15 Highly Neglected Threats to our Marriage

MARRIAGE, HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGENothing destroys a marriage like not paying attention to those little marriage threats that rears its head sometimes in marriage, as well as not taking proper steps to avoid it or overcome it.

 

The reason why there is a steep increase in the statistics of divorce is no doubt because of couples unable to see those threats coming.

happy marriade, divorce rising daily, save your marriage, highly neglected threats to marriage

Before anything could happen, there must be signs and warnings, however, if there is no proper plan in place to stop it, then the end result becomes fatal.

 

In this article, I will be able to demystify the threats to you so you can wear your shied of protection.

 

There are so many things that can be a threat to a marriage, and most at times they look so insignificant that you may not even give much thought to it; yet it is eating deep into your relationship with your spouse.

 

You hoped your marriage will be very smooth and romantic, but what you are seeing right now is completely opposite to the dreams you had initially.

 

It was not in your plan that you will ever quarrel with each other, yet you never stopped yelling and shouting. It is no your fault.

 

Here is why all those things are happening; you were so negligent to see those subtle marriage killers before it pounced on your marriage.

Download Free PDF Profile of 15 Highly Neglected Threats to Marriage. Click here to Download

 

 

But don’t worry, by the time you are through with this article, you will see how easy it is to patch the holes in your marriage and to restore, joy, peace and love; just the way it used to be.

 

In this article, we are going to be looking at those highly overlooked threats to marriage, and how you can avoid it.

 

Now, let us dive in immediately 🙂

power struggle, happy marriage

Tussle for struggle:-

Marriage is not politics, it is a union of two good forgivers right, but how come sometimes there is a power tussle between you and your partners just as it is in politics.

 

Power struggle is a time in marriage when every couple is more interested about being right and you are ready to prove the other wrong.

 

I remember what a friend told me the day I visited the house to settle a dispute between him and the wife; he called me out and told me that all they are doing is just to know how will be the master.

 

He is trying to prove himself as the man of the house, and the wife is also proving to be the most qualified member of the house. But why should this happen in a marriage?

 

It is simple! It is very easy to blame your partner, than thinking of a better and proper way to make your underlying feelings known.

 

Couples who are stocked in the game of ‘why should this happen’ are more likely to struggle for power, because they are so much on the lookout about “whose fault it is”.

 

It was your fault that the children were not brought from school on time; it is your fault that we did not get that apartment; you don’t think about your family all you know is your work; all these you will hear from them.

 

You can blame your spouse for all the mistakes in the world, but you are simply turning the mistakes to be the faults of your partner. Think of what will happen when your partners respond to all these negatively; it will result in argument and then fight.
Now tell me what will become the faith of your marriage at this time.

 

No trust for your words:

Words are important, but understanding the proper ways to use your words is more important. It can be very easy to forget actions than words that come out of your mouth.

 

I said this to let you know that if you let your words be too unusual that nobody will have confidence in them, then you have made the greatest mistakes.

 

One of the things that make a marriage happy is trust, and your spouse will trust you more if they can rely on you and your words.

Never give your spouse the reason to lose confidence in words.

 

It will begin when you say those things you are not sure of, or promise those things you are capable of doing.

 

I fall victim of promising so many thing that I didn’t do; not that I didn’t want to do it, but I did not do it, and this caused a crack in my marriage until I was able to re build the trust.

 

It is better not to promise anything at all and still go ahead and do it, that saying it and not doing it at all.

 

If you neglect this second point, then your marriage may be threatened so much and may become worst by the time you come back to your senses.

 

Expecting perfection from your spouse:-

You know you are not perfect and you should not seek perfection from your spouse too. When you start expecting more than your partner can be or give, you are not doing yourself any good because you will feel bad when they fail to do or come up to your standard.

 

Sometimes, we measure if our partner is exact match for us, this usually brings dissatisfaction in marriage.

 

Remember that everybody is not created equal. They best step to take if you think your spouse is not what you expect is to help him or her grow and to offer yourself as a guiding angel during the process of growth.

 

Making sex casual and none existence:-

You may think you are doing your marriage/ relationship good by not having sex at all with your spouse or doing it just because you want to produce children. No you are wrong about that.

 

Sex is important in making every marriage strong, it provides a way for partners to have fun with each other and also strengthen their relationship. But it is amazing how people especially couples neglect sex in their marriage.

 

Research shows that couples have sex about fifty eight (58) times in a year, which is less than 2 times a week and also less than 15% of couple have not had sex for the past 5 months.

 

Happy couples are happier because they have sex more often. Although there is more to marriage than having sex, but sex is still very important to the growth of your marriage.

 

Now let me ask you this important question; when was the last time you had sex? If you find it hard to remember, then here is my advice to you; the more you let the time pass, the harder it may be to get it back as your body will stop producing the hormones that gets you arouse when you are with your partner.

ignorant, happy marriage

 

Ignorance:

Another highly overlooked marriage killer is ignorance; many people have accepted the saying that whatever you don’t know will never kill you, that is not true. So many people have been ruined or destroyed by those things they are not aware of..

 

Take for instance you did not know when they gave the alarm of impending flood coming to your area, and when everyone is packing out you didn’t; when the flood comes you will not give excuses.

 

The same is our marriage. Most marriages are being wrecked by ignorance. Many people enter the marriage institution without knowing all they should know about it, some are not sure how love is been practiced or expressed.

