All marriages are not created equal, while some pass through a tough hurdle and remain strong, most others dies off when there’s a little challenge .
The difference between the two marriages is just the ability to take a little step further in building a stronger relationship with your partner.
In this post, I will show you how to build a tight bond in your marriage and how you can successfully create your soul mate with your current spouse.
So many couples have longed to get to this level in their marriage and never did.
But in this post you will see how to get there.
Who or what is a soul mate?
The Wikipedia describes a soul mate as a person with whom someone has a deep or natural affinity, which may involve similarly, love, connection, intimacy, sexuality, trust as well as compatibility.
I love how the American writer Richard Bach described it.
He said that “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”
He is simply letting us know that having a soul mate as your better half is far more interesting that having a life partner.
Here is why he said this:
A soul mate will come into your life to enrich it greatly, encourage you to be the best you can, and do whatever is needful to take you to the highest stages of life.
That’s the type of spouse you want isn’t it.
Granted you can create a soul mate out of your partner by doing the things I will share in this post.
Here they are : ))
How to successfully create your soul with your current spouse.
It begins with Increasing the emotional intimacy of your relationship:-
Wikipedia describes emotional intimacy ” Emotional intimacy is an aspect of interpersonal relationships that varies in intensity from one relationship to another and varies from one time to another, much like physical intimacy . … Affect, emotion and feeling may refer to different phenomena.
To me, Emotional intimacy means a level of closeness that exists between two people that they feel secured and and completely home with each other.
This level of closeness don’t just happen, it develops gradually till it stands.
And it requires a continuous learning about each other daily and doing whatever is needed to make each other happy.
It’s important in all marriages, in fact no couple can do without it, if they want to stay happy and remain married for a longer time.
Nothing kills a marriage than emotional distance.
So if you feel there’s no closeness again, you need to do something now.
Question is: =))
How do you increase this emotional intimacy in your own relationship.
Here’s How : – ))
– Spend more time together:- One of the ways you can prevent your marriage from failing is to spend more time together.
It is not about the duration of time spent that matters, but the quality of time spent.
In one of my posts 15 minutes a day just to improve your relationship,
I shared how you can achieve a lot by spending just 15 minute with your spouse.
Research show that most marriages fails because couples lacks connection.
It is only through spending time together that husband and wife has time to discuss about the ways forward to their family.
If you have not been spending time together, then it’s time to start is.Refer to my book for more guidance.
– Recognize your time apart also:– In as much as you should spend time together, it’s also important to spend time apart from each other.
You will agree with me that too much time together sometime makes you feel a kind of suffocated that you’ll find yourself craving for just a little moment to find air again.
Times apart gives every partner the time to pursue his/ her personal interests, maintain the individual identify, gives you opportunity to miss each other once more and more space to pursue and achieve your goals.
Although we all have different needs when it comes to the amount of time we desire to spend as couples or apart from each other, but there’s need to learn and respect your different needs and so it is imperative to come together and talk about how to create a balance that will suit the both of you.
Maximize Your Similarities,and Appreciate Your Differences:- Another important way of to energize your relationship is to learn to know that you and your partner comes from different parents, states and sometimes different ethnic group, and so there must be other differences.
Understanding both the difference and similarities is what will add color to the way you live together.
When you were still dating, everything were exciting and new.
At those times, there was no problem when it comes to going another mile to accommodate your spouses mistakes.
Sometimes you overlooked so many things too.
However, after a long time those feelings starts to wear off.
Your eyes are more open now to see those flaws, those things that didn’t bother you initially are now your greatest headache.
But if you want to create a soul mate with your current partner, then I implore you stop now and see what the differences are as well as the similarities.
Take another look at the personalities of your better half and yours to know the differences.
May be he likes more salt and chilies in the soup and you don’t etc.
Understanding this will help you appreciate both the differences and similarities, as that will help you stop fighting over how difference you are.
I suggest you take a personality test to understand what you both are made of.
Keirsey sorter’s tool found on the internet can be of great help to do that.
The personality test will help you know how you love to exist in this world.
After that, then make a decision to get to a point where you can show respect to your individual differences and find out what works for both of you, and also accept the difference in the personality and cease from condemning your better half’s personality.
Learn to give and receive pleasure :-
Quote on pleasure by voltire
“Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures”.
Marriage works better when couples understands the act of giving and receiving pleasure.
Understand that it is not a one way thing.
Many couples believe its only the husbands right to give while the wife received love, but that’s not right.
When you look closely at any marriage that’s successful, you will discover that both couples take turn in giving and receiving pleasure.
Because when you receive pleasure , you are giving your partner the opportunity to give and vice versa, and that brings a balance to sex in marriage.
The misconception here is that people think the are yielding to the “culture of narcissism” when they surrender and embrace pleasure. But that’s a lie.
Sexual pleasure becomes more excited when we stop worrying about who gives and who received.
If you want to be the receiver, be ready to have the whole of it and don’t for any reason feel selfish.
So to increase the sexuality of your marriage, never be afraid to take up the role of the giver and also give it freely don’t withhold anything, while your partner receives with “abandon ”
However, always remember that it is better to give than to receive.
Having this in your consciousness always will make you want to give always. And if both of you becomes givers, then a full sexual pleasure will be reached easily.
I implore you and your partner to talk to yourselves about how to get the best of sexual pleasure.
Feel free to tell him/her your sexual hot spots. Don’t be ashamed to ask or tell about yours, and make sure he/she understands.
Understanding this principles of giving and taking sexual pleasures will help improve your love life, and also take your marriage from friendship to soul mate level.
Finally:– I you really want to make your marriage move from better half level to soul mate, then you have to take your time and work on it by following some points i listed in this post.
Marriage is about daily nurturing, if you fail to do the needful, then you will not get where you want to be.
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