguments and still be happy that it goes like that.

What a sweet world it would be if both couples and not just one will pledge complete commitment to their relationship without looking back; divorce and separation will be greatly minimized.

According to Bradbury and co, ” Any marriage in which both people are willing to make sacrifices for the same of their marriage are more likely have a happy and lasting relationship”.

Also according to sturdy conducted in 2013, also proves that ” one third of people will feel more optimistic about life if their partner shows more commitment
Here are few ways you can be committed

 

a) Be Open To Love:– According to George Sand, a French Novelist, the only happiness in life is to love and be loved in return. Send also says that “it’s really a blessing to to be open to love.

Question is, who.doesn’t want love?

I know you’ll answer ” nobody”, but believe me when I told you that not everyone is open to love.

Here’s why I said so;

you’ll agree with me that there are lots of people whose both non verbal messages and actions will show you their lack of interest to give or receive love and yet they claim to want love. But obviously, being open to love is simply all about what you have inside,

The fact that it’s difficult to expect love from other people when you can’t firstly love yourself.

If what I said above describes you, and you really want to put more efforts to change it, then below are things you can do to always be open to love

Here are few check lists
– Love yourself first: you can’t give or receive love if you don’t first love yourself.
– Do Things You Love So Much:- Engage in anything that gives you utmost joy.
– Give Love To Someone Else.
– Stop Judging Others.
– Let Go All Your Grudges.

b) Put Both Legs In:- There are so may things that causes stress in every relationship and no marriage is completely free from stress no matter how happy it is.

There are ways to behave when those stress comes, for example, it will be a disaster to start nursing negative thoughts instead of standing your ground to make things work again.

You maybe destroying your relationship more if you are in a relationship and you are either “fantasizing about other people outside”, having wrong or ( judging thoughts about your partner) or even keeping plans to “escape” in mind.

Those thoughts will hinder you from thinking what to do to get relationship stronger.

The best thing to do is to keep both feet in and get committed.
Don’t keep waiting or your spouse to give you reasons to put your legs in, because It may not happen that way, but when you pledge your commitment, your partner will definitely follow suit.

Step Four) Spice Things Up:-
There’s need to nurture your relationship daily, if you want it to succeed.
The same way a farmer tends to his farm to get the best harvest, every couple is expected to spice their relationship up daily else weeds will grow on it.

You may not need to work so hard to spice up your relationship when it is still new.

Research proves that from one and half to two years (1 1/2 or 2 years, couple still feel happy and loved, but after that, things starts fading away.

It doesn’t mean there’s no more love between the couples, but the relationship has entered a “new phase of relationship”.

At this stage, if you don’t do anything fast, it will keep deteriorating until things becomes irreversible.

The only way out is to keep the fire burning, by taking some actions.
I Have written extensively about how husband and wife can spice up their marriage, so I may not need to go in details here how to do it here.

You can read the Definitive Guide on How To.Spice Up Your Marriage As Couples: here.

Rounding Up:- You must do whatever is necessary to make your marriage successful.If you fail to take actions,your relationship will either die or remain unhappy forever.

But if you want to create more happier relationship,then follow the four easy step process I outlined in this post.
You’ll definitely get results.

How to spice up your marriage: The Definitive Guide

 

Do you want to know how to spice up your marriage?

Then get ready to learn the exact step to make your marriage successful.

We all knows that the longer a relationship goes, the more everything becomes a routine, and the relationship starts getting cold and everyone starts craving for those early days “butterflies-in-the-tummy”.

Am talking about those exciting feelings we used to have at the early days of our relationship.

Understand that It’s not the end of the world when you start seeing such in your relationship.

it is a common thing to see couples taking each other for granted.
They give more attention to their works and other things,and not their marriage.

But, the good news is that you can work together as husband and wife and in this article, I will show you how to spice up your marriage and I will s

It is the responsibility of the husband and wife to make their marriage successful.
All hands must be on deck and, that means it’s not a one man show thing.

There’s no dispute to the fact that one person can turn around the statues of a marriage, but I also know that it will be easier when husband and wife work together to make it happen.

This post is just to show you how you can spice up your marriage as husband and wife.

How to spice up your marriage as husband and wife.

 

Be romantic, create good atmosphere in your marriage

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Step In 1) Create intimate moments the cannot easily be forgotten:-

To better understand what it means to create intimate moments in your relationship, you’ve got to firstly understand what intimacy means.

