Dealing with the issues in your marriage in 5 simple steps

issues in marriage, issues of marriage, dealing with the issues in your marriage, marriage problem and solutionOne week one trouble and you are thinking if there is a way to dealing with the issues in your marriage. Have you ever wondered why other people’s marriage is strong and rosy but not yours? Have you ever thought if it’s possible to swap your marriage with one of your neighbor’s you admired?
You are not alone, everybody was there and you have not committed any crime for getting married to that your lovely spouse.

 
One thing very common with all the marriages is that the trying moments will always be there, there will always be fights and quarrels, there’ll always be one time you ask yourself have I made mistakes to marry my spouse, sometimes you may think of throwing in the towel.

 

What usually matters is your ability to deal with the issues in your marriage and move on like nothing happened.
Just as gold must pass through fire to become gold, all the marriage must pass through one issue or the other before it will stand firm.
So if you are asking whether your marriage will ever become happy again, my answer to that question is yes, but here are few things you must know as you read this : )
– It is something that has worked for other couples, and am sure it will work for you too.
– Nothing good comes easy and you should not expect these to be a quick fix, but if you are serious to see it work, you will have the result you desire.

 
– Since all marriage are not the same, some of the points listed here may not properly work for you; so just choose what will work for you and your spouse and get to work at once.

 
If you are ready for this, then let’s move on; just get yourself a cup of anything you like, for me I am having a cup of coffee here with me.
Just like I told you in the beginning, there is no marriage without trouble, but while some couples choose to deal with the issues of their marriage and move on, the others decides to get down and settle it in court through divorce. But that is not a good decision to make.

 

Instead of going for a divorce, here are 25 common marriage issues and ways of dealing with them.
lack f communication, divorceLack of communication: So many books have been written about this topic and yet couples are still falling victim of this. Poor communication is one of the big problems every couple experience one time or the other in their marriage.

 

Even when couple loves each other so much, yet if they do not have a good communication, the love will be lost in a flash. Of course there is communication between the two of you, just that it is brings more problems than it solve.
A couple once told me that each time they want to have a conversation, one issue may come up and the next thing is quarrel and that made them to start avoiding themselves.

 

Solution
One common thing that brings communication failure among couples is when one partner feels not understood by the other. Everyone feels bad when they are not understood and may react with action, silence, or any other way that may be inimical to the relationship.

 
However, the reason you are often offended when you think that you are not understood is that you always focus on people not understanding you, have you ever thought if you understand the other person.

 
Your marriage may be better if you think more about understanding your partner than being understood. This will reduce the quarrels and hurts in your marriage.
You can learn some communications skills that will help your marriage, below are few tools to help you.

 
– Develop good listening skills.
– Understand the best ways to respond.
– Have a good timing when conversing.
– Discover the communication skill that inspires your marriage instead of hinders your marriage.

taking your spouse for granted, love Taking each other for granted: When your marriage was young, you were so much engrossed with pleasing your other half, you were so interested in putting the first foot forward, there were still so many things to learn about your spouse and everybody want to be good to each other.

 

As the marriage advance, when you have fully known your partner too well, you started down playing his /her abilities and destroying his dreams.

 

It is true you still loved your partner so much but so many other thing have slowly taking his position; the children, the job, the domestic works and friends have taken over.

 

Of course there is need to take care of those things, but if it lingers so long the valley it will create between the two of you may be more than enough for you to fill which in turn brings divorce.

All there is for you to do is to turn around and refresh your relationship the way it was.

Here are quick tips to help you.

Solution
Accepting that the situation exists and make up your mind to make amend: Two things that normally impede success are blaming people or things for your failures on other people and inability to take decisions.

 

Once you say “yes I have been taking my partner for granted and I want it to stop now” that is the first step and the beginning of stopping it.

 

Quit pointing fingers and learn how to work together as a team and start showing appreciation when it is necessary.
disrespectful, happymarriagebuilder Stop disrespecting one another: In a marriage where couples are good at shouting and screaming at each other, there is a clear evidence of disrespect.
There are three ways you can disrespect your spouse.
Verbal disrespect: This is when you are speaking to your partner with shouting and screaming. The partners that indulge in this type of communication always think that the best way to be understood is by shouting. However, they are harming their marriage instead of healing it.

