19 weird things couples do together that make them feel funky.

couple do weird things, doing things together, bring couple togetherNothing can spice up marriage like when couples do weird things together; it creates a very strong bond between the two.


The happy couples understand this secret of doing things together very well, and they never stop in the way; not when they know well what impact it can make.

It is true some marriage experts said it is not proper for couples to do everything together; their point is that each partner should still have some personal interests to tackle alone; that is good.

My own take on that is when couples continue to pursue individual interests and never show interest about the partner’s goal, they will sooner or later find out that they have become too far apart from each other and may suddenly create a valley among then.

The statistics of marriage success is each one giving 100 % of themselves and not 50/50 or even 80/ 20. So if you know that marriage becomes stronger when couples do things together, won’t you be very happy to do so many weird things with your partner?

One of the main things that can grow your marriage faster than you think is looking for a way to do so many things together as couples.
Here are few things it does to marriage.

– It creates great unbreakable bond between you and your spouse.

– It gives you room to value each other better.

– Each couple understands how committed the other is in what concerns him or her.

– It makes the marriage atmosphere so relaxing.

– It provokes strong intimacy among couples.

Now tell me, if these things are present in a marriage, how do you think the marriage will look like? Splendid isn’t it?

This article is to help you discover weird things you and your partner could do together to increase your love.

If you are willing to know them, now follow me closely.

1 Make love in a public place at least once: That is funny, isn’t it? But, it can be fun. Although not in an open place, but it will be good if couple can “break out of bed” sometime to enjoy sex. You can find a secluded area in the railway station, your kitchen, the backyard or somewhere people cannot see you.

Make it snappy and be smart so people don’t see you. This maybe the weirdest thing you can do together, and a new sex experience.



Tell me what you feel about this.

2 Try your spouse’s hobbies: One common ethics of married couple is – my husband likes to eat pork, like watching football, prefers to play basketball every evening; my wife likes sewing, reading celebrity magazine.
When you talk about movies, my hubby likes detective movies and my wife loves zeeworld television; that is okay.

Everybody have different interest, but it may be a very serious issue, when partners assume that every of their free time should be strictly for his or her interest.

When couples get caught up in only what matter them individually, it may be detrimental in future. So if you are so much interested in making your marriage work, then I think you should to looking into those things that matters to your spouse too.

That may give you different view of your spouse. You may not like it after trying, or trying to make it your hubby too, but it is worth trying out.

3 Take bath together:When was the last time you took a shower with your spouse. Taking shower together gives you an opportunity to explore your partner’s body. You will also have time to discuss private things together.

Taking shower together is another awesome time to treat your partner by scrubbing and washing her back and she scrubs you.

These weird things are good for creating bonds between you and your spouse. Sometimes during the bath together, both of you will realize that closeness and how the soft touching have turned into foul play, and sexual activities.

Just go ahead and have it there, if the atmosphere is charged for sex, don’t hold back. It may be another wonderful experience.


4 Spend quality time together:One of the reasons most couples disconnect in their marriage is lack of time together. So tell me how much time do you devote to spending with your wife?

Spending time together is not just about having sex and cuddling, It is more about having separate time together where you can just be with your spouse, with all electronics shot out, and both of you are locked in the euphoria of the moment.

It takes learning new things to make a relationship or marriage working, but when couple shares quality times together, they have time to share ideas and learn from each other.

Although it is always very hard to find time to spend alone due to the activities of the day, however, couples who want to feel happy in their marriage usually find a way to create this time for themselves.
Here are few ideas to find time for your spouse:

Plan romantic date nights: plan to have date night at least once in a week or once in a month. Make it a weekend thing, when both of you will be a little bit relieved from work.

Send emails and text massages: If you are  connected to internet, that means you can send emails to her and you can as well send text from your mobile phone to her. Let him or her understand how you are missing the moments you share together.



Tell him/ her how you can’t wait to be close together in the evening.
Make a special dinner for both of you: It may not be that easy to have free times to share together, but you can make a candlelight dinner in your home when you close from work. Cook your partners best and make it a surprise dinner for him or her.

Try laughing sessions: Share funny jokes and laugh. This will help to bring you closer. Get joke a day calendar and enjoy it in the morning before going out.

5 Fondle each other in the street: Happy couple doesn’t plan how they express their love to each other, it comes natural and that is why it feels genuine to them.



