5 Important ways to revive your marriage sex life

good sex, satisfying your spouseLack of sex or boring sex has become another big issues in marriage, which if not properly handled can destroy even the most happiest marriage.

After so many years in marriage, couples sex life becomes a routine, sexless or even boring, and one of the chief course of it is when there is a disconnect.

If your marriage sounds like what I’ve just described above, then don’t think you are alone, and don’t think your marriage is failing when there are lots of things you can do today to save it.

In this post, I will show you 8 things to do to revive your frumpy marriage sex life.

As a relationship coach, I have received so many questions from my clients about sex Like
– How many times can we have sex in a month?


– My wife/ husband are not always excited during love making. What should I do?
– My husband’s manhood suddenly becomes weak during sex?
– My husband doesn’t last long during sex. What is the reason?
If you have asked these questions too, then I have good news for you.


Whether your sex life has become very bad or just stating to wear out, there are so many things you can do stating from today to revive your sex life and get it back to normal again.

In the next 15 minutes ,I will reveal all of them to you.


Here are 5 things you can do to revive sex in your marriage.


poor communication skill, marriage killers,divorce1) Tone up communication :- Let me ask you this question : How good is the communication in your marriage?
From experience, I have found out that most couples are having slot of difficulty communicating with each, and It is even worse when the discussion is about sex.


It is either they are avoiding to talk about it, or they feel so ashamed to talk about it.


However, if you’re serious about saving your marriage and toning up sex in your relationship, then you should not be afraid or ashamed to talk about sex.


If you are not sure how to go about, then here are few tips to help.


– Always start on a soft note: start by telling about your plans to connect more closely with him/her and avoid blame.


Tell your spouse about your fears, expectations, your desire and your concerns and try to be honest about it. It is important you share your deepest feelings during the discussion, don’t hide anything.

You may not say everything immediately, just understand that you may have series of discussion, so don’t talk to long so it doesn’t become boring.

– Never be afraid to tell him/ her what you enjoy sexually and what your dislike.
Conversation is necessary for every couple who wish to tune up their marriage.
– Never talk about about sex problems after having sex, you can do that at a neutral time.


happy couples,happiness in marriage2) Create romantic atmosphere for sweet love :- If you want to enjoy sex with your partner, then understand the need to create romantic atmosphere that will usher you into it.

To create the atmosphere, do these things.
– keep everywhere clean:– It’s not easy to feel romantic where you can’t even have a little space to sit down, because of the untidiness of a place.
So tidy everywhere and make it convenient for passion to flow.


– Groom yourself :- Keep yourself fresh and clean, put on a clean outfit and wear good perfume too.

Sex was created to work with the state of mind and the environment.

Make sure you removed anything that can cause distraction during sex.



Wear sexy dresses :- This will help you to create the atmosphere of sexy.

Make sure your night wear is transparent enough to show the curves and the important places, and also make your male partner wear sexy boxers and underwear too.



– Never make sex a routine:- Most couple has made there sex life a routine.

They believed it is only during the bedtime or when the want to have baby is when there is need to have sex.

No! in marriage enjoying sex means more than that.



In other to keep your sex life from being boring, then you should be having sex any time, any how, and any place.
Make your partner look forward to having sex with you and yet he/she can’t predict when or how. Just be unpredictable.



quality time,happy couples3) Creating time just to touch:– Does that sound familiar to you?


Understand that your sex organs are not all you have when it comes to having good sex with your spouse.
You have your hands also.
Schedule some times just to touch yourselves without pressuring it to lead to sex. Caress, tickle and give each other a good “sexual touch”.



Have bath together, hold hand, and squeeze each other without expectations to have sex.



Some times all you need are those touches and suddenly the fire will be kindled and the result is a passionate love making.



  • Ask for those things you want :- I don’t mean you should black mail your spouse before you give sex. Absolutely no.

What am saying is that you should be open enough to let your partner know where and how to touch you passionately.


4) Know what turns you on and off, know what fires you up.


Everyone has different hot spots.
To some, it is when you kiss their nape, when you touch the breast or penis. Some enjoy it when you read erotic stories.



Just find out what your hot spots are and voice it out romantically.


Remember ,your spouse is not a magician to know all these.


It’s really good that you speak up, when he/she is not getting the job done, however, make sure you don’t say it as a blame, it can kill the mood.