Technological disrespect: Technology has helped us in so many ways and communication was one of them. It has also increased disrespect among couples. You spend much time chatting, and texting that you neglect your partner.

 

When you are married and you are chatting on the social media as a single, then you are disrespecting your spouse.

 

Physical disrespect: We all are versatile with this type of disrespected. It is more of an action. It is when you abuse your partner physically. One way you display this type of disrespect is being distracted by your gadgets or any other even when you are in the mist of conversation with your partner. This can destroy any marriage any minute.
Solution
How to stop being disrespectful

Know your limits: You have to understand your limits and where your spouse’s starts. Always see everybody as someone important.

Learn never to talk back: when your partner is taking, you are expected not to talk. If you are not comfortable with what your partner is saying at that moment, never talk back. You can wait for another opportunity to make the correction.

Never argue: Argument is an easy road to fights and quarrel, it is best you avoid any discussion that will bring arguments among you and your partner if you must stop being disrespectful.
Turn on yourself and turn off anything that will cause distraction during conversation with your spouse.
past baggages, trouble in marriage, marriage issues Past unresolved baggage: Marriage is a relationship between to different people that had different experiences in their lives.
Example.
If your partner grew up from a family where there is always fight and abuse, or unfavorable atmospheres, He or she may bring the same baggage into the relationship and the couple from a good background will bring such to the relationship too.

 
This is mostly what brings issues in marriage. Because like attracts like. It is possible for someone who came from a home where there is no proper conflict resolution to get married to another with the same attitude. I am sure you know exactly how that marriage will be.
There will always be assumption where old baggage exists. Once anything that looks like what you experienced happen, you will be quick to think this is exactly how you saw it.
You may start blaming your partner of cheating when he or she comes late from work, because you saw something like that while growing up; but that may not be true.
Solution:
It may be true that you have some bad experience when you were growing up, but it will be proper if you come clean into your relationship knowing that the past is behind you. You should be conscious about moving forward with your new relationship.
Experts revealed that the best way to get over the past is reveal all your personal info (relationship problems) to your spouse, which will help you to feel supported and valued as well. That will help you unload some of your emotional baggage.

issues of marriage, issues in marriageMoney problem: Money is the tangible aspect of every relationship. Couples may fight and mend themselves afterward, but the issues created by money can last a long time.

 
The most reason why marriages break is because of money; this is because couples find it very hard to get back on their feet after having argument about money than they do after any other argument.
If money argument is one of the main reason for divorce, then couple must try all they could to get their finance in other so as to avoid it from coming.
Here are few money problems that can kill any relationship:
Inappropriate spending habit: The way you spent money when you were still single can never be the same as this time you are married. Now the responsibilities have multiplied and it is expected that you meet up with the current responsibilities.

 

However, lavish spending may be harmful to your income, which will also affect your responsibilities and when you can’t take care of your family, the next result is hurts and then divorce.

You are not on the same money train: Another money problem results when partners don’t plan how they spend their money, sometimes they are stuck in the middle because of lack of planning.

Solution to money problem: It is good you have plans with your spouse about your daily weekly, monthly and yearly spending that will help you to be on the same money train; so when there is an emergency, you will know how to handle that. In a marriage where couples don’t plan for their expenses, they usually have misunderstanding.

 
Have a family account and make sure you are dedicated to having money in the account; that is specifically for anything about the expenses of the house, from the children’s school fees to the feeding. That will help you save more for the future.

 

intimacy in marriage, love, issues of marriageProblem of sex and intimacy: Sex is one of the important things that bring quarrels in marriage; it is either there is no sex at all, or the sex life is boring. There is also the issue of intimacy, no better husband and wife relationship. I have heard some couples say they are no more in love with their spouse.