 

Some are not even sure of what makes a partner wrong or right, once they are satisfied emotionally, then all they believe they have a successful marriage.

 

Actually it is easier to make a relationship work, but if you are not sure of the things that makes it work, then you will not find it easy to cope.

 

Many people will give more attention to learn anything, but too little will be invested into learning how to move their relationship forward.

 

Marriage is not a game of chance. If you must study to pass your exams, then you must learn new ways to make your marriage strong.

 

Wrong utterances:

Words are powerful; they have the power to mend, destroy, inspire and stop you from some actions. One of the recipes that contribute to marital issue without the knowledge of the partners is the unguarded words that come out of the mouth of the couples.

 

Of course, it is your mouth, and you can say whatever you wish to; but understand that your marriage may be heading to destruction because of those utterances.

 

Some words are not good to be used at all in marriage, so before any word will come out your mind, weigh it and know if it will hurt or build your marriage. It is obvious you will want the growth and not death of your marriage.

 

Inability to express your feeling:

Another important silent marriage wrecker is not expressing your feelings or rather not doing it properly. Some people find it hard to express how they feel to their partner because they feel they may be criticized, misinterpreted or they are simply ashamed to let it out.

 

But understand that keeping quiet maybe hurting your marriage so deep. You have to be candid about any issues, hurts, disappointments or problems in your marriage. Let your spouse know when you are sad and express joy when you are happy.

 

If you should learn how to express your feelings well, then there should be reason for quarrels and divorce. The best reason you married your spouse in the first place is because you loves and want to spend your entire life together with your children.

 

Expressing our feelings makes us think through, and also give us the opportunities to move forward, but if you hold your feelings to yourself, then stress will come in, and the end result of stress is divorce.

 

Complacency:

Many couples believed the main issue is to find someone and get married to, that is why they relax once they get married. But believe me when I told you that getting married is important, but the ultimate achievement is making your marriage successful.

 

In other to get the most from your marriage, you must always invest your effort, time and energy into it.

 

Being complacent simply show that you very satisfied with the level of your marriage and you need no further sacrifices to make, but that will only keep your eyes off the potential defects or dangers.

 

Some times in the marriage, couple starts taking each other for granted, stop trying to make their marriage work better, and start giving attention to other mundane things. All these will make a relationship to be a routine and then divorce comes in.

 

Marriage experts rated complacency as the silent killer of marriage and this is true because before couples will realize the crack in the marriage due to complacency, then the damage is done.

 

Unfortunately couple do neglect this because they think their partner understands what they feel about them or that they know their partners better; but the fact is that it is very easy for someone to change especially when you have not taken time to nurture him or her.

 

Telling your friends about your marital problems:

Have you ever thought about how many details about your marriage you should keep to yourself and those to share with your friends?

 

It’s amazing how many marriages have gone down the drain because we share what is meant to be kept with our partner to other people outside in the name of getting advice from them.

 

It is very true your marriage is not working as it should, your hubby is emotionally not available, your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, so many things about your marriage doesn’t give you space to concentrate and you must tell someone to ease your mind.

 

You want to tell your friends and relative because you don’t want to experience that omen called divorce.

 

Hear this! The type of advice you may get, can quicken the divorce step which is not your aim of sharing. Why should you tell them? When everyone is busy solving his/her own problems.

 

It will be best to look for a way to settle the issues with your spouse directly. Sharing with your friends can only make the matters worse.

 

marriage and gadgets,happy marriageHooked on gadgets:

Gadgets are good, but do you believe that gadgets can ruin your marriage and destroy your emotions too? If you really want to make your marriage work very well, then you must limit the use of gadgets like, smartphone, laptop, and television etc., because it can really take you out of this physical world just like any other addiction will do.

 

I didn’t say you should not make use of them or that you should not make calls or check your mail; but you must know how and when it is proper to do that.

 

So many homes are destroyed because gadgets have taking up the little time couples have to spend together when they come back from work, think about the distance it will bring among you and your spouse.

 

I was a victim of this; because of my so much use of laptop, my marriage started taking a new shape. Sooner than I knew, my partner got herself addicted to her smartphone that she hardly hears me whenever she is chatting or checking up new updates on social media.

 

Thank God I realized it on time and then set boundaries. If you are getting farther apart from your spouse because of not putting your gadgets down, then you must slow it down.

 

Assumption:

Assumption is one of those things that can destroy any marriage in a flash if not taken care of. This is how it starts; when your partner says something, you quickly interpret it in your own understanding and then say it back to your partner, and still hold your partner responsible for your own translation. I call it mind reading, because you read whatever another person has in mind.

 

The harmful thing about this mind reading is that you will guess what your partner’s feelings or thoughts are and wrongly interpret it, and then go ahead and act without letting your partner know.

 

Secondly you assume your partner is seeing someone outside because you call him or her for lunch and maybe he didn’t answer on time, he always came back home very late and that is because he is dating another woman.

 

What if your assumptions are not true? Don’t you think if there is a good communication between the two of you, there wouldn’t be anything like that?

 

If you are feeling anything in your mind, or you want your spouse to understand anything, the best way to go about it is to ask politely instead of going into action.

 

Unnecessary comparison:

Comparison of any type in marriage is bad and can destroy any marriage no matter how strong the marriage is. There should be no reason for you to compare your marriage, your home as well as your spouse with anything outside. This is because nothing in this world is created equal.