5) Exercise:-Physical activities is paramount and can help you improve your sex life. This is because whether your body will respond actively to sex depends on how good blood flows through your heart, and exercise will help you achieve that.


Engaging yourself more with aerobatic exercise will help to strengthen your blood vessels and heart.


Obviously, having a good sex depends on how good your overall well-known being is, therefore have exercises often and see how active you will be during sex.



Finally:- If you want to get things work very well in your marriage, you should put more care into developing your sex life.

The areas I have pin pointed in this post are the good part to take when all you need is to revive your sex life again.

As for how many times couples should have sex, that depends on your agreement as couples.

How to Make Your Wife Fall Head-over heel in love with you this Season

Make your wife love you, happy wife, happy marriageIt’s possible to be under the same roof, sleep in the same bed and yet the loves you share with your wife have depreciated a great deal.

But, to make any marriage work properly, you must try everything you should to make your wife fall in love with you again.

I believe you have heard the quote “Happy wife happy home”. That simply means that your marriage happiness depends on how happy your wife is.

The reason is that when a woman is happy, she’ll want to do more for her husband and family.

Use this text messages to make her want you

Check out this quote from Deborah Carr ” I think it comes down to the fact that where a wife is satisfied with her marriage, she tends to do a lot more for her husband which has a positive effect on his life”

What professor Deborah Carr was trying to let us know is that women provide enough emotional and practical supports to their partner unlike men.

This is the reason you should try all there is to her love you better.

The fact is that you are so lust in the sea as to what you should do to make her fall in love with you especially this season

But, I am here to help you, and here are few things you should start doing from this moment on

make your wife love you,happy wife happy marriage,happy family

1 Get surprise Gifts for her: – One day,  I overheard my wives friend telling her about an ice cream she enjoyed so much, and from my wives eyes, I saw the desire to have a taste of that ice cream someday.

The next day, as I was coming back from work, I bought the same ice-cream for her and I got the warmest embrace ever in my life.

I was very happy about her excitement.  Those little gestures makes them fall in love again and again.

You can try the same thing, buy her gifts, take her out without planning it.

Watch this Video from a friend of mime Erik

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2QGeSeG2aA[/embedyt]


2 Admire and respect her: – Every woman needs respect and admiration just like the men do. Admiration goes hand in hand with appreciation, esteem and respect, and all of these describes how you cherished your wife those times you were still trying to get her attention.

Those times you were dating her, you were trying all you could to get her attention; but where has all those feelings gone?  What happened? you have given up on dropping love notes, kissing her good-bye when she is leaving for work

If your wife doesn’t feel appreciated or loved, you may be heading to a broken marriage. This article is just to let you understand that it is important to go back to square one and bring those feelings back again.

happy wife, happy marriage

                                                    Here are few steps to guide you.


a Get her breakfast on bed

b Cuddle and kiss her often.

c Tell her you feel great to be her husband

d Speak good about her to others

e have date nights


3 Be her best friend: – Many people argue that it is better to have someone outside than your spouse.

But to me they didn’t know that your best friend is who you can spend time and share secret with.

From records, having your partner as your best friend has proven to work perfectly. Here what this quote says. ” Being in love is an amazing thing. Being in love with your! best friend is everything “. To be your wives best friend means to be free minded with her, share things in common with her and to support her.

Make her feel relaxed and secured any time she is with you. In that way she will fall in love with you again.

4 Trust her completely: – Trust is important in every relationship. It is the best gift of  every loving marriage.

Trust creates deeper love, security and safety in every relationship. One major reason for breakups is lack of trust.

But, your wife feels secured and loved when she understands that you trust her completely and you also give her the chance to understand and love you better.

5 Recognize all she is doing for the family: your wife will love you more when you recognize and appreciate those little things she is doing in the family. It feels somehow when no one shows appreciation when you deserve it.

So from today on, if you haven’t been giving attention, then start it.

Those house cleaning, dish washing, cooking, etc, see them and say thanks, that will make her do more..

be transparent, love your wife

5 Be honest and transparent: – In every successful marriage /relationship, these two things must be present.

Honesty is all about saying the truth, while transparency is being open with all your facts .Your wife prefers if you tell her the truth about you and be open with her during conversation. That will make her respect you more.

6 Pray with her and for her: –  During your devotion, hold her hands, call her names and tell God everything you want Him to do for her. This will make her understand how you care about her and give her reasons to love you more.