 
Let me tell you this now. If you are experiencing all these, it does not mean your marriage is over, it shows you are maturing.
Solution to sex and intimacy problem: If you are interested in dealing with the issues of sex and intimacy in your marriage, the first step to take is to spend more quality time together, that is when you should discuss about the thing that are not working well in your marriage.
Feel free to tell your partner how to help you reach orgasm, or what makes you feel good. Remember there is nothing to hide for your spouse.
Don’t think it is his/ or her responsibility to know.

Conclusion:

I have seen people complain that marriage is hard, but that is not true. It may be hard for you when you are not sure of what to do.
I have tried to show you most of the issues you may have in your marriage and how to solve them. Remember, there must be issues in your marriage, but this article have given you and edge over the problems.

 
I hope this will be a very good help to help you deal with whatever you are seeing in your marriage.

 

Over to you now; just get to work, and watch how things change in your marriage.
Just remember to share this with your friends.

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12 Ways you are hurting your husband and killing your Marriage unknowingly.

hurtng your husband, killing your marriage, unhappy husbandDo you know there are things you do unknowingly that will hurt your husband and kill your marriage?

Some week’s back I wrote an article on the things men do that is killing their marriage, and got so many feedback from the men and the women too, but today I want to write on ways you may be hurting your husband and killing your marriage without knowing it.

This is important since the science of a happy marriage states that for a marriage to succeed, every partner is expected to give not 80/20, not 60/40, not even 50/50, but 100/100% of each other. That simply means giving everything there is to give.

Anderson Armstrong a woman who specializes in helping women know men better says that men and women are different in so many areas, but they are alike when it comes to the desire to be loved. That means if you expect love, you must also show love.

 

Download free copy of 12 Ways you are unknowingly hurting your husband and killing your marriage. You can get the free download here

 

If you are a woman and you think you have tried so many things to make your marriage happy and it is not working out, I suggest you purse for a moment and check if there is where you are not getting things right; you may be hurting your husband without even knowing it and that may also be killing your marriage.

 

 

Men are very wonderful people to be with when you understand what makes them happy. However, when they are not happy, so many other things may be going down with it, but if you are interested in helping your marriage succeed big time, then this article is written to help you understand those things that is hurting your husband and killing your marriage too.

Here are they:

  1. Not showing appreciation: Everyone wants to be appreciated and your husband is one of them, but sometimes you make your expectations so big and fail to appreciate the little things your husband did for you.

Most women never have anything like thank you in their vocabulary and the experts said that the three important words that is required to help make a marriage strong is please, sorry and thank you.

Your husband expects you to show some appreciations whenever he bought gift or anything; it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. By showing gratitude you are making him see that you understand how important he is to you.

Be always vigilant not to take him for granted. Remember he is not an angel to be right all the time but just be ready always to find way to demonstrate your gratitude, for that will only make him do more for you.

 

  1. Stop being manipulative: Being manipulative is one of the easiest ways you can kill your marriage. Men don’t like it when their wives are trying to control then. Remember he is made to be your head and you are supposed to be on the supporting side.

If you are the type of woman that wants to force your husband do all you want without giving him room to move at his own pace, or you want to make him take all the blame for everything that went wrong in your marriage, then you are that manipulative wife and you are hurting your husband. Your husband wants you to be matured emotionally and know what will make him feel good instead.

 

3.You don’t respect him:Respect is one of the main recipes for a happy marriage. You are expected to show some respects for your husband.

 

Most women are good at rubbishing their husband especially in the presence of other people. Men never enjoy a marriage where his wife will be toying with his ego or making him feel inadequate, they want to be appreciated and praised all the time. Never berate or insult him

 

The best thing you could do now to help your marriage is to show respect to him.

Instead of making your friends look down on your husband because of your attitude, Make them understand that he is everything to you.

 

  1. Withholding Sex and affection: The experts said that holding, squeezing, kissing, hugging helps marriage grow and builds a strong bond between couples, but you are holding back all those affection; so how did you expect your relationship to grow.

 

We men love sex so much and one of the rules of marriage is that no one goes out to have it, so it is his right to have you whenever he needs you.

 

Never use it as a tool to punish him for not fulfilling his promises or for anything at all.