 

Many people are fond of desiring to be what they are not simply because they see other people doing the same.

 

You see a beautiful girl passing by and you compare her with your spouse, you see a tall handsome man and you wish this is the guy you are married to; but you made the choice yourself in the beginning.

 

Another aspect of this is you want to travel for summer because your neighbor did that; you did not ask if you are capable of becoming who you are planning to be.

 

Did you imagine what stress it will bring to your marriage? I am not saying it is bad to think big, but there should be a limit to that else you will destroy your marriage by yourself.

 

Wrong associations:

The type of friends you associate with will either kill or build your marriage. One quote describe it well that “If you tell me your friends, I will tell you who you are.

Many people change their character or life because they associated or still moving with someone of good or bad character. If your friends are the type that can give good advice, then you are on your way to a better marriage. But what if they are the type that will tell you ‘if it is me I will not accept that” don’t you know what will be looming in your marriage right now?

Choose friend that will help your marriage than destroy it, unless you prefer the later.

 

Trying to change your partner:

It is wrong to enter into a relationship or marriage with the hope of changing your spouse in future. Research says if your partner did not change before wedding, he/she will not change after.

Wanting to change your partner will only make you to pushy, and no one want to be pushed. Just purse for a moment and imagine your previous actions; did you try to control or change your spouse? If that is what you did, I implore you to slow down because it will destroy your marriage.

I didn’t mean you cannot give worthwhile advice and corrections to your spouse, but you should think of a better way to do that so you don’t hurt you spouses feelings.

 

Rounding Up

As I round up with this article, here are the things you must give more attention to that will help you overcome those marriage threats. Never try to change your spouse as it will only bring chaos between the two of you, choose the type of friends you associate with, forget the power struggle and stop comparing your spouse, your home or yourself with anything outside. If you can avoid all these, then you will save your marriage from destruction

101 uncommon steps to enjoy a good husband and wife relationship

husband and wife relationship. happy marriageIs it really possible for couples to have a good husband and wife relationship?
Now looking back, how can you describe the relationship you have with your spouse; good, better, worse, nothing to write home about?That question is left for you to answer. Let me ask you again; are you having a good husband and wife relationship in your marriage?
It has already been said that marriage is a communion of life and whatever true love seeks is found in marriage; so you have no reason not to enjoy your marriage.

 
Marriage entails a life that is devoid of worries, sickness, joy and good health. It also involves dealing with the external and internal challenges, being young and getting old, copping with the small and big troubles of life, and also dealing with the social and individual questions.

 
As all these things go on, couples have so many days, weeks, months and years to share together as they pass through these.
It is also amazing how things move in marriage; sometimes big things become little, while small things become very big problem or result into a big quarrel and sometimes become so big that it will almost tear a marriage apart.

 
Love is known to provide acceptance to the other person no matter how he or she is.
Love provides a home for all, but marriage provides a resting place for couples.
Artificial and strained manners are not expected in a home.
In the bible, Peter said.“If a husband does not relate with his wife properly, their prayers will be hindered”.
Failure to live appropriately and considerately with your partner can impact your relationship with God.

 
This is one reason you must pay close attention to the type of relationship that exists between you and your spouse.
In this article, I have provided you with 101 ways you can have a good and quality husband and wife relationship.

 
I have classified it into three sections; Attitude, character and habit for easy reading.

 
Let’s dive in

101 ways to have a good husband and wife relationship
Attitude

1Pray together as a family:-
Prayer is the master key but it amazes me how people neglect prayers.
The bible says “the family that prays together stays together”. There is so much you can do with prayer.

 
Set out time to pray together always, fast together and encourage each other.
Learn to hold your hands as you pray for each other. When you are not close with each other, pray for yourselves and it will amaze you what results you will get.

 
2Trust one another:-
Trust is very important in every relationship especially in marriage. Every successful and happy marriage is built on trust. If you truly want a fulfilled marriage and a good relationship with your spouse, you must know how to develop trust.
Most couple think that just being sexually faithful is trust, but it is more than that,
Below are the different types of trust to look for in your marriage.

 
 The type of trust that will give each of you the first place in your life.
The type of trust that gives your partner confidence to believe you whenever you make a vow to honor, love, and cherish each other.
Never give much attention to any other thing at the expense of your marriage or take each other for granted.
Make your marriage and your partner your number one priority.

 

 

 Trust that you will stay sexually faithful to each other. Marriage can never work when there is a sexual infidelity among couples. Of course partners can recover from that with the help of an expert, but it is best if they remain committed to being sexually faithful to their spouse.

 

 

 Trust that you will never forsake your spouse during conflicts, anger,disagreements and sickness.
Quarrels, disagreement and anger are inevitable in every marriage. It is good when they happen without causing a fear of rejection or abandonment. You can achieve that by not using threat of divorce to your partner.

 

 

 Trust that you will love each other with nothing attached to it. Be confident of your love for each other and that nothing will come between you; not even money, friends or family members.

 

 

 Trust you will not reject or dominate one another:- The best place love can thrive well is where there is an atmosphere of security and safety.

 

 

Never hurt one another physically or verbally and also do not reject your partner or create that type of fear that undermines trust.When you become domineering to your spouse. It will bring mistrust, and insecurity becomes obvious.