Let your expressions of love be natural. Hold her hands while working down the road and fondle each other. It will make the two of you funky.

6 Tickle each other all the time: I love tickling my wife whenever I come around her and she is always at alert to tickle. Nothing feels as good as tickle fight.

7 Sing together: You can choose a special number and sing just the two of you. It doesn’t matter how bad your voice is, it may sound great to your spouse. Remember to laugh loud when your partner is not hitting the musical notes pretty good.

8 Dance together: just get the grove on. Use the plates, bottles and the cup as your musical instruments. All you know is that both of you are having fun.

9 Go swimming together: go on a swimming date and splash water on each other. Take a dive under the swimming pool and let your spouse look for you. But make sure you know how to swim.

10 improve your home together: This is important because how you make your bed is how you will lie on it. So look at your home and see where attention is needed and then try and improve it together.

11 Recite the marriage vow together: You should remember the day you tied the nut (wedding) you made promises to each other. Sometimes just hold your spouse’s hands and looking straight into his or her eyes, recite the marriage vows once in a while. It will make you feel stronger.

12 Read and discuss a book together: Is there any book that excites you? Then read it to your spouse and discuss it together. That may be another opportunity you have to share another weirdest adventure.

13 Have a secret language: I was amazed when i heard a couple taking in short hand. Although I did not understand them, but they hear and understand each other very well. So have a coded language, secret hand gestures, smile or nod and use it when you want to relax.



14 Wear each others clothes: Have you or your partner asked you for your dress to wear? Did you know that one of the ways couples who have spent lots of time together express the love they have for each other is to borrow each others clothes. The women can borrow their husbands T-shirt and the men can jokingly try to put on anything that belongs to the wife.

15 Send texts from the other side of the room: Amazing! Isn’t it? You are in the same room with your partner and you are texting love massages to each other. I am not sure how to explain this, but it is the weirdest thing you can do together.

16 Groom one another: brush your spouse hair, use the ear bud and clean the ears burst the pimples, and you can as well removing the out of place hairs in the hair.

17 Try the liking love gesture: If you have a pet like dog in the house, one of the ways it can express love to you is by licking you or wagging its tail. You can do the same to your spouse. Use your tongue allover. It may not be nice though, but you are expressing the love.

18 Welcome the rain together: When the rain is about to drop, make a plan to get wet together in the rain. It is another way to have fun.

19 Just relax: you are not making love or caressing each other, but you are just relaxing in the inner room with your wives head placed in your chest. Put you mobile gadgets in airplane mode for the whole day that will make you focus with each other.

Over to you: Take the conversation further.
May be you have tried other weird thing that I didn’t mention in this article. We will love to hear from you.



Remember sharing is caring.
See you at the other side.
Your friend murphyaik.

10 seriously useful tricks to make your husband fall in love again with you

 husband love you again, woman and man, loveGetting married is one part of the game, but keeping the fire of marriage burning amidst all the challenges and stress from the daily activities is where the main trouble is.
How can you describe your own marriage now? What of those sparks of love you use to see in your husband’s eyes, are they still there? Did you know there are things you can start doing this minute that will make your husband fall head over heal in love with you again?
The way thing are going between you and your husband now, you are sure that love has been completely deleted from his dictionary; from his attitude now, you are sure this is not the same person you got married to.
The man you married could not stay a minute without calling or texting you to know how things are going with you.
The most frustrating part of it is that you have tried all you know, bought those gifts you know he loved so much, planned lovely dinner, and yet he doesn’t seem to take notice of them. You have finally realized that to him, you are invincible and you don’t matter anymore in his eyes.

Thankfully, there are things you can do to make your husband fall in love again, and I am going to show you those tricks in this article.
If you’re very willing to do all these Things I will show you here, then get ready to see your husband’s love blooming again.
Here they are.



Tricks to make your husband love you again.

1 Learn to always be yourself:

Your husband married you because of certain things he saw in you. You were the type of woman that doesn’t interrupt the husband when he is talking; you were the type that would not nag your husband.


You were such a woman everyone will want to be with, you used to understand what your husband wants at a point in time.
But now you have changed a great deal; you have started keeping bad friend, and you have learn t the thing you weren’t doing before.


You have given up about how you look; you are going out of shape now because you don’t take care of what you eat.