7 Support her:- There are times when your wife needs encouragement from you, may be she is passing through a difficult task,  your support can make things take a different shape to her.

When you are supportive to her, your attitude and actions will show that you believe in her.

8 Provide for her: -In 1 Timothy 5 verse 8 ,God gave us the responsibility of providing for our wives and family. She has so many needs and will want you to meet them, it is your duty as a man look for those needs and meet them.  You can go on and ask her. But have in mind that she will love you more when she realize how faithful and committed you are to meet her most important need

9 Love her dearly: –  If you want your wife to love you the way you want, then you must love her first.

Every woman understand clearly when their husband love her. So show her love and she will definitely reciprocate.

10.Always be positive: – There are times when everything will look absurd. May be the finance is not enough to sustain the family. All you can do to make your wife fall in love is to stand your ground that things will be OK and that you are coming out of it strong.

Never bend your neck in despair, but increase the springs in your steps and let her know that you know everything will be OK.

happy wife, happy marriage

Finally:- Love , peace and joy are the main ingredients for a successful relationship. Don’t let it go out of your marriage, don’t say ” My wife should love me better than I love her ” Remember what you give is what you get in return.


Seek to love your wife as commanded to you by God in His word and your wife will love you in return.


I am still your friend Murphyaik.

See you at the top.









how to make your marriage happy, spend time with your spouseOne day, I overheard a woman asking her husband for just 15 to 20 minutes to share something important; and that opened my eyes.

And I thought, if 15- 20 minutes is enough for the woman to be happy and to share her mind, that means couples can also use 15-20  minutes to breathe new life into their marriage.

Trust me; I know that you are very busy person. The activities of the days like taking the children to school, house chores, job, getting the groceries have swept all the time, and not even a second is left for you and your partner to share.

But, let me let you in the big secret why marriages fail, so you can strive to create an edge for your marriage, right from this moment.

                                Couples time is imperative

Research conducted by the Creighton Center for Marriage and Family says

“Time is one out of the problematic issues from married couples especially in their first five years of marriage”.

There are one thousand four hundred and forty minutes (1440) in a day; if you sleep from six to eight (6-8) hours in a day, then you have good 1000 minutes which you are awake.

How much minutes can you reserve out of those times you are awake just for you and your spouse to spend together?

You see,  having time to spend with your partner can only be liken to saving something precious for the raining day, and just 15 minutes daily will set the ball rolling.

Not spending enough time makes you and your partner to grow distant emotionally and distance brings the unavoidable death of intimacy and passion. So the beginning of happiness in marriage lies in those little times spent together.

                                   couples time, romantic dates, communicate                                          So create the time

Like I said initially, there are multitudes of distractions every day that will swallow your time, but, you must create the 15 minutes if you want your marriage to succeed; that is just one percent (1%) of the day. Could it be hard for you to share with the love of your life?

If you said “No”, then

                              Let’s create that time together

Reduce your time on television: This may sound simple, but when you think of how many hours you watch television, it will dawn on you that your marriage will be very much better if you could spend just little of that time with your spouse.

By reducing your time on TV, you will have more time to nurture the three main important things in marriage which are sex, sleep and conversation.

Forget checking your mails:-Technology is good, but if the use is not properly checked it can take up all the time we have.

You may want to check your mail for just 10 minutes, and find out that you have spent close to 1 hour reading the mail. Think of what that time can do to your marriage.

Do your chores on time: If you have some house chores to do, it’ll be better if you do it on time so you will have free time to be with your partner.

Cuddle the kids to sleep:-As long as the kids are awake, your attention will be divided; but when they are sleeping you and your partner will have time. So cuddle them to sleep on time.

Forget checking your friend newest update on social media:-There is nothing as sweet as visiting the social media like Facebook, twitter and others to look at your friend’s latest updates.

But the joy is at the expense of your couple’s time. So which will you choose, building your marriage or checking your friend update?

Understand that it is all about you, your partner and your marriage: Couples time is the time to nurture your marriage. So never play with it.


          The 15 minutes with your spouse spent well.


One thing to note is that marriage is not just about finding happiness, but all about finding ways you and your partner can develop into a better human being.

The happiness comes later and they are usually found in the amount of time you spend together.

Sharing 15 minutes daily with the one you love is one of the smartest moves you can take in other to sustain your relationship.