 

 

3 Take your partner for who he or she is:-

 
4 Learn from one another:-

 
It is better when you see your partner as a mirror and that you can learn how to become better through him or her reflections.
Never blame or point fingers at your partner when you are upset, instead remain awake and find something to heal yourself from anger.

 
5Focus on giving more love:-
Happiness in marriage is not just about feeling good when other person love us, it is more about how you can love yourself as well as loving someone deeply that we will also be loved deeply.

 
6 Never expect too much from your spouse:-It is improper to expect so much from your spouse, because he/she is only human and cannot do more than he /she is capable of.
However, expecting too much from your spouse means mounting pressure on his/her life, as well stress on your own life.

 
When you are looking up to your partner to be perfect all the time, it will make you vulnerable to feel bad when you notice he/she is not living up to your expectation. So keep everything simple, and life will continue to move on.

 
7Share quality times together:-

 
Having sex with your spouse is one of the ways you can share quality time together. However, sharing quality time together is more than having sex.
You can decide to just be alone together and share your experiences, your interests. Tell the stories of how you fell in love with each other, laugh together and remind yourselves about your likes and dislikes.

 
8 Improve your communication:-
Communication is very vital in every relationship. Any marriage that lacks communication is heading to a great fall.
Improve on your communication now and see how strong your marriage will become.
You can learn some proper communication skills that will help your marriage.

 
9Make decisions together:-
There is bound to be harmony in a marriage if decisions are not made by only one partner.
Everyone must know that his/her opinion is welcomed in a relationship.

 
10Never be too emotional:-
Never allow yourself to be physically or mentally abusive to your partner. Never mistreat him or her. Remember you are planning to have a good husband and wife relationship.

 
11Understand those things that bring fight and avoid it:
First step to becoming a good husband or wife is to know those things that usually cause trouble between you and your partner and avoid bringing them into your marriage.
If it is the way you argue about anything, then stop it and learn how to keep quiet when argument arises.

 
12Be individually committed to making your marriage work:-
To make your marriage happy, you must be committed in doing those things that will cause it to happen. Therefore your individual commitments and sacrifices are steps you will not fail to bring to see your marriage become successful.

 
13Have a good husband and wife relationship in bed:
I have seen some marriages broken down because of sexual infidelity; most of the reasons giving as the cause are the inability of the couples to satisfy each others sexually.
Now when you hear about having a good husband and wife relationship in bed, is not just about sex but about being a soul mate to the other partner.

 

 

14Be your spouse  soul mate:-
Be a soul mate to your spouse. Every partner is expected to be deeply attached to each other. Care for him or her, believe in your spouse and live for each other.
Let your spouse have a feeling of natural and deep affinity with you.

 
15Respect each other:-
Respect is reciprocal they said. Learn to respect your spouse; that is when you can demand the same respect from him or her too.

 
16Let go of your baggage:-
It is obvious that every couple carry some special baggage into the marriage.
It is good you drop all those baggage now if you really want to have a good husband and wife relationship. Let them go so you can fully concentrate on how to make your marriage move forward.

 
17Let go of the past issues:-
Never bring up the past issues into your marriage, especially when you have settled it. Some of us are used to making references to the issues behind.
Remembering the past things you have gone through will not allow you to move forward in your marriage. .

 
18Admit when you are wrong and say sorry:-
There must be quarrels and disagreements in marriage, but partners who want to have a good marriage should know how to admit their faults and say sorry when they are wrong.

 
19Physical relationships must exist between you and your spouse:-
Always be there for your partner sexually. Never hold back sex because you don’t need it at that moment.
Hold hands, kiss each other, say I love you often, and cuddle each other. Those are the things that help you to be emotionally intimate with your spouse.

 
20Be conscious about the topics of your discussion:
Do not discuss anything about your marriage that your partner may not want to talk about at that moment, unless there is a better reason for that. It may bring quarrels and arguments.

 
21Give your partner time to be alone when he or she demands that:-
There are times when your partner will demand to be alone in other to read, think and prepare for the next thing ahead.
If he or she demands such a time from you, never hesitate to give it. It is important if you want a speedy growth to your marriage.

 
22 Do things together:-
Always do the things that bring the two of you closer to each other, like taking a bath, eating, watching movie, reading and laughing together.

 
23Be sincere to each other:-
Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Do not tell lies to your partner. Many marriages have broken down because the lies told in the beginning have been let out of the box. Everyone knows the truth now and things are not the way it used to be. Telling the truth will always help you move your marriage forward.

 
24Always appreciate your spouse:-
It does not matter how your partner is: ugly, handsome or beautiful, appreciate him or her. Appreciate any gift he or she gives to you; whether small or big. Overcoming every problem in marriage begins with a thankful heart.

 
25Share a common interest:-
One thing that is interesting in every happy couple is their ability to create a common interest when it is not present. Try everything you can to create common interest that two of you will share together.
This will make you become more interesting to your partner and prevent you from becoming so dependent on him or her.

 
26 Never keep track on the wrongs:-
Nobody is perfect. Everyone can make mistakes, this is why you should not always look at the thing your partner did wrong; concentrate only on the ones he or she did right.
Remember, if you seek to find you will see. It all depends on you. Happily married couples made up their mind not to look at that.