It is true your husband should love you the way you are, but no man wants to marry a nagging wife or a woman that is lousy.


Purse for a moment and think about how things were in the beginning when the marriage was young; don’t you think things will change if you should go back to your normal you.


I do think so myself.


So look and find those things that are missing and fill the gap. That’s when your husband will start loving you again. If you are not sure how to start, below is a quick tip to guide you.


Quick tips to be your true self-
– Align with your inner man:

When you are having conflicts with your inner man, you can hardly be at peace with your normal self. Understand who you really are. Who is the man on the inside? Until you align your life with your inner core, things will not change.


– Be careful when choosing your passion:

It is always important that we chose our passion carefully; you must make sure your passion is in sync with your true self and also in harmony with your standards and values.


– Have a positive mindset about yourself:

when trying to be yourself again, you must work on your mindset. Your positive believes is what will give you the energy to continue the work on yourself.


If you still see yourself as a worthless and undeserving woman, then things may not change. But when you give yourself the approval you deserve, then it will not matter most to you if someone approves you or not.


Know your tendencies:

Your tendencies are the things that sum up your good or bad habits. How do you behave in situations? Do you normally rush or procrastinate into things without considerations.

Understanding these things will help you identify the areas you need to make changes, it will also help you know which behavior empowers you or destroys you. So try and identify them.


2 Get your confidence back:


When you are confident, that means you trust and believe greatly in yourself, you have trust in your marriage as well as your life partner. When you lose your confidence that shows you don’t positively think about yourself as well as your capabilities.

Lack of confidence in yourself will make you have a shift in you thought processes and you start doubting yourself and your husband. But you must have confidence in your partner and his characters; that will make you stop questioning his actions and motives.

Men have ago and some have a very big one, if you really want to make your husband love you again, you must learn how to “stroke” his egos, all these cannot be possible when you are not so confidence about yourself or your husband. It is your duty to make sure he feels good. Talk and walk confidently if you are very interested in attracting your husband back.

The sooner you get your confidence back, the better and easier it will be for you to do the things that will attract him back to you.
3 Love yourself: You can’t talk about your husband or someone else loving you, without first loving yourself. So firstly learn how to love who you are, your body and remove every negative thoughts you have in your mind about yourself.


Even if you have everything you need in this life, without loving yourself, you can hardly enjoy them.


Every relationship you ever had clearly demonstrates in one way or the other about the relationship you have with yourself. That is why you must concentrate on loving yourself, as it will attract others to love you.


4 Get yourself some sexy dresses:

Now you are back to your normal you again:
The shapes are in place again; the next thing to do now is dressing to kill; just rush down to that outfit shop now and get some funky sexy dresses, remember we you are planning to get your husband’s love back, so take your time to select nice one.

There is absolutely no offense for you when you want to be comfortable in the presence of your husband.

Make sure you get something that will show all the contours and lines; then put them on one after the other and flaunt that your lovely body when he is watching the television; just use the side of your eyes to monitor his movement. I bet you he must lift his eyes. But make sure you are decent in them.

5 Get to know your husband more:


How much do you know your husband? Can you prove you know what he can do or cannot do? If someone tells you he saw your husband with another woman, can you say “I know and trust my man, or am sure can do this”. If you cannot answer those questions, then you don’t know the one you are marrying.

Researchers have proved that one the things that make a marriage stronger is couple knowing themselves well. So if you are not sure of whom your husband is, try everything you can to learn all you could about him.

6 Appreciate those little things he did:

Another important thing is to learn how you talk to him; the way you talk to him show if you appreciate him or not. From the very beginning, men were created to take care of their wives, which is why they leave the house in search of the daily bread. Although now, women go out to provide for the house too still men’s perspective still remains the same.

Every man want to know that they are appreciated by their wives; always know that all the going out and coming in is to see that you are okay no matter how things are.

Some women has lost respect for their husband, just because they receive better pay check than the hubby, now they have forgotten that the same man married them; they have forgotten the way they used to talk when the love was fresh, now is to shout and nag.

The best way to be sure of your husband’s happiness is to appreciate even the smallest things he did for you. If you are the type that thought your husband should know what you like, then you are making things worst. He is the same human as you are and there is no way he can know what you want unless you tell him.