What is intimacy? Intimacy can be described as the act of being very close to someone as well as feeling strongly and emotionally connected to him or her.

Tina Tessina, a psychotherapist and the author of money, sex and kids described it as the “act of making your partner feel understood and accepted”.

What she’s letting us know is that in a marriage where intimacy exits, there’s a significant amount of closeness, ecstasy, feeling alive and happiness between the couples.

Intimacy is important to every marriage, and so any marriage that lacks physical or emotional intimacy will most unlikely not succeed.

However, knowing and understanding your partner is the backbone of your relationship, and to know him/her better, you have to create moments of intimacy that can’t easily be forgotten in your relationship.

Here’s how.
Encouraging Each Other Always:-Learn to support and encourage your spouse in everything.
To put simply, be his or her cheerleader. Be attentive and sincerely take an interest in all the things he/she likes to do.
Show respect for your husband, and maximize every chance you get to always compliment him, both in private as well as in private places.

And to your wife, build her up in presence of others and also make her feel overwhelmingly important by giving her honest credit for the success of your family.

Let your better half truly know that you appreciate him or her with all your heart. The more our partners feel valued by us, the more they want to do more to make our relationship succeed.

– Laugh Together:- Laughter is an easy access to intimacy. It can as well be described as outright “vacation in a marriage” and the easiest way to keep things alive when there’s chaos in your relationship.

Crying and laughing gives you and opportunities to learn and trust each other especially when you are sharing feelings to each other.

When you learn how to laugh over everything, then you will also survive everything. Do not be too serious about everything. Whenever, there’s reason to be angry, learn to stop yourself, and instead deploy your love language called laughing, it will take care of everything.

– Learn to be More emotionally vulnerable When Having sex
Express your innermost fantasies, desires, and wishes with each other, and consider engaging in individual therapy when you feel intimacy is lacking in your relationship.

– Hold each others hands more often:- Dr. Kory Floyd, says that “holding hands , hugging, and touching can release oxytocin causing a calming sensation”.

Recent studies also tells us that holding hands also quickens the release sexual orgasm during sex.
Interestingly, physical affection also helps to minimize stress hormones, therefore lowering the effects of cortisol which is stress hormone released daily by our body system.

– Share Your Feelings:- The number one barrier to the growth of any relationship is the inability to have discussions.
It’s imperative for husband and wife to share their feelings to each other instead of bearing it in their minds.

Always know that no one is perfect, and your spouse doesn’t know everything; and so you have to share with your partner about how you feel as well as what you struggle with in life Life.

Going to bed with unresolved issues is not healthy to any relationship and can obviously make a heart to grow colder.

Create time each week for just you and your partner to go on a date and talk about how to make things work better in your relationship.
Investing time in your relationship makes things easier for you and your partner.

Step 2) Keep Track Of The Rights And Not The Wrongs:

There are couple who only sees the wrong things their partner does. It doesn’t matter how many things the partner does right, one wrong by the same partner nullifies it.

If what I said above describes you, then you have to change your perspective and try focusing on the right things about your partner only no matter how small or big and also try appreciating him/ her always.

In the Bible, Paul, in the letter he wrote to Corinthians (Corinthians 13:5), he advised us against keep record of wrongs.
It can hurt relationship like nothing else will, so you need to reevaluate your focus now.

Here are few suggestions on how to focus more on the positive sides of your partner.
– Stop Bearing Grudges: Fact is that no one is above mistakes, even you and so if you expect to be forgiven when you make mistakes, then you should also learn to forgive too.

It is not the best to say you have forgiven, and still your list of wrongs keeps getting longer.
Here’s what you should start doing now to help you stop it; get a blank paper and write down both the wrongs and the rights of your partner and then try concentrating more on the good attributes instead of the wrongs.

– Appreciations often: If you take a close look at your partner, you will see so many reasons to appreciate him/ her. Try and list them down one after the other, and then go through it first thing every day; such practices will help you learn how to see the best and not the opposite about your partner.

– Strive to always Always be positive in your own mind: According to Gottman, “it takes about 5 positive thoughts to overturn the effect of one negative thoughts.
If that’s the case, then why not change your thinking pattern to give positive impacts to your relationship.

