5 Toxic behavior that creates a disconnect between you and your wife.

Love, disconnect in marriageIf your once a happy marriage starts going sour all of a sudden, don’t blame it on the witches or anybody.

 

If you you take your time to look inside, you may be convinced that the fault is all from you.

 

Some times we do things that hurts our relationships without even knowing.

 

There are 5 toxic behaviors that are capable of causing a disconnect between you and your better-half.

 

In this post I will show you what they are and how to avoid them.

 

A time came in my marriage that I asked my wife to list some of my behavior that repels her, and I was shocked to see an endless list.

You can do the same too. However, if these 5 behaviors still exists in you, then don’t be surprised when you see your spouse avoiding you.

nagging husband1) You are a nag:- If you are such that likes to murmur, criticize, shout, yell, condemn etc, then you are a nagging husband / wife and your partner will never want to get close to you at any time and that brings a disconnect both physically and emotionally.
I bet this is not what you want in your Marriage.

 

The fact is that sometimes we don’t know we are nagging, but when you find yourself desiring people to do things the same way you want it, then you are in the game.

 

The truth is you are trying to make things work out the way you want it, but to the other partner, it’s a command (nagging) and no one wants to be commanded.

 

Most times its poor communication that leads to that, and constantly nagging your spouse means you don’t trust her /him, and you don’t think about his/her feelings too.

 

Here is a checklist of 6 ways nagging destroys a relationship

– It brings quarrel:- The reason that you always want things to be done your way will always bring quarrel and that brings avoidance and a disconnect.

-Resentments:
– Poor or no communication
– Both of you becomes enemy.

How to stop nagging :-

One way to stop nagging is to always see the good side of him/her.

 

Comparison in marriage2) Comparison:-My wife is not the outgoing type, wow! how I wish my marriage is as happy as Mr Williams, my husband can never help me keep the house clean like Mrs Johnson’s husband, my wife is fond of keeping her hair lose, she should learn how to pack it sideways like that woman next door.

 

If you find yourself talking like that, then you are full of comparison and it can hurt your spouse and kill your relationship.

From science research, comparison was found to be the source for jealousy, envy, depression and can as well destroy your ability to trust.

 

If comparison can breed all these, then why do you still indulge in it?

Everyone is unique and every marriage is unique too. what works for others may not work for you: Just be contented with who or what you have and move forward.

 

busy husband3) Coming home with your business :- You leave early to work everyday and come back late also: so why do you still come home with your work?

 

It’s possible there’s need to do one or two checks on you business at home, but that should not be at the expense of the time you spend together as spouse.

 

Couples time is important, because that’s when you discuss about how to move family forward.

 

So forget about business when at home and have a nice time together if you want your marriage successful.

 

busy husband and wife4) You are married to your gadgets:- Technology has brought joy to the world, bit it has also brought division in relationships.

In almost every marriage now, you see each partner holding his/her Android phone laptop, iPad, iPod or other devices. All these though they are good, but they bring distractions to our relationships.

 

It hinders communication and that brings a disconnect also.

So if you have the habit of pressing you laptop, phone or iPad, you are only causing damage to your relationship. Learn to off it sometimes and pay attention to what your spouse want to say.

 

5) Pride and Ego:- You are too full of yourself. No one is equal to you, both your spouse.

Frankly, Ego and pride has destroyed so many marriages, because it prevents good communication and closeness.

 

However, relationship thrives well where there is compromise and understanding.

Too much pride and Ego can only destroy your relationship because it will make you less compassionate and keep people away from you.

 

So to avoid your spouse preferring to stay alone instead of coming close to you, put off your garment of ego.

 

Conclusion:- A great attitude they say is like a perfect cup of tea  so if your attitude is not good enough, then you are missing that perfect coffee.

Remember, bad attitude can hurt your relationship, but a good attitude will help to make your relationship successful.

 

See you at the Top.

From your friend Murphyaik.

Are you ready for that marriage?:- signs to know if you are ready for marriage

Are you ready for marriage,signs you are ready for marriageIf your wish is to get married any moment from now, then it is important to be sure you are really ready for it: never bow to peer pressure or rush into any relationship simply because your friends are getting paired daily.

it’s impertinent you get yourself pretty ready before taking that giant strides, because marriage requires more than mere love to succeed.

There are principle for a successful relationship and if you are ignorant of those principles, then you’ll not go far in your marriage.

Here are few reasons why you shouldn’t rush into marriage now.

1) Marriage is sweet, but it is not always rosy:- You’ve seen most of your friends married and most times you see them walking in the street holding hands and laughing and you are wondering when your time will come.

Well your time will definitely come and very soon too: but don’t think those couple laugh like that always.

They also have their fair share of fights and quarrel too, they only knows how to sacrifice to make their relationship great after fight.