Scientific research describes it as a “positive moments that matters in keeping a relationship satisfied”.

But, the truth is that if you don’t guard the time well, you will soon realize that it is a wasted effort.

To help you make the time what while, here is what you should do.

  • Concentrate on the friendship aspect of your marriage: Devote more time on developing the friendship aspect your relationship. Talk about the things that are not working well and find a way to work it out.


When you are conversing, make sure you are looking straight at each others eyes. That will show how interested in what your spouse saying.

Play games and have fun. Just keep talking without agenda and try to give your wife more time to talk, and keep listening.

15 minutes a day,make your marriage stro

  •                         Re-affirm your intentions.

Before you both got married, you had plans. You didn’t marry because you wanted to marry. You have dreams to have a happy marriage, good relationship with your spouse, have and raise good children and maybe to build your relationship in such a way that people will learn from you.

Understanding your intentions in marriage is what helped Kelvin A. Thomson and wife save their marriage and it will help you too.

Think about it and plan how to make your dreams come true. You can write a plan on how to go like I did below.

  • What are the things you need to do to achieve your aims
  • Are there some characters you need to eject or introduce into your marriage?
  • What are the roadblocks you may encounter along the way?
  • Are there skills you have to learn?

Writing theses down will help you know which steps to take to get to your destination.

  • Try dating yourselves again.

Consider having some romantic dates. You can schedule to go outside for the date or have it there in the house. You don’t need to let the date break your pocket.

Prepare some interesting lunch or dinner dishes, with some bottles of drinks.

But, if you choose to go out, then look for a beautiful and interesting place where you can relax with the love of your life.

Remember, it is all about bringing you and your partner closer to each other ones again as well as helping you appreciate each other.

Rounding up:

You are responsible for whatever happens to your marriage. If you want it to succeed, then you should start putting more effort to making it work.

Spending time together will help make your relationship succeed, so get to work at once and see what will happen in a little while.

Over to you now: What other ways have you used to make your relationship better than it was before? Feel free to share with us in the comment section.

Bonus articles

How to Have a better communication with your spouse.

How to enjoy more marital satisfaction

9 Things you should never say to your husband



9 Things you should never say to your husband

 communication in marriage, words not to say to your husband, wife respectIf you are not very careful of the things you say to your husband, then you may be killing your marriage without knowing it.

Words are very powerful, it can build, and it can also tear people apart in a twinkle of an eye.

That’s why you must think before you let any word come out of your mouth.

It may be very easy to forget your actions, but words go straight to the heart and remain there forever.

Many marriages/relationships are the way they are now just because of one word that came out of the mouth of one couple or both couples.

happy marriage, good communication, good wife, respect husband


In this article, I am going to show you what unguarded words can do to any relationship and I will also show you 9 things you must never say to your husband.

There is no doubt you are very aware of the power of spoken words. You know what any good or bad word can do whenever it goes out.

Some words are better to keep to heart, than saying it out. So why should you put your marriage in jeopardy or make your husband feel inferior because of the things you say to him.

“Sticks and stones can hurt very much”, but while the wounds and bruises caused by them heals in a matter of time, the damage from those unguarded word may last forever.

People will always remind you of what you said to them a long time ago.

Here is what the Bible said about the tongue in Proverbs 15: 14, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness therein is a breach to the spirit.”

James 3v6 9 (Amplified version)

“And the tongue is a fire (the tongue is a fire) world of weakness set among our members, contaminating and depriving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth ( the cycle of man’s nature) being itself ignited by hell”.

I have seen marriages shattered because of careless words and I don’t want it to happen to you my friend.

We’ll be looking at some of the careless words you must avoid saying when you are talking with your husband, no matter how hard you are pressed to say that.

And here they are:   ).

9 Things you should never say to your husband

I am sharing these with you not to make you feel mad or bring back memories of what your partner said to you in the past, but to remind you of the affirmation that you must think before you say anything. So listen up

  1. Don’t compare him:- Comparison is one issue that has brought so many conflicts in many relationship.


When you compare him with someone else, it simply shows that you admire the other man more than him.


The best thing you can do to change his dressing style is to select good one’s for him when he is getting ready to go out, if he doesn’t have good one’s you can get some for him after all in marriage everyone is expected to take care of each other.


What if you don’t have money to buy, then ask him for money and get for him?


