Getting married is what everybody wants to do. But no one desires to have an alcoholic as a husband. What if you are already married to one and you are asking if is possible to have a happy marriage with the alcoholic you love? My answer is yes!and I am going to reveal to you the step by step with no step skipped on how you can contain and enjoy every bit of your marriage.
One thing you must understand this; it is not easy when you are married to an alcoholic as a spouse. It is not also very easy when you could no longer hide the shame you feel when you realizes the pain and frustration he is inflicting on your children and to everyone even to himself. It could be very demoralizing.
However, if you are determine to get yourself committed, and then you can find more joy in your marriage and family.
Some steps to help you achieve your aim.
Learn how to communicate with your alcoholic spouse:-
Communication is very vital in every relationship, but communication with an alcoholic addict is not that very easy. It may not be easy for you when you talk harshly to him/ her.
There are two steps I think you must follow if you want to communicate effectively with this alcoholic.
(1). Keep your words simple:- Here is what I mean, If he is that type who will come home drunk and late too and starts argument on how lousy and not supportive you are, and that hurts you so much. Then the next day he wakes up with hangover, that may not be the best time to talk about anything. Never try to do anything when he or she still feels drunk. The best you could do is to wait until he or she feels sober and ready to listen.
Then you may choose some words like“Honey you came home drunk last night and started yelling at me”. The reaction here maybe silence or in defensive mood, never mind. Try and tell him or her how worried you are and how your marriage is been affected by the actions. Tell him or her how you may leave the marriage if that continues. This may course a change in his or her attitude. One thing I know about alcoholics is that they are “sensitive needy people” who finds it hard to stand heartache and loneliness. So when you said you may leave the marriage, it may make him change. Remember the change will be gradual.
The second step is saying the truth:-
You must not hide your feelings. Tell everything as you see it. But avoid listing the similar incidents. Let all your approaches be simple and apt.
Take Care of Yourself:-
Remember it is not an easy task to have a happy marriage with an alcoholic. You will have so many burdens emotionally, physically and mentally. Take time to seek advice from your friends that has passed through the way before you. Eat good, have enough exercises, have rest when necessary .Never stop doing the things that empowers you more.
Make plans to take him/her to a rehabilitation center:-
Always have in mind that you could do anything to save your spouse from this drinking habit and that you could do anything that will give you an opportunity to be happily married with this alcoholic you love.
This is why you will try taking your spouse to the rehabilitation center. It will not be easy convincing him/her to accept that.
Let your spouse know that how much you and your children are suffering for his actions as you are proposing to him. When you say this, allow him/her to meditate on the idea. Do not be harsh. Though it may be a hard way, but it is still a good option if he accepts to go with you.
Finally you must be praying for your spouse that the word of God will take pr-eminence in his or her life. With the word of God working in him, you will see your spouse coming to the realization that his actions are the best for him and his family. That will bring change and room for you to live a simple, strong and happy marriage with this alcoholic spouse you love so much.
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