 

2) Marriage is for a life time:- At the marriage ceremony, People made a vow to be married to their spouses -in good health and in sickness till death.

I have heard people say they are ready to divorce and divorce again when the marriage isn’t doing well.

However, if you understand that marriage is for a lifetime, then you should know that it takes daily nurturing to make any marriage work.

3) Love is not enough to make a marriage successful :– If you think love is enough to make marriage successful, then think again.

Love only helps you to kick-start the relationship, but it can’t keep you there a long time.

Of course you’ve falling in love with him/ her and you are feeling the butterfly in your stomach. That’s interesting. But what if the two of you love each other so much and there is no compatibility, don’t you think all will not work out well.

4) Marriage will not make you complete:- You are rushing into that marriage because you believe that you will be happy.

In 2012, a research was conducted, and it was found on that couples who were married were not as happy as the couples who lives together and yet not married.

Also the research conducted by Bureau of economic researchers in 2014 show that the only thing that matters is the quality of relationship you have with your partner. “if you consider the person you married as your best friend, then happiness comes.; in that case friendship comes first than happiness in every relationship.

For all these reasons I mentioned above, don’t you think there’s every need to get yourself ready first before rushing into that relationship?

In this post I will show you how to know if you are ready for marriage, to avoid divorce at the last moment.

 

are you ready for marriage Ways know if you are really ready to get married.

 

-Ask yourself if you are ready:- The first thing to do to know if you are really ready to walk down the aisle  is to ask yourself question about how ready you are.

Ask yourself what you know about being married. Although there’s no such things as a perfect ways to make marriage successful, but there are things that helps in achieving success when it comes to it.

How many of it do you know. A story was told about a little boy who told his father that he wants to get married, but the father bought a pig for him and told him to rear it first as that will show his readiness for marriage.

I am not liking a women to be pigs, but here is the rest of the story.

One day, the boy became so angry and kill the pig because she returned to the mud after bathing her.

The father then told him that killing the pig signifies that he’s not ready to have a woman.

The simple fact is that there’s so much to know before going into relationships.
If you are not acquainted with the rudiments, then forget about it for now.

 

– Have you forgotten about yesterdays relationships:- Before any new thing can happen to your life, you should be able to forget the old.

If you are still holding on to your old and failed relationships, then you are not ready for the new.

Although It is not that easy to do though, but there’s need to move forward.

Holding on to the past will affect the way you think, your decisions as well as your actions.

Try and clear the bad baggage from your subconscious.

Of course there are still good people out there that can make a good husband /wife so let go and move forward.

 

– Can you share your mind without fear- A good and successful relationship is that in which the partners are not afraid to share their mind with each other.

If you are such that believes your better-half should read your mind, then you are not ready yet.

In successful relationships everyone speaks their mind no matter how fearful they are.

if you have not done that before ,then I implore you to learn how to keep your fears away and say what you want in your relationship.

 

-Do you know how to cook:- And adage says ” A good food is a way to the man’s heart” Many men love to eat, and so they are happy when they marry a woman that knows how to cook too.

Most men who their wives doesn’t know how to cook are usually angry about that, but somehow they may choose to keep quiet instead of quarreling with the spouse, but many times they prefer to go out and eat good food.

ready for marriage,getting marriedQuestion is: Would you prefer your spouse eating outside than learning how to cook before getting married?

Although most men look beyond cooking when they want to marry these days, but if you know how to cook, you are on your way to winning his heart.

– Can you clean a toilet:- Cleanliness they say is next to godliness. If you have not learn t how to wash and keep things clean, then this the best time to do so.

Every man wants to come home to a neat home.
But, most women are so lazy when it comes to keeping a house.
Learn how to keep things in order always so if your spouse come home all of a sudden with friends, he will not feel disgraced.

 

– Are you ready to take care of your family?.:- It is the right of every man to take care of his wife and the children.

It is true that nowadays every hands is on deck, husbands and wives now engaged in work just to bring food on the table.

 

However, men should not forget that it is their duty to fend for the family.

If you are planing to marry now, then ask if you are ready financially to fend for every member. if not, then you are not ready for it.

 

– If you are still a mama’s boy?:- If you can’t do anything with your wife until you get permission from your mother, then you are a mama’s boy and it can harm your marriage.

I am not advising you to disrespect or hate your mother, but your marriage will be more successful if you concentrate more on your marriage and still give your mother her do respect.

Become the man who is ready to take care of his family rather than that man who can’t make a worthwhile decision unless the mother does for him.

 

getting married soonConclusion:- Getting married is a thing of joy, however it is important to enter into it very prepared.

Remember, marriage is not for a day, but till death do you apart and that’s the reason to learn whatever is there to know about it, to avoid early divorce.

In this post I have written some points down to help you check if you are ready.

See you at the Top.
I am still your friend Uchegbu Ikenna ( Murphy’s)