So before you criticize him for anything, better look back and remember he is your husband.
7 Be submissive:


If you are the type of woman that nags their husband, then there is no way you can attract him to love you again. You will only drive him farther away from you.

The best way to get him is to be submissive to him. Remember it was you that married him in the first place and one of the bible principles for successful marriage is that a man should love his wife, and the wife in the other hand must be submissive to him; so why not give yourself over to him and enjoy the love of your life.

Your sole responsibility is to see that he is always happy, never try to change who you are, or even try to change him.
Only a submissive wife has the power to effect changes in her marriage. Even if your husband misbehaves at times, your submissive style will get him thinking again.

8 Text love back in to your marriage:

Thank God for technology. It has given us opportunities to the things we could not do when we are not close to each other and when it will be hard to do at certain place and time.

Peradventure, your husband never wants to look at your face again, listen to what you want to say, of even want to talk to you, then there is no way he can avoid your text massages. If you have your phone in your hands now, you have the weapon that can help you test passion back into you marriage.

Can you imagine how he will feel seeing your massages brightening his days?

Here are few text massages samples.
– Show some affection:

“I m having one of those days that make me realize how lost I’d be without you… Just to let you know”. Let him know that he is important to you. Men love that so much.


– Be more emotional:


“ We don’t say this as we use to, but I still love you”. This is simple but it can melt any stony heart. So if you are the type that find it hard to communicate emotionally, use this text massage.


– Be romantic:


“For it was not into my ears you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kisses, but my heart” by Judy Garland. This is make him feel romantic even if he is not the romantic type.


I hope these few massages can do wonders in your marriage, If you want some more of that, you can get them here.


9 Wear sexy make ups:

You were so meticulous about how you look when you were trying to attract your hubby; you wear good make ups and perfumes. Now you are married, and you thought those things don’t matter again.
Did you know that may be the reason your husband is keeping a distance with you?

Make up makes a woman look beautiful by accentuating the lips and the eyes which is the first point of attraction to your hubby. Make your face look good, especially when you wake up in the morning.
Try and wash your face immediately you wake up in the morning and apply a mild make up; that may be all you need to attract him to have sex with you.

Remember they said that looking good is good business.
10 Make yourself a mystery to him: By being a mystery, I mean making everything very fresh and exciting too, so that your relationship don’t become a routine
Some times in a marriage, couples become too familiar and comfortable with each other that they don’t feel excited with each other anymore.

The best solution for this is to device a way to create some new ideas and skills and make your hubby looking forward to discovering it. Let him have new things to learn about you, that will make him want to come closer to you.



Over to you my friend:
All these I listed cannot work or get result if you didn’t put them to action. Remember that getting your husband to love you again is the reasons you are ready this.

I implore you to try all the points one after the other and see how beautiful things will turn in your marriage.
I am still your friend
See you on the other side.

Learn from the best: Celebrities shared the secret to their happy marriage

celebrity and marriage,celeb longest marriage,celebrities have a happy marriageThe divorce rate among the celebrities is nothing to write home about: just turn on your radio, your television set even the newspaper and the first news you will see is the news of one or two celebrities divorce.


Why is it so? Do they usually plan to marry and divorce so that people can add it to their celebrity profile? I guess no.


Just like every other couple, the celebrities want to have a sweet and successful marriage too, they have dreams to marry and spend the rest of their lives together; they want to have children and see their children grow too, but circumstances would not just allow them to enjoy their marriage; although not all the celebrities are divorced, but the number of divorce is far more greater than those still living together.


In this article, you are going to learn some secrets of a happy marriage from 7 celebrities who will not let anything come between them and their marriage; maybe you can learn something from them.


I decided to write on this topic, because I know that many people’s faith in marriage have grown so cold due to the news about the break ups and sex scandals of these celebrities.
Now here are thing you will learn from these celebrities and their marriage.

You must understand what empowers your marriage and what destroys it:
One important thing that makes a marriage succeed is your ability to understand those things that will inspire your marriage, and devote yourself to it, and overlook those things that brings fight and quarrels.

Support each other: Every couple must be supportive to each other. Make yourself available when you are needed. Nothing brings confidence than knowing that your spouse is there at your back.


Don’t underrate sex: Infidelity is one of the very factors that cause divorce among the celebrities. That is why you should not play with sex in your marriage. It helps to keep the connection among couples.