One way a man understands what his wife feels about him is by offering your body to him, and they feel hurt and rejected when they are refused sex

 

Your husband may not tell you how he feels whenever you refuse him sex, but he will start keeping distance from you and may go out to get the satisfaction from somewhere. You know what that means.

 

  1. He doesn’t matter to you any longer: In the earlier days of your marriage it was just the two of you. You never wanted anything to come between the two of you; now you have job and children and the love is divided. That is good! But does he still matter anything to you.

 

You prefer to attend to your job than knowing what your husband needs; you prefer to be with your children than to be with the man brought them into the world.

 

Children are the joy of our marriage and must be given attention to; yes our job is important as well. However, your husband is the most important person you have in this life.

Making your husband first will make him know that he is important to you as well.

Most marriage died because the feeling and emotions of one partner was substituted for other things.

 

  1. You are always unhappy: Your marriage will be a happy marriage when you are happy too, and your happiness will give your husband courage.

 

Your husband becomes more relaxed whenever you are happy. That will give him confidence and freedom to do anything easily and well too.

 

Never hold anybody responsible for your happiness and make efforts to bring your better self into your marriage, which will help it, grow fast

 

However, feeling miserable will make your husband to avoid you, since he is not sure what makes you feel good or bad.

 

  1. Demanding more than he can afford: Your husband knows from the beginning of your marriage that he is responsible to make you happy by taking care of your need and he strives to do that, but he will never want to take care of the things that are far beyond his income or budget, or when the wife complains about his financial inadequacies.

 

The best you can do for your husband when you know his worth financially is to keep your eyes low to what he is capable of doing.

 

Of course you are free to ask or demand, but don’t make him feel he is incapable of taking care of his family.

 

  1. Criticizing Him: Another way you may be hurting your husband and killing your marriage is criticism. Criticism if of two types, I am not talking about the constructive type, I am talking about faultfinding and nagging type, when all you see in your husband is imperfections and flaws instead of values and good.

 

When he is striving to impress you or make you happy, but in the mist of all he is doing to make you feel good, you are seeing all he did not do well. If he has five tasks to do and he did three perfectly well; instead of praising him for doing three well, you spend most of your time condemning him on the two he didn’t do well.

 

Do you know what you are doing? You are making him feel a though he is filling the bottomless pit by having you as a wife. What differentiates the happy couples and the unhappy one is that they choose to see only the good side of their spouse.

Your husband will feel more at rest with you when you make him feel secured being with you.

 

  1. Given up on yourself:You were so meticulous about the way you dress, the way you look and about almost everything that concerns you before you got married, but now those things doesn’t matter to you any longer. Hold on for a moment!

 

Taking care of how you look now you are married is as important as saying I do. It is true that your husband should love you the way you are, but never expect him to love you better when you are looking unkempt.

Some women never cares how they look especially when they are in the house, the same way they never care about how clean or dirty her surrounding are.

 

Your husband may not tell you how bad he feels seeing you the way you look, but for your own interest, try to keep yourself clean all the time. Wear nice makeup if necessary. That will make him fall in love again and again with you.

 

  1. Never wanted to be seen together:

You may be surprise why I added this; but I have seen this happen. I have seen women who are ashamed of their husband. They never want people to know she is married to such a short, UN-educated,broke guy or because he is fat.

 

Like I said initially, this is not so common, however I feel very surprised when I see two people who took time to date each other, got married and also become ashamed of the same person.

 

You have never wanted people to see the two of you hold hands or even walk down the street together. Sometimes you will not even allow him to hug or kiss you. Think about the harm you are causing him. Do not let this destroy your marriage.

 

 

11 Glued to your electronics: We are all happy about what technology has brought to us. Now everything has been made easy for us. But we have to create boundaries of the usage of all these things like our smartphone, laptop and other electronics.

 

Sometimes you are so glued to it that you did not realized it is time to be with your husband. It is just like you have found another companion and that your husband does not exist anymore.

 

I didn’t say it is wrong to us them, but you must not let it come between you and your husband. There is time for everything. When it is time to share with your husband, all the electronics must be turned off. This will give you time to discuss on how your marriage will advance.