 
27Be proud to be seen together:-
A good husband and wife are always pleased to be seen together and most often in the most affectionate contact.
They want to be seen shoulder to shoulder, hand to hand. They don’t want to show up, but can’t help displaying how much they love each other.
This is exactly what differentiates a happy husband and wife from the unhappy ones.

 
28Understand your partner’s do’s and don’t:-
Everyone has likes and dislikes. Try and understand what your partner enjoys and what she hates. Knowing what makes your spouse feel loved will bring a quality husband and wife’s relationship to your marriage.

 
29Never invite outsiders when you are having challenges:-
Everyone has one problem or the other to take care of. This is why you should not invite any outsider to help you solve your marriage problems, they may make things worse.
Solve your problem with your wife and never sleep with it in your mind.

 
30Never compare your spouse to other person:-
Most couples are fond of comparing their spouse with another woman or man outside there. Remember you saw all others before you made your choice.
Let your spouse be the first thing that happens to you, let her thoughts occupied the greater part of your mind.
Section Two
                                                             Habits

 
31 Never sleep with your problems:-

Be fast in settling your differences; do not go to bed without coming up with a solution.

 
32Understand what makes your partner feel loved:-
“Different strokes for different folks”. The choices of life are different. Discover what stimulates your spouse, understand the things that make him or her feel more loved and concentrate on doing that; it will make your marriage stronger.

 
33Never speak of your partner’s weakness to others:

No one is perfect in this life; your spouse may be among the imperfect one’s, but no matter what his or her weaknesses are, never discuss it with another person outside the two of you. It may result to something else in the future.

 

34 Never disobey your partner:-

 
35 Never speak badly about your spouse in front of your children:-
It is important you give your spouse the respect he or she deserves all the time even in the presences of your children. No matter what your spouse did, you should not speak badly about your partner in the presence of your children.
Speaking badly about your spouse will cause the children to have negative view of your relationship which will at last make you feel guilty.
Always think well about what you say to your spouse especially when you are sad.

 

 

36Never try to change your spouse:-
I have seen so many partners who always want to tell each other the things to do and things not to do. They have an endless list of rules in their marriage. But why would all these be.
If you really love someone to take him or her as your spouse, then you must accept to take him or her as he or she is.
I am not saying it is bad to show good path to your partner, but you should never try to change him or her.
Try all you can to give your partner some space and remove him or her from the rule book.
37 Avoid blaming your spouse for anything:
It is also easy for us to see faults in our spouse than we see in our self. Any time I think about the blame that exists in marriage, I always remember the type of negative impacts it brings along.
If you are the type of person that enjoys blaming your spouse, I think it is time to purse for

a moment and ask yourself the reason why you are blaming him/ her and always have this in mind that the blaming game will only hurt your marriage instead of healing it.

 
38 Share responsibilities together:-

To have a good relationship with your spouse, it is good you share the family responsibilities together. Share the financial responsibility, the house chore the way it will be acceptable to all.
Survey shows that the couples that share the family responsibilities together are likely to stay united for a long period of time.

 

 

39 Take a walk together:-
Walk down the road with your spouse holding each others hand. Walking is not only good for marriage; it also gives you an opportunity to exercise your body.
You can plan to walk down to get some groceries from the super market or to go to the nearby cinema. Just take a walk together.

 

 

40 Go on vacation together:-

All works and no play makes jack a dull boy. This is why a good husband and wife schedule to go on a vacation, just to have the whole day, weeks or month to themselves.
It is important and will help them to learn and understand each other well.

 
41:- It is important to be open minded:

Be open minded; this is very important. If you feel bad because of your spouse’s action, feel free to say It immediately and forget if he or she say sorry. It is better than having it in mind. Never keep it to yourself because you are afraid to hurt your spouse.

 
42 Be yourself:

It is amazing how people want to change and become someone else, because they want to impress the other. How long would you feign who you are not? What if the other partner finds out; what will become of you and your relationship.
A good husband and wife understand this pretty well.

 
43 sacrifice for each other:-
One of the ways couples could make their marriage become stronger is to make some sacrifices for each other. So many marriages crumbled because partners did not want to sacrifice for their union.
What are the things you can sacrifice today just to see that your marriage moves forward? I know that it cannot be that easy when you want to play the sacrificial lifestyle, but the benefit is enormous and that is why you should give it a try.

 
44Connect with each other even when you are not with each other:-
When you are out for work that does not mean you can’t be connected to your spouse. Send love text messages to him or her saying how much you missed him/her. Tell him or her you can’t wait to have him or her by your side.

 
45 Go to bed at the same time:-

 
46 Make time for your spouse:-
Try to make time for your spouse no matter how busy you are. If a fish will find it hard to live when it is brought out of water,; so will a marriage die when you don’t give your time and attention to it.
Here are few tips on how to do that : )
(a) Prepare a date night at home.
(b) Read a love note to your spouse
(c) Plan some special routines
(d) Play games.

 

 

47 Learn to compromise:-
It is always our heart desire to have our way in all things, but that is not what marriage is all about, even if you are married to you twin, you can always expect to be different in some opinions. Those unique ideas, tendencies and opinions that is possessed by our spouse is what gives us an opportunity to view the world in different ways.
This is the reason you must expect to have some differences from your spouse.
Having constant negotiation with your partner will never allow your marriage to move forward, that it the reason why you must concede in some areas and be happy instead of fighting..
Remember that to compromise does not mean you are weak.

