http://www.focusonthefamily.com/As 2015 is gradually coming to an end, you should be able to say this is how I performed as a husband and father. How would you score yourself? 80%, 50%, 20%. Well, the answer depends on you. However, if you score is below 80%, then it is below average, a good percentage for a successful marriage is 100%, that means everyone putting all effort to make the marriage work.
In this article, I want give you some tips that will help you improve yourself to be the best husband you can be in 2016. If you are ready, let’s ride on. Just get a glass of anything you like.
But let me worn you up front;
I know you have read so many self-help books, you have attended so many seminars and yet everything still remain unchanged.
You should not threat this article as the same. If you know you will not make use of what I am writing here for you, let me know so that I’ll stop writing …..
Oh! You are still here?
Ok let’s go
Here is why you must be the best husband and father.
If your wife is not happy, your will not be happy and your marriage will be unhappy too:- Behind every successful man, there must be a good woman. When a woman is happy with a marriage, she tends to do more to help make it stand firm.
For your wife to be happy, she must have confidence in you; she must be able to say “ yes “this the man I married. If your wife is no happy because of your attitude, things will not be the same again.
Improper attitudes will make her to keep distance from you and keeping distance means shutting the communication door and when there is no communication, the marriage is heading for a fall.
Like attract likes:- If you want your wife and your children to be the best you want them be, then you should make frantic efforts to be your best. Children especially learn very fast from the people around them; Most of the men that bully their wife learn that from their parents, also when you look at those divorced families, there must be a trace of divorce from their family. Live your life so that people around you can get the best of you.
It will bring peace in your marriage:- being the best father and husband will bring more peace, joy, love and commitments to your marriage. When you learn how, when and where to do the things you should do as a husband, everywhere becomes peaceful, and secured for marriage to thrive well.
If your marriage lack all these I have mentioned, then you need to check yourself properly.
What can you do to be the best husband and father in 2016?
Make a New Year resolution: At the end of every transaction, people take stocks to know if there is a profit or loss. You can also take stock of your marriage to know if you did the best to make your marriage work or you killed your marriage, you should be able to say “yes my marriage is much better than it was the year before.
Taking stocks of your marriage lets you know if you contributed positively or negatively to your marriage. What are those things you didn’t do well? Are there things you can drop or things you can improve on? I implore you to make a list of them and paste it wherever you can see it. Then start adjusting yourself to work with what you wrote in your list.
Discipline yourself to start:- It is very easy to make new year resolutions, but it is not that easy to put those resolutions to work. The only thing that will help you succeed with your New Year resolution is to discipline yourself to work towards your goal. It may require you to change your life style. There are things you need to give up, and there are those you will strongly hold on to.
Though it may not be an easy task when you want to change to be a good husband and father, but it is worth doing so that your marriage will move to another level.
Be a good protector to your wife: You may not need to fight for your wife, but one thing she always wants to assured of is that she is secured, and that she can rely, trust and find shelter in you. Your wife can trust you completely if she realize how transparent you are; that will make her to be open too.
Like I said before, you don’t have to fight for her, but those little things you do- like using the words like “us” instead of “I”, and also doing other things that will build confidence in her is enough to make her feel safe with you.
Be more romantic: Re-ignite the fire of love in your marriage. Many men stop dating their wives immediately after wedding, but that is improper. If dating helped you when you wanted to get married, you still need it to make your marriage stronger. Plan to have more romantic dates with her, find time to hug, cuddle, and kiss her. Research said that at least 20 minutes hug can add more passion to your marriage. So why not start now to be more romantic. If you are not sure of what to do, ask her to tell you all that can make her feel good.
Choose to please her daily: I realized that it doesn’t take much to make your wife happy. All they want from you is to show that love. You may not give her a large pay check; just a little gesture can make her feel on top of the world. By now you would have known those little things she likes; you can write them down and make efforts to do them. You will be amazed at what joy will feel her heart.
Make effort to know her very well:- It may surprise you if I look you in the face now and tell that you don’t know anything about your wife. From research, most of the marriages that lasted long are those that know themselves well.
Can you tell what your wives favorite book is?, what type of food does she like, where would she want to be on her leisure?. Knowing those things will help you be the best husband and father this coming year.
Always give her undivided attention:- What has been your attitude during your conversation with your wife? Probably you are among those that will have their mobile phone or laptop in the hand or may be watching the television. Your wife wants to have your undivided attention, she wants to know that you are interested in what she is saying.
The best way to do that is to be a good listener. Never interrupt her while she is taking.
If you think what she is saying is not correct, find a better time to tell her, but that should be gently and with wisdom.
Prioritize your marriage:- Let your marriage be the first thing that matters you. It is amazing how people neglect their marriage because of job or business; that will only hurt your marriage and remember, your marriage is where you will go back to when the work is gone. If you are keen about being a better husband and father, then prioritize your marriage. Let your friends know that you love your marriage more than anything in your life.
Get home on time when you close from work. Some men prefer to hang out and get home late; if you are among those, then it is time to stop; now you want to be a good husband.
Always see her best side and not the bad side:- It is true she has some flaws, but that is because you focus on that. If today you will make up your mind to count the good side of your wife, you may find out that it surpassed the bad, Concentrate on the good and forget the bad. That’s when you’ll start appreciating her.
Always learn to confront your problems:- Problems are inevitable in any relationship, but while some couples solve their problems amicably and move forward, others run away from theirs; but running away from your marital problems is the best way to make your marriage fail. Research shows that inability to solve any marital problem within the next 30 minute is the reason for divorce. Never go to be without solving your problems
Always confront your problems. Get help from a marriage counselor or therapist if there is need for that and never be ashamed to tell someone; maybe you can get quality help from them. A closed mouth they say is a closed destiny.
Learn to compliment and stop complaining about her:- Everyone want to be complimented and your wife is one of them. Instead of complaining about her inabilities, why not compliment her. Tell her when she did something good, after dressing, compliment her, tell her how beautiful she look, tell her how you love to have her as your wife. When she is out, send love massages to her. That will make her to change.
Decide to spend time with your family: If you love your family, then spending quality time with then is one of the ways you can demonstrate that love. Spending time will give you opportunity to know and understand your family well. Although there are limited time for parents to do that, but you should create time if you must be the best father.
Limit your expectation and stop being dominating:– I know every man expects much from their wife. Most marriage is so much based on one expectation or another; it maybe physical, emotional, behavioral, physical and financial and other expectation.
But, no matter what your expectations are, never allow it to overshadow the bond that holds you and your partner together.
If you want her behave in a particular way in a kind of situation, you should find a better way to explain to her instead of nagging. Never be too domineering, demanding or controlling because of the different views or opinion about anything.
Support your financially:- Your family have needs and they are not expecting an outside to meet their financial need. It is your responsibility as a husband and father. In 2016, you should try very hard to be financially stable in other to take care of your family. Let her know your current financial state and try and do what you can do to meet their needs.
Be faithful and don’t cheat: No partner feels good when the other cheated on him or her. Extra marital affair is one of the best reasons for divorce today. When you cheat it means your wife is not good for you and that you prefer other women to her. But a good husband will be faithful and never cheat on her wife. If you truly want to be one, then stay faithful.
All these are my opinion for being a good husband and father in 2016. There may be others thing I forgot to add. You can add your own opinion in the comment section. We will love to read yours