 

12.Put him down in front of your children: There is nothing that can destroy a marriage like putting your hubby down in front of your children. It is true that you husband behave somehow at times; the best solution should have been to talk everything over, just the two of you than bringing the children into the matter.

 

Involving your children means telling them to disrespect their father and that will hurt your marriage more.

 

Rounding up:

 

Marriage is sweet when both couples are happy and work together as a team. But if you let anything take the place of the feeling you had for your spouse in the beginning, all you will see is fight, quarrels and argument.

 

I have taken my time to list most of the things that creeps into a marriage and cause some miserable issues in the marriage without the consent of the couples.

You can study them well and shield them from destroying your marriage. Remember, all these starts from the mind. Have a positive attitude and dreams about your marriage, your family and your husband.

 

If this article interesting to you, do share it with your friends, remember that sharing is caring and also let me know if there is something I didn’t include or may be what I should not have included.

 

 

 

 

Advice for newlywed couples: Definitive guide to happy marriage for newlywed

advice for newlywed couples, happy marriage happy couplesThis guide is written as an advice to the newlywed couple to help them build a happy marriage. However, it will still be a good help to all those that are still on their way to join the train of marriage.

I decided to write this guide from my experience as a married man and I am sure you will learn something from here. It will definitely direct your steps to having a good, strong and happy marriage which is your dream.

I said this because I am sure you have so many wishes for your marriage as well as fears. You have dreams because you are married to the one you love so much and desire to be together for the rest of your life; and fears because you have heard so many advices from people about how sweet and bitter a marriage can be.

In this guide, I want to take some time to demystify marriage for you the way that will give you confidence to hold your head up high and your chest up as you take your journey into this institution.

If you are ready for this ride, then get yourself a good cup of coffee or anything that gives you solace and let’s get to business now.

Download Free PDF File of Advice For Newlywed Couple for Easy Read. You can get your free copy by visiting here

 

Definitive guide to happy marriage for newlywed couple

Now the wedding is over, so what next?

It is so wonderful your wedding have come and gone successfully; welcome to another life journey. Life after courtship and wedding is a different life all together when compared with married life.

While you were still single, there were things you loved to do, there are places you love to go and there are the type of friends you love to move with. Those things were very easy for you to do because it was you and only you, now the system have changed, it is no more “I” it is we.

As a newlywed couple, just understand that wedding simply ushered you into the start of a new type of life. Now you have taken those huge steps of planning and executing your wedding, there will be a different type of life for you henceforth.

Now you have to start adjusting to this new life as a married person; there is no doubt things may be so overwhelming from this point on, but with a personal determination, you can make your marriage strong and successful too, and I am sure you will achieve it since you are reading this article.

As I said initially, it is now life of two people and not just you. And these two people are two unique people, with different personalities, different background, different parents and maybe different ethnic groups, so there is bound to be agreements and disagreements too. This is the reason you need to plan how you want your marriage to be from this moment.

Marriage is not bound by any chain, it takes the tiny threads of activities that take place as the couple move to maturity to make it work. That simply shows that happy marriage don’t just come to be; there must be crises and disagreement, and at times unexpected conflicts will show up after wedding or after some years of marriage. However, the type of marriage you will have depends on the type of person you are and how committed you pledged to be.

If this adjustment is done properly with more satisfaction rather than distress, then you will expect the joy of a happy marriage, but if your adjustments are with dissatisfaction and bitterness about your life, then work on changing lots of things before the happiness will come.

Although this sound like a rocket science, but it is easier than you think. Remember, this guide is to help you as a newlywed couples to start your marriage journey on a very solid ground.

But have in mind that this is just a guide for you as a newlywed, and not rule, they are just suggestions based on my personal experiences, and there is bound to be some exceptions to how it will work in your marriage, since marriages are not created equal. But since it can work for others, I also believe it will work for you.