One day I overheard a woman complaining about the husband and she never stopped comparing him with her friend’s husband.


From the expressions her face, it was clearly written how she places the other man in her mind more than her husband. She saw him as a better husband man, father and husband.


But let me tell you now; there are absolutely no way you could understand how good a husband is when you are not his wife.


Merely looking through the other person’s window will not show you how the house itself is.


When you go on comparing your husband, you are only degrading yourself as a woman and exalting the other woman.


So quit comparing and start holding him higher.



2)People warned me you will do this: – You obviously not the type of man I thought you are and people warned me that you will do this.

Wow! You don’t know what harm you are causing to your marriage if you say something like that to your husband.

You are simply showing him that there is another person in your camp. It is also means you are on the other side and not with him.

(3) You are still your mama’s boy:- Dating and getting married to a “mama’s” boy is surely not an easy task.

However, if you love him and want to settle down with a mama’s boy, then you should try and accept the fact and never try changing him.

The best you can do to make sure things are going well is to love and appreciate him; time will come when he will grow up, but till such a time, keep waiting and praying.

(4) Your sense of fashion is nil:-It may be true your husband doesn’t know how to dress well, but the last thing you can do is to tell him about it in an awkward way .

You can subtly start getting rid of the worn out cloths and replacing them with new ones if possible.

Of course telling him about his terrible fashion style will not make him divorce you, but you can slowly kill his self-esteem.

(5) You will never succeed:-This is funny, but I have heard women telling their husband that they will never be successful in life.

Your man may be the type that cannot make a strong decision without seeking your advice, but never be tempted to tell him things like “you are not a man, why can’t you be brave and confident for ones”.

Words like that will make him believe that he is really unlucky or a failure and your relationship may be affected because of that.

(6) You are good at nothing:-It is not that easy to build a strong relationship. The most important thing is to understand is that it is your duty to support and help your partner become happy.

Even when your husband makes mistakes, you should encourage and find a better way to tell him that criticizing him.

Of course, you can tell him his mistakes but not in a harsh way. Remember, he is your husband.

words, good communication, communication skills

(7) One minute man: –Have you ever used that phrase on your man? It is a harsh thing to say.

No man was created a “60 seconds man” Your husband may be having some health challenge, and that is why he is not able to last longer during sex.

But using it as a weapon of defense is such a sordid thing to do; you can help him research the internet to find the cure for the disease instead.

(8) Look at what you gave me as a gift:- Learn to appreciate any gift your husband gave to you no matter how big or small it is.

It may not be convenient for him at that moment to get a bigger or better gift for you, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love you.

Also remember it is not the gift that matters, but the mind.

Showing appreciation will make him want to do more, but criticizing his gestures will make him feel he is not sure of how to please you.

(9) I have never reached orgasm with you:-No matter how heated the argument is, never use husbands in abilities to challenge him. Using it as an advantage makes him feel he is less adequate in bed.


Take time to ponder on whatever word you want to let out of your mouth. Remember, it will be easier to forget those actions, but words stick to the heart.


Meeting The Most Important Emotional Needs Of Your Marriage

emotional needs, marriage emotional need, meeting emotional needsDear, if your marriage is not working as you desire, there is a tendency that you have neglected the most important emotional needs of your marriage and I will prove it to you in a moment.

You see, every marriage has needs, and those needs are so important that if they are neglected, it will affect the marriage negatively. Most couples are so ignorant of these important emotional needs, which is why there are so many cases of disagreements, infidelity and divorce.

In this article, we are going to look at those important emotional needs and also look at how you will fill them out in a way that will help your marriage stand firm.

All those need are contain in what Steven Covey an American bestselling author called “Emotional Bank account” which is where all the love that sustain a relationship is deposited.

: – )

Howdy: Download my 32 Pages Free E Book on How to Have A more Marital Happiness. Get it here


If the “emotional tank” is full the love you shared with your spouse will burn brightly, but no marriage run well if there is an empty tank.

So how much love and care do have deposited on your “Emotional bank account”? Believe it or not, the success or failure you’ll experience in your relationship/ marriage depends on the answer you will give. Simply put, the more you have deposited on this account, the more love will be triggered and the more your marriage will succeed; for that is the most important ingredient for a happy marriage and love burns from the emotional reservoir to keep the marriage flame burning.