Step 3) Date, date and date again:

To most couples, dating stopped immediately after wedding. But it’s not supposed to be so.

To spice up your marriage as husband and wife, continuous dating is imminent
Here is the deal; whether you have been married 10 days, weeks, months or years, romantic date is something regularly observe.

If you are reading this post now, I hope you are not planning to ignore this advice like many other couples do.

Frankly, a lot has been said about couple having regular dates, but believe me when I told you that recent survey still recorded that as low as fourth five percent of couples still don’t go on.dates and only seventeen percent manage to observe it.

To me, that’s a very low number, and I asked myself why? Maybe marriage and dating contradicts each other or people think it cost much to go on.date.

  • But to me date night is overwhelmingly cheaper than filing for divorce or even seeing a marriage therapist and it’s a whole lot of fun too for you and your part. So take it from me that romantic date is important.

Here are few check list of importance of date nights.
1) it create avenue for romance.
2) It create fun moments.
3) You have time to communicate.
4) Opportunities to take a break from stress.
5) Improves commitments.

All these are the reason why you should make dating a priority in you relationship and also understand that you don’t have to break a bank to have a good romantic date.
Let me give you some ideas.

Here are they
1)’Plan a romantic dinner at home:- Romantic dates must not be done outside the house, you can have it at home too.
Plan it in such a way that a beautiful romantic atmosphere will be felt as you and your spouse is enjoying your dinner together.

2) “Make a new recipe together”.

3) Go to a beach together.

4) Go to a library:- Look for books that you have never read before, take a close look at the ones that captured your attention, then then plan on starting your own book club together.

5) Go music concert:- Search for nearby local venues that organizing music concert for the up-and-coming musicians. Their must be a big price slash, but the important thing is that you’ll have a nice time there with your spouse.

Step 4) Always try Surprising one another:-

Another way to spice up your marriage is to always show kindness to you partner, especially when he/she is not expecting it. According to John Guttman, Bradford Wilfox and Jeffrey Deo’s research; the trio found out that kindness as the most important recipe for boosting the marriage.

W Bradford Wilcox said that ” “Generosity” – including small acts of kindness and.displays of respect and affection was positively associated with material satisfaction”.

Surprises is an act of kindness and no matter how big or small you try to surprise your partner, it shows that you care for them.

Surprising your partner can lead to greater intimacy and make him/ her feel contented with your marriage. It can also act as a catalyst that brings an unusual change to the statue of your relationship.

The great affect of surprising your partner is that while you feel good for surprising him/her, your spouse also feels loved and cherished too.
If you’re not sure how to surprise your spouse, then I have listed some steps to guide you.

Here are they
Write romantic notes and drop:- Although this sounds boring, but it will surely add colors to your partners feelings. Just find a good romantic writing materials and drop some romantic notes for them and then drop it anywhere you are sure they will see it. Examples- his wallet, her hand bag, his pocket or wherever you know they’ll see it; and then watch what the reactions will be.

Plan lunch break surprises:– Go to their office at break time, and take them out for lunch.

Do what they like doing even if you don’t like doing it too:- If you know what your spouse’s hobby is, then you can join them to do it, even if it’s not your kind of entertainment.

– Book a nice hotel room for the two of you only.
– Get them a thicker to wherever you know they will love to go.
– Plan a surprise birthday party.
– Get a favorite gift for them.
– Do the chores they usually do
-‘Prepare a delicious breakfast and serve them while still on bad.

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Emotional abuse, abusive partner,signs of emotional abuse,emotional abusive behaviors

Signs Of Emotional Abuse You Should Not Neglect.

                                                                                                                                                                  Emotional abuse, abusive partner,signs of emotional abuse,emotional abusive behaviors If you are not sure what the signs of emotional abuse is, then read this post carefully, as I will reveal them to you here in this post.

Reason is that, when you know what the signs are, you’ll be vigilant to prevent them into relationship.

If you your partner started showing you some serious cares and love lately and you are not sure why?

Then you should be at alert.

Why did I say so?
You see, that could be clear signs of emotional abuse.
Lisa Ferentz describes emotional abuse as subtle, which is unlike physical and sexual abuse that you quickly noticed in a relationship.

This usually comes to the victim subtly as if the partner is on a new level of caring.

The abuser, pretends to be kind and more attentive, until they gradually makes the victim vulnerable by getting their trust and confidence, and then they keep abusing the victim.