 

 
48 Always listen well before you talk:-
A good partner pays attention to whatever his spouse wants to say. None should interrupt the other until he/ she finishes what he or she wants to say. If you do not like what your spouse is saying, just keep calm and look for the best time to make corrections.
Be a good listener and help your marriage grow. By paying attention, your spouse will know that you are interests in the conversation. Never let anything be a distraction to you.

 
49 Help each other grow:-
One of the most interesting things about happily married couples is their ability to help each other grow.
It hurts when you realize that your partner is not committed to your personal interest. This is the reason you must support your spouse when he is exploring a new thing. Be there when he or she is trying to lose weight. Encourage him/her

 
50Never bear any grudge against your partner:
Steve Maraboli said
“When you hold a grudge, you want someone else sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but the two really meet”
Whenever your spouse offends you, find a place in your heart to forgive and forget immediately. Never bear any grudge against him or her, learn to let go.

 
51 Never try to emulate other couples:-

 

52 Never take everything personal:-
Taking things personal will do much harm than good to you. It will make you feel offended all the time. Never let the life of others dictate your joy or happiness.

 
53Be there always for your spouse:-
A good husband and wife are always there when he/ she is needed. Do not be a fair weather partner that will only show up when times are good. A good spouse knows they can count on each other.

 
54Never focus on each others wrong:-
Try all you can to maintain the most sincere love that comes from deep down your heart for your partner. Do not keep track of the wrongs.
Love doesn’t focus on flaws; it always looks for the best.

 
55 Give without expecting anything in return:-
A good spouse knows when and how to give without expecting to have anything in return. They believe the affirmation that it is better to give than to receive.
Whenever you want to give to your spouse, do it because you can and not because you expect something in return. Some men give gifts to their wives only when they need sex.

 
56 Never expect your spouse to be perfect:-
Dave Meurer said “A great marriage is not when the perfect couples comes together, It is when an imperfect couples learn to enjoy their differences”. Give each other room to make mistakes and grow up. Remember that no one is perfect.

 
57 Never fake your feelings:-
Work on being the real person and never plan on being the loving person. Show your joy when you are happy and let everyone know when you are not happy, But never shout when you want people to understand you.

 
58 Never expect your marriage to be easy:

Even the happiest couples pass through challenging times. They only work on their marriage and move on with themselves.
Never believe your marriage will be that easy. Do not think your spouse is responsible for all the troubles that you experience. See challenging times as your opportunity to learn and move forward in life.

 
59Let your spouse know how much you are worth:-
Never exaggerate about your income. Let your spouse know everything about you. That will bring more trust.

 
60 Change your thinking:-
Most of the problems experienced in marriage could be easy to fix if couples should learn to change their thinking about their partner. Instead of focusing on how your partner hurts you, remind yourself of the good things your spouse had done before.

 
61 Give surprise gifts to your spouse:-
Understand what your spouse love so much and give it to him or her as a surprise gift. It will make him or her feel good.
62 Be flexible:-Don’t be static especially when you make decisions, be flexible and let another person’s opinion count. Some people want to be a dictator instead of a companion.

 
63 Say I love you all the time:-
Let I love you be the anthem you sing all the time. Your spouse wants to be reassured of your love for him or her. Tell him or her how you are glad to be married together. When she is not around, send message to her telling her you can’t wait to have her by your side.

 
64 Say good morning when you wake up and good night when you want to sleep, even when you are not happy.

 
65 Learn to expand your heart:-
One of the things that unite us together is being happy with each other. This type of happiness includes our dreams to be close to the person in a more loving way.
To create real closeness with your spouse, make some spaces in your heart and create awareness to all the good things that is inside you.

 
66 Be pleasant always:-
The golden rule of the bible say in Mathew 17 verse 12“ In everything therefore treat people the same way you want them to treat you”It therefore means you must treat others the way you expect them to treat you.
Never be rude to your partner. Be kind, warm, understanding and positive.

 
67 Do not nag:-
No spouse will like a nagging partner. If you feel like getting a message across to your partner, do it without shouting. Many people think the only way to make your partner learn is to shout.
That will only destroy your marriage instead of building it up.

 
68 Get yourself ready:-
A good spouse honors his/her partner by keeping a very pleasant tone during conversation, a happy smile always on their faces, a clean and neat appearance. Take special care about how you look. Dress good and smell good too.

 
69 Kiss, hug and share pleasantries with each other:-
Learn how to cuddle, hug and kiss yourselves anytime and anywhere. It will make your marriage stronger and build emotional intimacy between the two of you.

 
70 Keep Smiling:-
Be cheerful always and ease off all your problems. Give a smile any time. Smile is a unique gift from God to man; animals don’t have this ability. It takes 20 muscles for a smile and 80 muscles to frown. So smile more often.

 
71 Keeping silence can help your marriage at times:-
Always be at your best behavior when leaving the house in the morning. If one of you is angry or provoked, silence may be the best answer. You may playfully tell your spouse that you can discuss the matter later when you come back.

 
72 Be selfless:-
Although this is not always visible in marriage; but most of the broken marriages happened because of selfishness of the partners.
A selfish person is only committed to him /herself, and never cares of anyone else. Start living your life with your spouse.