Have and keep your private time private: It is good to share time together as couple, but it is also good to have a private time. This will give you room to think and work on your individual careers and dreams.

– Make time for your marriage: It doesn’t matter how busy you are, always know that your marriage should be your priority. You cannot maintain a strong marital connection without creating time for your marriage.


Now let’s move on : )


celebrities that have a happy marriage.


1 Angelina Jolie and Brat Pitt:

First in my list is the lovely Hollywood celebrities Angelina Jolie and Brat Pit. These two love birds got married to each other on August 2014 after living together for a long time (10 years). They have six children who they adore so much and try everything they could not to let their carrier take away the love the have for them.



Just like every other couples, they had their own fair shares of troubles, just as Jolie admitted, and after their wedding in 2014, there was a rumor that these two are getting a divorce, but that was just a lie as the two just celebrated their one year wedding anniversary.



Here is the secret to their happy marriage:

The two understood so well that when they spend much time together, it makes their tension rise; and so they usually create a way to avoid this.



They choose to stay apart for 48 hours after spending five days together. This little time of separation make them appreciate one another and that has helped them transform their marriage.

celeb happy marriage,celebrities longest marriage2 Rita Wilson and Tom Hank:

Thomas Jeffery Hank was born on July 9, 1956 (59 years) in California. He is a successful film actor, director, and Rita Wilson born Oct 26, 1956 at Myriads Ibrahim off Log Angeles. She is also an American Singer, actress and producer. The two met on a set (Tom television show) named Blossom Buddies and became attracted to each other.



They became more romantically involved after walking together on a film called volunteers and got married in 1988. Since then, they are still enjoying their marriage.


They attributed the success of their marriage to God and their ability to create enough time to do little things for each other, as well as sharing quality time together when it is possible. And Tom said that right from the day he met Rita, that he felt that “this is how marriage should be”.


They are 25 years in marriage now and are blessed with two children (Chester and Truman.


Lately, Hank has been sharing marriage success advice and officiating marriages. If you want Him to officiate your marriage then get in touch with him.

celeb marriage, longest celebrity marriage,3 Beyonce and Jay Z:

These two are among the celebrities who refused to have anything come between them and their marriage. Beyoncé Giselle Knowles was born in September 4, 1981 (34 years) in Houston Texas U.S. She is a singer, song writer, record producer, actress, dance and a business woman.


She got married to Jay Z, Whose real names are Shawn Corey Cartner on April 4, 2008.


Though these two are known for their inseparable nature, yet they have gone through rough times in their marriage too.


At a time in their marriage, these two had to be separated for a year, when a rumor came that Jay Z cheated with Rhianna.


Beyonce told Oprah that the secret to their happy marriage is having a balance between her independence and the love for the husband. She described foundation as an important factor in having a perfect marriage.



celeb marriage,longest celebrity marriage, celeb happy marriage5 Sarah Michelle Gellar and FrieddiePrinzeJr:

Sarah Michelle ( Nee Gellar) was born on 14 April, 1977 (38) and young and handsome Freddie Prinze was born on march 8 19 76 (39 years) Both successful American actors were born in Los  Angeles California got married on Sept 1 2002 in Puerto Vallarta Jalisco, in western Mexico.


They both met when working on a movie called (what you did last summer) and started dating in 2000, but became engaged the early 2001; just one year courtship before getting married in 2002.


Both are happily married, and are known for being fond of each other. They are successful on films and television programs, even as they raise their children.


As for what made their marriage successful, Here is what Sarah Michelle said “ We communicate and that’s my secret. It is also how I handle all my good relationships, whether they are male or female. If you bottle things up, it will explode on you”.


That is wonderful isn’t it? Communication helps our marriage succeed big time.


  happy marriage, celebrity marriage, long lasting marriage6Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith:

Quote by smith“Marriages go through shifts. And relationship go through shifts because in life, things shifts” That was a quote from The Hollywood actor, film producer and rapper.


Willard Carroll Smith, Jr was born in September 25, 1968 (47 yrs) in Philadelphia, Penn Sylvia,U.S and Jada Koren Pinkett Smith was born on September, 18, 1971 (44) in Baltimore Maryland.


The duo met in early 90’s when Jada was playing a role in his film (The fresh prince of Bel Air). They later fall in love and after a little friendship relationship in 1995, they got married in 1997

They are happily married and have two children together and a son from Wills first marriage.