All these emotional abusive behaviors are just the little tricks he/she employed to distract you from suspecting the reality of all his/ her of manipulations to you.

Here they are

Signs of Emotional Abuse you should not neglect in your marriage.

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1) You’ll be getting threats from him/her:-

Threat is one of the ways an emotional abusive partner gain more power from the other partner.

They use this manipulative scare tactics to make you accept their views or actions.

He/she may threaten to commit suicide if faced with some breakup issues, he may also threaten to expose you in an embarrassing way, or even threaten to take any of your valuables like – child, money. Jewelry, or home.

Some may even threaten to dump or tell your or families of any of your secrets he/ she knows about.

All these are just to make you defenceless from his or her further actions.
However, when you see all these, then know you married and emotional abusive partner.

2 No Respect For Your Privacy:-

If your partner starts disrespecting your Privacy, then he is emotionally abusive.

An abusive partner may wake up one dey and demand that you hand over your password or codes to him/her.

He may want to read your private messages or listen to your voice mails whether by insisting you handover the password, or by hacking into it. Those are clear signs of emotional abuse.

3) Jealousy:-

To some level, jealousy can be said to be good in a relationship.
Jealousy is only triggered when there is perceived threats in a marriage or relationship.
Diana R. Gerhart, PhD, a family therapist said that jealousy is only bad “if acted on it aggressively”.

She also said that “it can be useful if it’s approached as a force of good”.
When jealously is mild in a relationship, it makes the couples becomes careful not to take the other for granted, it also encourage partners to appreciate the other.

However, when jealousy becomes more than the “occasional fleeting feelings”, it then becomes a red flag that your partner is emotionally abusive..

 


For instance, if he/she become jealous of people you relate with, the times you leave the house, the clothes you put on, the books you read or want to fight anyone that looks or come closer to you then that’s a red flag.

4) Intimidation:-

The abusive partners have so many ways to make you become his/her puppet without saying a word.
They use intimidation;

According to the dictionary, Intimidation is the act of frightening or threatening someone to do what you want them do.

Example: If your partner is the type that constantly interrupts your ideas, or criticize what you have said in the past, then it a sign of an abusive behaviors, he/she is just trying to prove that your opinions are of no values.

5) Blame game:-

Blame game is another serious sign of emotional abuse you should not neglect in.your relationship.

This is simply when your partner wants to point fingers on you for almost everything.
Example probably, He/she tries to wear a pair of shoes and didn’t see one of his stockings, the next thing is blaming you, when she feels hers desires are not met you receive the blames again.

Dr Neil, a writer in fobes say that ” chronic blaming is a form of emotional abuse… And blame reduces intimacy”.

Blaming create a negative environment between you and your partner, when you allow it to linger a little bit more, resentment follows, and it also makes the other person feel as though he/she can never get anything right.

Be watchful to know when these things starts coming up.

6) When your partner always refuse to accept flaws:-

Abusive partner never admits their flaws, and so they always want to make you feel they are perfect. However, they are very far from perfection.

If your partner is such that wants to project perfection images to you, then always take time to look well, you must see those cracks on the wall.

7) Judgemental:-

Emotional abusive partners are always very quick to judge the other even without understanding his/her points.
They are easily provoked and so you’ll not know what will get him/her furious the next second.

All these didn’t just start, they usually started from the different little strokes of intolerance and then grows writhing a short time and become rigid.

8) Quest to be in control:-

The truth is that power and control is the most important thing  the abusive partner wants in the first place. So if you realise that your partner always want to be in control at every point in time, then that’s a red flag.

He manner of control may not be as obvious as he getting you to give him your car keys, he/she may just convince you to quit your job just to take care of the children.
That’s a sign to watch in your relationship before it becomes a threat.

9) Name calling:-

This is another sign of abusive behaviors. It is true that we have the right to joke and tease each other in relationship, but there is a very thin line between making jokes and being rudeness.

If your partner call you names like stupid, ugly, dumb, useless, unlovable, then that’s another red flag that he is an abuser.

Name calling make the other partner look as someone “negative”. But all the abusive partner wants is exert power over you sense of worth.

In conclusion, do not neglect any of the signs of emotional abuse you see in your marriage, because it may be hard to deal with if not handled on time,

One of the  things to do to curb it is to approach a marriage therapist to help you.