Here are quick tips to follow

 

                                          STEP ONE

                            Write it down on paper

 

  • Write down five reasons why you chose to marry: This has always been my first advice to all the newlywed wed couples I have ever worked with. This is because I believe the best advice is the one you give to yourself; I also believed things work better when you know the reasons for your actions. So write them down and paste it in a place you will always see it. That will be a reminder and your personal mission statement

 

Your list will look something like this:

  • I want to marry because I’ve found the love of my life: It will amaze you to know that people have different reasons why they get married,some because they are forced to do that and some others because they think other people are getting married and they are not.

Because of these different attitudes of marriage, many things will not be done right. But when you marry because you found the love of your life, then you are sure of how to move on.

  • I married because I want someone to spend my whole life with: It is good you know from the beginning that marriage is not for a specific time, it is a life time investment, so there is no room to make a change.

 

Remember when you were still saying your marriage vow, it was for better and for worse; this is simply to make you understand that while there are better thing that comes with marriage, there is also the worst part of it, but you are expected to stand your ground. This will make you plan well on how to move forward even during the worst moment.

Your list could be endless; you know your reasons so write them down.

  • Write down five ways you want to live your married life: Like I said earlier, you hold the key to the success of failure of your marriage. Since you want to have a successful marriage, it is good you plan from this very moment how you want to live your married life.

Decide from this moment the type of friend you want to keep, having in mind that friends can heal or destroy any marriage, decide on the type of sacrifices you will make just to see that everything is going on well.

Within few years of your adjustments to a married life, there could sometime be a moments of confusion about how things are going between you and your spouse. It may look as if all your dreams are not coming to pass and thing are completely opposite of what you have planned.

Sometimes you may be forces to ask yourself if you have made the wrong choice. Those are the moments you will bring out you list and reassure yourself that you will have to make some sacrifices so that your marriage will stand. So get to work now and write down those ways you should go.

  • Write down five reasons you don’t want divorce:Divorce is the worst thing that can happen to any marriage and I know you don’t want it. You can’t stand to lose the love of your life; so is everybody, even those that are divorced today did not have that as one of their plans during their wedding, and yet it happened.

That means it can come to anybody. But if divorce is an option, why are there people that stay married for the rest of their lives? That mean there are thing they did that the divorced did not do. To bulletproof your own marriage from divorce you have to write down those reason you will not divorce your spouse. The list will be a good help to you in the future.

Now you have known the end from the beginning; you are now sure where your marriage is going, you have made your marriage foundation firmand now it is time to advance.

 

                    Advice for the newlywed couples:Step Two

                  Laying a good foundation for your marriage

You have finally finished writing down all you need to know about your marriage, it is now time to lay a good foundation for your marriage.

Anything that must stand well must be built on a solid foundation, the same is marriage. A good foundation is very much needed to make a marriage sweet. Today, marriages are breaking up not because it is harder than it was in the time past but because the foundations are not strong.

There will always be time in your marriage when the weight of marriage may hit you from all sides, it is only the foundation that will decide what happened next, and the stronger the foundation, the stronger the relationship.

One of the steps you should take to make your foundation stronger is

Know yours pouse well enough?

According to guttman, there seven principles that will determine if a marriage will last long or not. But topmost in his list is the ability for couples to know each other intimately and become very verse in the things that concerns each other; things like the personality, hopes, likes and dislikes, and the dreams. They have an unchangeable regard for each other and are also ready to share fondness anytime and everywhere too.

So let me ask you this question now; how well do you know your spouse? Though it may not be that easy to know everything about your spouse in a flash, but if you make some efforts, with time you will understand him/her better

However, you must understand how important it is to know your spouse better. This is why it is necessary to have a time of extended courtship before getting married. I didn’t mean if you didn’t have courtship then you should not marry.

Although courtship it is not always a criteria to a happy marriage; there are some couples who married few days after they met and are still enjoying their marriage and there are also those that dated for years and have ended up in divorce as I am writing this; so if you didn’t have time to know your spouse in the past, there is still room for you to do that now you are married.

One way to know your spouse better is to find time to spend quality time together. By spending time with your spouse, you will gradually understand the type of person he/she is, what make him happy or sad.

Secondly, you should always get in touch with your spouse even when you are not with each other; thanks to technology; now with your phone, you can travel as far as you want. You can call or send text massages just to inquire where or how both of you are feeling.

