Marriage Killers: How to constantly update your marriage Virus Scanner
The number one secret of a successful relationship and marriage is daily nurturing, understanding and doing the needful things that helps it work.
The relationships that have failed or that are on the verge of failing, are the once who neglected to constantly check their relationship daily for the viruses that usually attacks without warning.
Virus are those organisms that attached itself to a host. and if not removed on time, destroys or even kill the host.
We know very well how our computers are attached by virus, the same way our marriages are attached by virus too.
There are so much virus that can destroy any marriage in a twinkle of an eye if not properly checked.
In this post, we will learn how to scan and treat your marriage / relationship for virus especially in this season.
What are the viruses that can destroy any marriage.
1) Hanging out with bad friends :- An affirmation says ” tell me your friends and I will tell you who you are.
Another adage says “Evil manner corrupt good mind.
If you mingle with those friend that knows how to mistreat his/her spouse, then it will not be long before you start behaving the same there’s no two ways about it.
If your friends knows how to come home late drunk, you are close to learning it and behaving the same.
How to scan your marriage for bad friends The best way to do this is to stay away from such friends.
Be with those you are learning good things from. The will not only inspire you, but you will also learn good values from him or her.
2) Spend less time with opposite sex:- I know it well you are just friends, I also know it that you are not lusting after him/her.
You both work at the same office, and there is absolutely no harm in taking him / her to have coffee together. Here’s what I want to let you know: too close relationship with the opposite sex can create sexual feelings for you as time goes on and can eventually create a rift in your marriage and I know you don’t want that.
It usually starts like a play, but as time goes on you find out that you both are sharing very personal things with each other and sometimes you become disappointed when you get to the office and he/ or she is not there and somehow start desiring to be alone together.
I know you will tell me you are not feeling like what I am talking about, but ask yourself if he/she is feeling the same
Now to be on the safe side, keep a good distance from them and create a good professional barest between you and any opposite sex.
3) Lies:– It’s very easy to tell lies, but it’s not that easy to come out from the negative effects of lies.
We see it as a small, but we graduate from that little lie to a bigger lie and when it becomes bigger, we tell another lie to cover it up.
The worse is when you hide about your intimate relationship with someone outside, but that’s a huge sin against marriage.
Only an open and sincere communication can increase trust in relationship and every relationship needs a large chunks of trust to be successful.
communication is the bedrock of every marriage and when it’s tampered with, I affects the marriage.
The best solution is to say the truth always and see how your family will work.
(4) Trust :- Every marriage depends on trust to survive. That simply means it is very impossible to have a close intimacy in your relationship if you or your partner lack trust.
Trust create good bond and security in a relationship as everyone feels relaxed and secured too.
However, when trust is lacking in a relationship, every other part of the relationship suffers.
This is true because everyone want to threat someone the same way they are treated (Tit for Tat).
That’s why we feel hurt when our partner betrays our trust, some times we want to get even.
We think, if you are not sincere with me then why should I be sincere with you.
Did you see how trust effect marriage/relationship.
Lack of trust is one virus that destroys marriage. So do not do anything that can sniff out trust out of your marriage if you don’t want your marriage to fail.
5) Resentment:- This is another tricky virus that eats of a marriage in a little time. It usually starts small like anger and boredom and gradually erodes the marriage.
Claire Hatch , LCSW, says “resentment is a sneaky emotion that takes more forms that you realize. On the surface it may cause you to feel bored, or to find flaws with your partner — picking on them for small things such as being somewhat messy or failing to return your text in a timely fashion”.
Gary Brown a well known family and marriage therapist from Los Angeles said that resentment gradually eats up a relationship to the point that your partner will feel the worse phase of resentment. At that point things have gone out of hand, and will be hard to reverse, you don’t want that to happen to your marriage, do you?
Final Notes:- it’s better to scan your marriage daily for viruses that are capable of destroying it, and eliminate them before they strike.
Remember, it is your sole duty to save your marriage for destruction.
I am still your friend Ikenna Uchegbu (murphyaik).
See you at the top.
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