Everyone has an emotional account, which just like the ordinary bank account is blank from the beginning, but as we live our lives, we either make a deposit or withdraw from it.No one can make deposit on his or her account, it is meant for someone else to deposit on it. Your wife can make deposit and withdraw from your account and you can do the same on your wife and both of you can deposit on your children too.

However in this emotional bank, monetary unit are not used, but trust, care and others. In marriage or relationship, whenever we meet the need of our spouse, we make a deposit in his/her emotional tank, and when you fail to meet the need, you have made a withdrawal.

One of the ways you can continually stay in love is by making sure you make more deposit instead of withdrawals and every single infidelity /affair is obviously a product of empty emotional bank reservoir.


happiness in marriage,emotional needs

We have been taught that love comes first in marriage, and we also focus so much on that too, but nobody told us that we must nurture, feed and water our marriage by meeting those little needs of our union.

When I realized the impact having more trust deposited into this account can make in a marriage, I started looking for how to help other couples understand these too; I visited so many couples,asking question about what their spouse can do to then that will make him or her fulfilled, or how would they want their spouse to take care of them?

Taking care of needs have great meaning when it comes to how far a marriage can go: it simply means doing whatever there is you can to make each other happy, what extra mile you can go because you want your spouse to be happy. As insignificant as that word can be, any marriage that lacks it, is very close to a big fall, if not dead already.

But no one got married to be miserable after sometime. Everyone begins with in the eyes and with so much hope, and dreams to have a successful marriage. But at a time things started crumbling down.

Amazing isn’t it?

In the earliest stage of your marriage, both of you made so many promises of taking care of each other, and you were sure you want to do just that because the love was so strong, and each of you were so much motivated to see each other happy. But how many of those promises did you keep till now? Little did you know that the very moment you stopped caring for one another, all the love that existed will be lost in a twinkle of an eye.


                              emotional tank,emotional reservior   Why am I talking about “Care” now?

You may be surprised why I am talking so much about this now

Why should I be telling you about taking good care of your partner now? You see the truth is that you love your spouse so much, but you may have neglected the most important things that matters to him/her.

And as I am writing this article, you are still not sure about what it means to proper care of your spouse.

You believed love is everything; you believed you have been so much committed to making your marriage happy.

Well, all of them are good, but that is not all there is to care for your partner in a better way, I am talking about taking care of your spouse most important emotional need.

Question is what is emotional need

What is this “Most important Emotional Needs”?

These are th0se types of need you have that when it is well satisfied, it makes you feel so good and so contempt from deep within you, but when it is not well taken care of, you’ll feel very bad and frustrated.

These needs are so important to you that you can give everything to get them solved;it is those cravings in your heart that when someone fulfills it, you wouldn’t mind falling in love with that person.


By now, you would have seen where I am going. : )

But let me tell you a story that will help drive it into your sub-conscious.

I have told this story before in my article 11 ways you are unknowingly destroying your wife and killing your marriage; but I think it will be good to use it and show you what solving emotional problem can do to someone

The story is all about a woman who was knock down by motorbike; though she sustained just minor injuries, but someone was around to help take her to hospital; there and then the woman called the hubby to tell her of the incident and husband showed interest by asking her to go to the hospital for treatment, and never bothered to call again. But the other man that offered her help called again and again and again just know how she is doing; that’s how it all stated and the woman became a good friend to the man because he did what the husband was supposed to do.

In that story, there an emotional need of care, but the woman could not them from the husband, but from an outsider.

I am not praising her for her actions; I was only telling you what happens when someone’s most emotional need is met.

However, everyone have basic emotional need it is not just for the women, men too have theirs


Lemma show you another true life story that will drive in what I am trying to portray

This is a true live narrative from one of the blogs I enjoyed reading.

Hello Dearest Stella,

its an honour to share my chronicle of hope with you and my fellow SDKers.
I met my hubby to be when I was 20 and an undergraduate. We courted for 4yrs and got married 2years ago. Our marriage is blessed with a beautiful daughter.
Before I finally agreed to choose my hubby over all the men who were asking for my hand in marriage, I considered the following attributes which are;

His stand with God.

Read the full story from the source

From what you read, you can figure out what the most important emotional need of those two examples where. And to be precise with you, you must start looking deep into your marriage/ relationship from now on to understand what the need of your marriage is; if you really want to bullet proof your marriage from infidelity.