Understanding your partners personality is far important than anything else in marriage, because it will save couples the fee for filling in court for divorce.

Creating boundaries in your marriage:

I have talked so much about creating boundaries in marriage and I want to talk about it again here, because I know it is another stronger step couples must take to set a firm foundation for their marriage. You can’t have a worthwhile marriage without setting boundaries.

The boundaries you are building in your marriage is all about you. When you have boundaries, you will know where your power ends and where your spouse’s starts.

In a marriage where there is constant fights and quarrel, one of the reasons for that is the absence of boundaries.

A clear example of a boundary is the fence you put in your house; you didn’t do that just because you want to know the boundary between you and your neighbor, but because you want to clearly know and have good control of how thing happen in your compound.

That is exactly the same with that of a marriage. It is true you can’t control the way your spouse talks to you, however, you can take charge of your reactions when they speak.

You can also choose the thing you can tolerate and what not to. Did you see why I said earlier on that boundaries are all about you? So if you have not given thoughts to that before, then you can start now.

But remember that setting boundaries does not mean controlling the other; it is a way to set balance and better atmosphere of freedom and love for you and your partner, so you must not misuse it.

               Advice for newlywed couples: Step Three

                        Get your finances right

couples finance, have a happy marriage

The issue of money is a very crucial thing in any relationship. It can destroy or build any marriage no matter how strong it is. Simply put;It is one of the main causes of divorce. It has been said that you can’t buy happiness with money, but it is good to talk about money when it comes to marriage as it can be used to express our feelings.

So many marriages failed because they believed intimacy can do it all for their marriage, of cause love is very important, however, the gospel truth is that it takes more than love to manage money in any relationship.

For couples to succeed more in their marriage, they have to be more committed and open about their view on how to make, save and spend their money. My number one advice for you as a newlywed couples is to get on the same money train; although it may not sound too romantic to talk about money as a new couple, but if you truly understand what financial stress can cause in your marriage, then you will never hesitate to talk about it

Here are few steps you can get your finances right as a couple

Make budgets:This is a very important step to any couple that wants to put their finances in a good shape. Write down how you will spend your money in the coming days, weeks, months and years. Until you do this, you may not know the capacity you have to save money.

If you and your partner are working, it may be good to share some expenses and also to make plans to have a family budget.

Budgeting may sound like a rocket science to you, but it will help you so much and you don’t need to worry so much on how to start, there are some Apps on the internet to help you.

Create emergency money:What I mean about emergency money is money set apart for unplanned expenses. This should be for every couple; it helps to save some stress that will come when there is a loss of job, illness and other natural disasters. It will serve as a financial security to you and your spouse.

Have money meeting weekly: This is a place where you will talk about your weekly budgets; how you have spent above your budget or below. You will also plan for the coming week and also about the upcoming expenses. Just talk everything about money during this meeting.

                                 Advice for newlywed: step Four

                               Communication is very important

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Another important thing every couple must take serious is communication if they want to have a successful marriage. That also means without it, no marriage will stand. Communication is not just about talking, it encompass sharing live and feelings together.

Make it a habit to always sit and discuss about anything that concerns you as an individual as well as the things that concerns your marriage. As you go on talking, it will give you room to know each other and also develop trust for each other.

I suggest you talk about your daily activities in the morning before you go out for work, and also share how wonderful or bad the day have been when you come home.

Sometimes, there may be some disagreements when you are talking, but don’t let is linger, just find a way to settle it there and then, that is one characteristics of the happy couple and remember you are planning to have the best marriage in the world.

You should also try and improve on your communication skill; determine the type of communication that helps your marriage and stick to it, but let go of the ones that has the potentials to destroy your marriage.

I have an article on how to improve your communication skill and it will be of great help to you. You can read it here.

 

                      Advice for newlywed couples step Five

                                    Never undermine sex.

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Although it is early to talk about undermining sex to the newlywed couples at this moment, but it is still important you understand that sex is very important in marriage. However, there are so many newlyweds that are still facing the issues of lack of sex. Many spouses complain of their partners not sexually attractive or they are not sexually attracted to their spouse.While some are complaining of their spouse wanting sex all the time, some are complaining of not having sex at all.