 

 

                                                            Section Three
                                                                Character

 
73 Start the day cool:-
Every morning, both of you should try and keep cool. No argumentative discussions or quarrel. That will empower you to achieve more.

 
74 Invest more time:-
No marriage or relationship will work well if couples do not invest enough time to make it work. Your relationship should be your most cherished treasure; it requires your time more than any other relationship.

 
75 Be humble:-
We all have our weaknesses and it is quickly revealed in our relationship more than anything else. Admit you are not perfect and that you can make mistakes.
Seeing yourself superior to your spouse will always bring resentments and will strongly hinder the growth of your marriage.

 
76 Do household shores together:-
Research says that the family that does things together stays together. You and your spouse should be able to yoke together. You may be sweeping the sitting room while she is cooking; It will bring a sense of equality among you.

 
77 Develop empathy:-
Always place yourself on the other person’s shoes. Understand how he or she is feeling at a point in time.
When you develop empathy, towards your partner, you will be more committed to doing the things that will bring joy.

 
78 Don’t expect your marriage to heal your wound:-
It is true that a happy marriage can bring joy; do not expect anybody to be the source of your joy. Only you can fill the hole.
If you leave your emotions in the hand of another person, emptiness and boredom will not cease from you, until you accept responsibility.

 
79 Never allow fear overshadow your love:-
You can never lose anything by loving, but you can lose so much if you withhold love. Never think your marriage is not going to work until you give all you know to make it work.
No relationship can survive without trust. Never believe in your fear from others, believe in the good faith of the others.

 
80 Do not seek validation from others:-
You don’t wait for another person to give you permission to become who you are. You don’t need validation from anyone to live a good life or to be happy. It is your duty to create the state of mind and introduce to your marriage.

 
81 Get on the same money page:

They understand how to make good use of their income. They have family purse from where they expense from for anything that matters in their relationship. When you were single, you spend money the way you want; but when you are married everything has to change; now it will take two of you to tango.

 
82 Be positive always:-
Being positive will greatly enhance your marriage. It will make your marriage stronger and will bring an increase in your marital satisfaction.
One way to do this is by showing appreciation toward your spouse’s success or accomplishments. Celebrate every success.
Another way you can be positive is to believe that every challenge you are facing in your marriage is working for your good.

 

 

83 Make yourselves a chain breaker:-
Every partner came from a different background. Though some may come from a healthier back ground than the other; but whichever way you came, understand that it is ultimately your responsibilities to break the chain and make the future right.

 
84 Have time to talk about your marriage:-
Communication is very important in every marriage but having a special time when you talk exclusively for and about your marriage is more important too.

 
85 Never stop caring for your spouse because of your children:-
Many people shift their attention to their children, forgetting the person that brought them into the world.
It is true that that attention should be given to the children also, but remember, your spouse was there before they came.

 
86 Have patience:-
Though it may take the two of you different times to grow,being patient with each other will make it happen fast.

 
87 Make your budgets together:-
This is one of the ways to talk about your dreams and plans for the future and what you need to do to make it come to fulfillment.

 
88 Make only promises you will fulfill:-
Sometimes in our marriage we make promises and never fulfill them. If you really want to have a good husband and wise relationship, then you must promise only what you know you will fulfill. This is one of the secrets of a happy marriage.

 
89 Renew your marriage vows always:-
Hold your spouse’s hands once in a while and recite that wedding vows again looking each other in the eyes.
Remind yourselves of the first time you fell in love with each other, share the stories and laugh when you need to. It will create a bond between you.

 
90 Don’t come home late:-
Many couples love to go home late; they prefer hanging out with their friends instead of going back to their spouse. It is better to get home early and stay with your spouse.

 
91 Make time for your goals and ambitions:-
It is very easy to concentrate on just your own personal ambition and think that your spouse share in them.
If you are not sure what you’re your partners life goals are, inquire from them. It is better to make time for each others ambition.

 
92 Remember your history:-

Marriage is a relationship that exists among to different people; always have in mind the things that brought to together in the first place. You will be amazed when you remember those old stories about your coming together.

 
93 Visit a good marriage therapist when there is need for that:-
A time may come in your marriage when you need to employ the work of a good marriage counselor to help you with some advises.

 
94 Keep your cost low:-
Learn how to keep your cost low, make the ratio 5:1; that means five positive feelings or experiences to one negative feeling or experiences.

That doesn’t mean you approach your marriage or relationship with calculator, however it is better to do a regular check on your marriage to check the costs or the benefits.

 
95 Nurture your marriage every time:-
No matter how much love you and your spouse shares together, it is important you nurture your marriage. Put all your effort into learning and implementing the things that will engender it’s growth
Read books play CDs, and go to seminars.

 
96 Understand that money is not all:-
There are things that can never be bought with money; joy is one of them. That is why you should not believe that your spouse is happy because you are giving her a large pay check.
Sometime staying close to him or her is much better than the money. Give her the money, but show more love.

 
97 Do not be a narcissist:

A narcissist believes that no one could be better than he/she is. You can never do anything to impress him. But a good husband and wife value each other as well as value each others opinion too.

 
98 Don’t rush into marriage:-
Being sure of whom you want to get married to is one of the first things you should do in the first place if you want to have a strong and successful marriage.
Some couples have made the mistakes of rushing into marriage without courtship. When they get into the marriage and discover the type of spouse they are married to, it becomes so hard to know what to do next.