Another question is

How do you know what these needs are?

Don’t worry that is why I am here

There are so many different emotional needs: like need for thanksgiving parties, going to movies, and many others.

But the fact is that everyone is uniquely made and so the needs are different as well, that’s why it is very impossible to understand where to start when you want to help couples that are passing through emotional challenges in their marriage.

emotional need, fammily needs

As I went about asking couples how they prefer their partners to care for them, I realized that-the women’s most import emotional needs were the men’s least need which became a little challenging. That’s the reason it seem hard for couples to meet each others need but in other to get things right I had to classify all they listed into one category, and that is what I called the most important emotional needs.

Here is a list the basic emotional need

  • Openness and honesty:Every partner want relation where there is honesty and openness. Being honest in marriage creates better and stronger relationship to couples. Honesty brings security in marriage and makes couple to be bonded emotionally. They know very well that they can trust each other.


Couples that openly share their past, their present plans and activities as well their future are always able to make quality decisions. However, when there is no honesty and openness in a marriage, there is always fights and quarrel.


  • Commitment: Any marriage that has stayed a long time has a level of commitment present. This is when couples are so willing to do anything there is in other to see that their marriage is moving on well.


In marriage, there will always be times when all things may seem upside down. At that time, your ability to stand firm depends on how committed you are. That is why every partner wants to see that commitment in the other partner. When one partner is more committed than the other, things don’t normally move well.

  • Helping in domestic works


  • Admiration:How do you admire your spouse? How often have you looked at his or her face and say “dear you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I bless the day I found you.


Y0ur spouse want you to admire him or her, and I will encourage now to make a list of all you admire in your spouse. Understand that the hallmark of every relationship is to admire your spouse always.


  • Physical attractiveness:Physical attractiveness is view differently in every relationship; while some partners view it as a temporal thing which should only exist in the beginning of a relationship; some think it is something that should always be there in other for the marriage to be stronger.


My take on this is ,if being physically attractive to your spouse will increase the deposit to your “emotional bank account”, then make it a point of duty to make yourself always attractive. Eat well, dress well and neat too.


  • Affection: Affection is a type of love that exists between people that makes them feel so close, safe and very well cared for. Affection is that emotional bank deposit of love that makes your spouse feel very good about your marriage any you. I call it love in action. Marriage thrives well when there is a strong affection, and that’s why every partner must work towards building more affection in their marriage.


  • Sexually active: One of the things every couple has to themselves and are not expected to share with an outsider is sex. Somehow some couples have lose their sexual life. It is either they are not satisfying each other, having sex at all or that the sex life is boring.


To be sure that you are having the most important emotional need of your marriage met, you must try everything you know to revive sex.


  • Companionship:Being a good companion is what every partner want in any relationship. When you were starting out in marriage, you were so interested in winning him/her, you did all you can to impress and charm your partner.


Now that you are married you thought they are not important anymore. The truth is that your partner expects you to be the best friend he/she has; you must be a good companion too.Do take your relationship for granted.


  • Financial support:Finance plays a very big role in marriage, and most people got married to their spouse because of the financial security to expect to get from their spouse. When a partner is not getting that financial securities he/she hoped for before getting married, probably due to the partners under employment or unemployment, they become unhappy and frustrated.


At times, these are not seen at the beginning of the marriage but when it has lasted for a while of even after the children. Remember we are talking about meeting your marriage most important emotional need and also remember that I said that we usually fall in love with anyone that meets our most important need.



  • Conversation:Conversation is another emotional need every couple craves for. However, so many couples have neglected this and have their marriage broken.

Conversation is one aspect of marriage that can never be toyed with, it is during this time of communication that partners share their views and opinion with each other. If your marriage lacks conversation today, you are not alone. But just understand that you can restore it by learning the skills.


You will agree with me that those are the more common emotional need, but there may be some variable since every marriage is not created equal

When your spouse has one of those needs, and it is not met, he/she may want to swallow and suffer with it, or seek somewhere else to get the satisfaction they need. Which do you prefer?

Rounding up:

In other to make sure that the most emotional needs of your marriage is not taking for granted, you have to figure out what more your spouse’s needs are and see a way to take care of them. Remember, all you are seeking is to bulletproof your marriage for infidelity.

Bonus Read

11 ways you are destroying your wife and killing your marriage.

The Marriage Sweeteners