￼Did you your partner started showing you some serious cares and love lately and you are not sure why?
If yes, then you must Read this post carefully.
Why did I say so?
You see, that could be clear signs of emotional abuse.
Lisa Ferentz describes emotional abuse as subtle, which is unlike physical and sexual abuse that you quickly noticed in a relationship.
This usually comes to the victim subtly as if the partner is on a new level of caring. The abuser, pretends to be kind and more attentive, until they gradually makes the victim vulnerable through getting their trust and confidence, and then they keep abusing the victim.
All these emotional abusive behaviors are just the little tricks he/she employed to distract you from suspecting the reality of all his/ her of manipulations to you.
Here they are
Signs of Emotional Abuse you should not neglect in your marriage.
1) You’ll be getting threats from him/her:- Threat is one of the ways an emotional abusive partner gain more power from the other partner.
They use this manipulative scare tactics to make you accept their views or actions.
He/she may threaten to commit suicide if faced with some breakup issues, he may also threaten to expose you in an embarrassing way, or even threaten to take any of your valuables like – child, money. Jewery, or home.
Some may even threaten to dump or tell your or families of any of your secrets he/ she knows about.
All these are just to make you defenceless from his or her further actions.
However, when you see all these, then know you married and emotional abusive partner.
2 No Respect For Your Privacy:- If your partner starts disrespecting your Privacy, then he is emotionally abusive.
An abusive partner may wake up one dey and demand that you hand over your password or codes to him/her.
He may want to read your private messages or listen to your voice mails whether by insisting you handover the password, or by hacking into it. Those are clear signs of emotional abuse.
3) Jealousy:- To some level, jealousy can be said to be good in a relationship.
Jealousy is only triggered when there is perceived threats in a marriage or relationship.
Diana R. Gerhart, PhD, a family therapist said that jealousy is only bad “if acted on it aggressively”.
She also said that “it can be useful if it’s approached as a force of good”.
When jealously is mild in a relationship, it makes the couples becomes careful not to take the other for granted, it also encourage partners to appreciate the other.
However, when jealousy becomes more than the “occasional fleeting feelings”, it then becomes a red flag that your partner is emotionally abusive..
For instance, if he/she become jealous of people you relate with, the times you leave the house, the clothes you put on, the books you read or want to fight anyone that looks or come closer to you then thats a red flag.
4) Intimidation:- The abusive partners have so many ways to make you become his/her puppet without saying a word.
They use intimidation;
According to the dictonary,Intimidation is the act of frightening or threatening someone to do what you want them do.
Example: If your partner is the type that constantly interrupts your ideas, or criticize what you have said in the past, then it a sign of an abusive behaviors, he/she is just trying to prove that your opinions are of no values.
5) Blame game:- Blame game is another serious sign of emotional abuse you should not neglect in.your relationship.
This is simply when your partner wants to point fingers on you for almost everything.
Example probably, He/she tries to wear a pair of shoes and didn’t see one of his stockings, the next thing is blaming you, when she feels hers desires are not met you receive the blames again.
Dr Neil, a writer in fobes say that ” chronic blaming is a form of emotional abuse… And blame reduces intimacy”.
Blaming create a negative environment between you and your partner, when you allow it to linger a little bit more, resentment follows, and it also makes the other person feel as though he/she can never get anything right.
Be watchful to know when these things starts coming up.
6) When your partner always refuse to accept flaws:- Abusive partner never admits their flaws, and so they always want to make you feel they are perfect. However, they are very far from perfection.
If your partner is such that wants to project perfection images to you, then always take time to look well, you must see those cracks on the wall.
7) Judgemental:- Emotional abusive partners are always very quick to judge the other even without understanding his/her points.
They are easily provoked and so you’ll not know what will get him/her furious the next second.
All these didn’t just start, they usually started from the different little strokes of intolerance and then grows writhing a short time and become rigid.
8) Quest to be in control:- The truth is that power and control is the most important thing the abusive partner wants in the first place. So if you realise that your partner always want to be in control at every point in time, then that’s a red flag.
He manner of control may not be as obvious as he getting you to give him your car keys, he/she may just convince you to quit your job just to take care of the children.
That’s a sign to watch in your relationship before it becomes a threat.
9) Name calling:- This is another sign of abusive behaviors. It is true that we have the right to joke and tease each other in relationship, but there is a very thin line between making jokes and being rudeness.
If your partner call you names like stupid, ugly, dumb, useless, unlovable, then that’s another red flag that he is an abuser.
Name calling make the other partner look as someone “negative”. But all the abusive partner wants is exert power over you sense of worth.
In conclusion, do not neglect any little sign of emotional abuse you see in your marriage, because it may be hard to deal with if not handled on time,
One of the things to do to curb it is to aproach a marriage therapist to help you.
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