In fact there are different sex story from different couples that will interest you. That is why I must talk to you today about sex and how you must strive to have a good sex ride in your relationship. Sex is one of those things couples uniquely share together, and cannot be shared with anyone. Sex also brings passion to relationships and differentiates couples from roommate.

Sexual relationship is of vital importance to any happy marriage and couples must be relaxed enough to talk about what excites and what does not about sex.

I have seen some partners complaining that the partner should be doing one thing or the other during the foul play and the other saying how he or she wish the other should not be doing something during the sex; There would have been a balance if they had time to talk about sex, don’t you think so?

As a newlywed, you should strive in satisfying each other. Feel free to tell your spouse where to focus during the foul play to make you satisfied. As for how often you should have sex, that depends on how much you and your spouse is comfortable with.

                  Advice for newlywed couple: Step Six

  When children start coming and how to keep loving each other:

happy marriage, couple and children

It is amazing how things change in some marriage when children starts coming. The children that are supposed to be a blessing to couples sometimes becomes a challenge to the love they shared when they were without children.Children surely bring happiness as well as problems to a marriage. No wonder they said that children are the crown of a marriage and also the cross of a marriage.

Research said that marriage/ relationships happiness can never be the same when children starts coming. They said that every additional child is likely to make couples one to three percent not happy with the marriage.

Yes of course parenting may be a hard work, but couples should not decline into unhappy relationship because of the children. There must be a way to balance the equation.

My article today will guide you on how to raise your children and still have a successful marriage.

Here are some points to guide you:

  • Love the children, but have more regard to the one that brought them Into the world: It is true the coming of children brings joy to a marriage; but why you are happy that at last you have your own crown of a marriage, you must also remember that before the children came, that someone was there to make it happen.

Your children did not come on their own, your wife may have carried then 9 months in her tummy and with all the stress and frustrations of marriage, and your husband was the very one that gave you the seed to carry in the first place.

So before you give all your attention to the baby, show more love to the one that brought then into the world.

I was with someone one day, when he said “I love my children more than my wife” and I imagined how that marriage will look like.

  • Make each other the first: It is important you make your children understand that they have their place after your spouse. Make then understand that your wife /husband were there before they came.

It is not as if the kid matters little, but your wife should be the first.One of the famous marriage experts Charles J Orlando suggests that you make it a point of duty to hug and kiss your spouse the very minute you step into the door, this will not only make your partner feel special, but the children will know that she also means a lot to you as well as they are.

  • Never discuss your partners’ weakness with your children: I have seen a marriage where each partner is struggling to have the children on their side and they tell them everything in other to achieve that.

 

Never talk about your spouse weakness to your spouse that will affect their relationship with your spouse as well as the relationship with the children. Just like I said in the beginning, let everything be all about your spouse. That will help your marriage in the long run.

 

  • Be your partners’ biggest fan: becoming a big fan of your spouse will help you in your marriage. Did you remember what exactly a fan means? It mean whatever that person does is good to you.

Your fan will never undermine any of your decisions, but is ready to stand at your back in everything. There are times when you children will want to prove to you that this is what the daddy or mummy said, never give them chance, rebuke them at once. This will let them know that actually daddy and mummy are at the same side.

  • Flirt even while your children are there:Like I said initially, let your children see you kiss and hold your spouse during your lunch, breakfast and dinner. I didn’t mean to do those things that are not supposed in front of your children.

That will not only help your marriage to be stronger, but will help you children to understand that marriage is far more than paying bills and other responsibilities. That will also help them value their own marriage when the time comes.

 

 

Rounding up:

I know you have heard so many advices about marriage; you are now in the place to think of which advice that is good for you and that will help your marriage to move forward. Remember there is need for a good foundation, you should not always tell people about what it happening in your marriage, you can find a way to settle your problems with your spouse.

Always know that challenging times must be there your way one way or the other. But you should take those moments as a step for growth and maturity for your relationship.