Although there has been rumors of divorce, but Jada say’s “ I know who I am married to and has no worries”.


She also said that marriage is a journey and takes real strength and work. She pointed out that marriages fail because couples never realize that marriage is not just about flowers and heart. There must be hard times, but just believe you will come out stronger.


That was all Jada said; I hope you were able to grasp something from that.

celeb marriage, celebrities longest marriage7 Tim McGraw and Faith Hill:
Finally in my list of celebrities that have happy marriage is Tom McGraw and Faith Hill.
This two love birds married on October 1996 and have been staying together happily too.


They are both country music singers and have done so many duets together. Their music has dominated the chart for so many years now. They also have their individual songs too.
They joy of the whole thing is they did not let their career take away the love they have for one another.

Faith who divorced her first husband in 1994, met Tim in 1996. Tim was also engaged at the time they met, but that didn’t stop them from falling in love with each other, and they got married immediately when they realized that Hill was pregnant. Now they have 3 wonderful children together.

When Tim was asked about the secret of their successful and happy marriage, here is what he said. “ I don’t think there is a secret”. “You just have to love the skin you are in, basically; you have to walk this life together, there will be times, ups and downs, but you have to essentially like the person you like”.
“I think it is important to laugh a lot and have good time, life is too short, it sound contrived but it is the truth”.
I hope those words inspired you?

Tim and Faith had their marriage anniversary on the 6th, October 2015


Rounding up

I am not sharing about these celebrities just to excite you. I just thought you could know that successful marriage is for everyone. If they could have a strong marriage, then it is possible for you too. Just think about the ways to follow and get down to work immediately.


You will suddenly see things working out for good for you and your family.

I am still your friend,






How to single handedly save your marriage from collapse

Save your marriage single handedly, happy marriageDo you believe it is possible to single handedly save your marriage no matter how far it has deteriorated? Have ever looked at the situations in your marriage and thought if things will be the way they were years back?

There may be moments in your marriage when you realized that for one reason or the other the love, joy and peace you once enjoy in your marriage/relationship have deteriorated so much that all you and your spouse is thinking now is if there is any way to end it, maybe through divorce.

It may have been because of some emotional or physical abuse, quarrels and fighting, unsettled disputes, infidelity, addiction to alcohol, drugs or phonograph, or even from long disconnection from each other due to work, or personal choices.

Although all these are happening in your marriage, but you don’t want a divorce, you can’t stand losing your marriage and you have been trying so hard to see if things will turn around and be the way it used to be before. But you realized something strange in your partner’s behavior.

There seems to be no atom of interest left in him anymore, and you are asking if it is possible to single handedly save your marriage?
Here is my answer to your question: )

It is true your partner didn’t want to read those marriage self- help book, meet a marriage counselor with you: it’s true that all you get from him is a pale face or those encouraging words that all will be ok and you yet you are looking at the years going without any difference.

You have seen a lot of others with this same problem, and while some is either getting good supports from their partners, some got fed up and left the marriage believing it is much better to be alone, or get to someone else with better promises of a good life.

But, you are not getting support from your partner, and yet you have a plan to stay and work on your marriage.

Let me give you this good news now; it is true that some marriages are destined to fall flat, no matter how much you have invested on it to make it work.

But since you have a dream to work on your marriage, then you can actually save your marriage when you are so determined to take the steps, and I will share those steps with you in this article.

The very reason why most people go through life of sorrows and pain in their marriage or relationship is because of their inability to understand the key ingredients that make a marriage fail or succeed.

However, whether your partner is impassive about the whole issue or not, you know quite well what you feel about your marriage and you believed you can single handedly save your marriage and make it work successful again, then congratulations!

The reason I am writing this report is to show you some steps that will help you to single handedly save you failing marriage and make it happy once more.

But have this in your mind that it may not be easier for you in the beginning, but just one step at a time and you will see things changing for the better.
If this is really what you want to do, then I will show you how you are going to achieve that very fast.
Now let’s go;
Just relax your mind and believe all will work out at last.

Below are to simple steps to follow


     images1   How to single- handedly save your marriage.
                                               Step one

Change from inside:

One sure step to take when you are on your road to changing anything is to change from inside, look at the man in the mirror and start the change from there; it is possible that all the troubles started from there.

Also your perspective about things must change too, always try and see things from a different point of view. Most times you think you are very sure of your partner, you think we can vouch the way our partner thinks, feels or act.

Sometimes your spouse reaction to certain things may be driven by fear, and probably you have not taken time to understand exactly he/she is afraid of.

I believe your next step should be to understand what makes him or her very defensive or aggressive whenever you are having a conversation.



You may be shocked to understand their reasons; so instead of making things worse from the way you react too, try and know the reasons for those actions.

Let the whole focus of change begin with you, your relationship will start taking a new shape if you will make up your mind to change yourself and not your partner. Of course you cannot force someone else to change and be what you want, it is impossible.

However, when you change your actions and your attitude, then you are half way into saving your marriage.
The reason you should change is to become a more caring and more loving person than what you were before and it begins by changing your attitude.
A Greek philosopher said “people are disturbed not by things that happened to them, but by the principles which they form concerning those things”./ Simple put, never attribute your grievances to other but yourself.


The best thing to do when things are not working well is to change your physical or mental response towards them.

You can only achieve this by focusing on the good side of your spouse, and overlooking the inconsistent behaviors. Have in mind that no one is perfect even you. Take every of your spouse mistake as a process of growth and learning instead of a good invitation to nag.
happy marriage. save a marriage                               Step two
                            Identify where the problem is.
Before you decide to start the journey of saving your marriage single handedly, you must try and understanding the real cause of the problems in your marriage.



Things don’t just happen, there must be a reason why your spouse is behaving like that, and until you know, it may be difficult for you to achieve your aim.

Sometimes we are so ignorant of what our actions and manner may be causing in our marriage.

One day, I asked my wife to write down some of the things about me that need urgent change, I was so surprised to see her list, it was endless and to my utmost surprise most of the things in the list were the things I thought I was doing well.


Things like comparing your spouse with others outside, not taking care of the needs, not being there when you are needed most.
All these things I mention sound so simple, but it can kill your marriage before you realized it.


Why not try such a thing; ask your spouse to score you on what you are doing well and were you need to change.
You will be surprised too; you may even want to start defending yourself or trying to tell how wonderful a partner you are, but that is not necessary.

All you need to do now is to show how willing you are to becoming the best souse from that moment on.

So many marriages are breaking up because people think they are doing their best, but they are actually doing the worse. Emotional abuse is the worst thing that can happen to any marriage.

Just think about all those things that need to be changed, and start working on them this minute. How is your communication; believe it or not any marriage that doesn’t have a good communication is as good as dead.

If there is no communication at all, then try and build it, if it is poor, then improve it. Know when to talk and when to listen.

Carefully choose the words you use during the heated moments; it can be very easy to forget someone’s actions, but words are always there in the heart. Just try and learn new communication skills if possible.

Understand the type of conversation that hurt your marriage and eliminate the, but concentrate more those that inspire you and your spouse.

Another thing to check is the level of trust that exists in your marriage; trust is another important factor when you are trying to single handedly save your marriage from collapsing. Think back and know if there is anything you did in the past that has made your partner loss trust on you.

From the list my wife wrote about the things I need to change about me, one of the things that appeared many time is trust.
Trust is very important when you are trying to build strong intimacy in your marriage. From my wives list, I realized that I promised so many things that I did not do; I promised to get some gifts and I forgot, I promised to fix a bulb in the kitchen and didn’t do it on time.

All these little promises made her to lose confidence in some of my words. There may be ways you have betrayed you trust; just look back, and when you realize what it is, the next step is to start rebuilding the trust.

Building trust takes time, so you must be patient, consistent and resilient too. If you think this is what you cannot do alone, you can chose to employ the services of a marriage therapist.



They may be exactly what you need to get your failing marriage well. But make sure you look for the therapist who has experience in saving a marriage.

When you consider the cost of losing your spouse and filling for divorce, you will realize that it is better to take the step of saving it. The first is that you are losing the love of your life, and secondly is that you are spending you hard earned money doing so too.

However, in this journey of trying to single handedly saving your marriage, you must be sure it is something you sincerely want to do, because there are so many things that will want to hinder you.

But when you know that you are trying to get back your marriage to its better days, then you are sure your actions is worth the result you will get in the future, so just keep on working for the better days, your marriage will be happy once more.

I am still your friend murphyaik.
Feel free to let me know how I can be of help to you.