 
99 Never let your addictions get in the way:
Many people believed that addiction is one of the things that cannot be forgotten especially if the addiction did not exist or was not known in the beginning of the relationship.
If you realize that your addiction is hurting your marriage, stop it. Though it may not be easy, but you must give it up because you are interested in making your marriage work.

 
100 The good in the marriage outweighs the bad:
A good husband and wife values their relationship so much that the never want to do anything that will cause pains to the other partner. It is not as if they don’t have flaws, however, weaknesses good are so little that you can hardly notice it.

 
101 They visit a marriage counselor when there is need for that:
It is obvious that disagreement is inevitable in any relationship; the happy couples understand that pretty well. Whenever they realize that things are going the way that is not pleasing to then, they always chose to go to someone that knows better than they are to inquire.
There are so many things you can never handle alone. Marriage counselors are well trained to assist couples solve certain problems that are big for them to handle alone.
So try and enlist the services of a counselor when there is need for that.

 
Rounding up:
Everyone’s dream is to enjoy his or her marriage and I am sure you want that too. However, merely desiring a thing can never get the thing done, you have to take the steps and gradually get it done.
All I have listed in this article will help even a dead marriage to come back to life again. I implore that you take them I at a time. Just have in mind that it may take some time before the result will be noticed, but I am sure it will work for you.

Read Also

Some problems you are likely to have in your marriage.

 

 

How to effortlessly locate a good marriage and family counselor;

marriage therapist, marriage counselor, have a happy marriage

Have you ever asked yourself how you could locate a good marriage and family counselor to help you get your marriage back again? Did you just realize that things are no more the way they use to be; and that those moments of love, joy and peace has been replaced with chaos, quarrels, disagreements and even fight?
If you answered yes to those questions, then you have taken your first step of bringing your marriage to normalcy again.
However, all marriage counselors are not created equal. While some are very well trained in the work, other are not so experienced and can do more harm than good to your marriage.
How would you feel when you realized you are going farther apart from your partner instead of getting closer which is the very reason you visited the counselor in the first place.
In this article, you will learn how to locate a good marriage counselor without breaking a sweat, someone who know his job well and who will not use your challenging marriage as a learning sample.
Just keep reading! : )
Who is a good marriage therapist?
This is someone who combines his or her education with knowledge in marital therapy.
Their main interest is to help couple work through those challenging moments in their marriage, which includes stress, crisis; they also help people express their needs appropriately, establish good boundaries and also make compromises.
They should have genuine credentials like license and other necessary certificates which should be acceptable by your local government or any other authority.
However, the credentials or the license is not a guarantee that he or she is the best counselor that is fit for your problems.
A recent survey shows that eighty one (61%) of all the private marriage counselors can offer a good marital counseling, the remaining 39% deals with other clinical works that are related to marital therapy.
This is why there is a need to identify a good counselor that will be more effective in what you want to achieve.
To get the best from your prospective family therapist, you should try and have one or two interview sessions, where you can get to know him or her better; you should also be able to ask some questions to get some insights on how this marriage therapist can best work for your particular issues.
According to John Guttman, marriage counseling session has four session of evaluation such as
– Session 1 – Now you are here: This is your very first visit to the therapist and you have an opportunity to describe the reasons you are seeking the services of a counselor. You will also have the chance to tell your prospective therapist about the history of your marriage or relationship, how you knew each other, as well as how you have been dealing with your conflicts.
After this initial counseling session, you will then receive a questionnaire to fill out, which will help the therapist to understand more about the situation at hand better.
Just take some time and go through the questionnaire, before filling it out.
And try as much as you can to;
(1) Be very open:

It is absolutely true you are dealing with someone trained to help you go through your marital problem, but remember also that he is not a mind reader; He will be more effective when you are open to him.
(2) Be prepared:

You know exactly why you want to see the counselor, so be prepared to go through the process. Remember the outcome of it all depends on you, so get a note pad and write down those reasons you are seeking to find a counselor, and read them out to yourself often. This will help you to be sure of what you want.
(2) Ask questions:

During these sessions, you are expected to ask some pressing question to him or her. Though it may look a little bit rude to start asking questions, but remember you are simply looking to find not just a counselor, but someone who is keen in helping your marriage.
So you will need to ask some important question and get the best ideas of what they are planning to do to help you.
Here are few quick questions to ask. : )
– How do you plan to help us in this issue?
– Have you worked with other couples of our situation, background or age before?
– From all that we have told you, what will be your next move?
Obviously, asking these questions will help you understand if the counselor is a good one to work with or if he has a bias mind rather than seeing you work out of your marital challenges.

 

A well trained therapist must be straight forward and should not take side with any one.
It is more advisable to have interview with more than one marriage therapist if possible, so you can make a good choice. Even when you have made a choice, you also have the power to make a change if you are not convinced with your first choice.
– Session 2 & 3 Individual counseling: Just as the name implies, the individual partner will have individual time to share your feelings concerning your relationship. The counselor will also ask some other specific questions.

 

– Session 4 Discoveries and feed backs: In this session, both of you will visit the therapist once again to receive the results from the evaluations carried out by the counselor based on your private meeting with him or her as well as the questionnaires you filled out.

 

 

Then you should receive the results that will clearly show you about your strengths and weakness as couples; from there you will know the next step and plans before your other sessions.
– Session 5 and more: From this moment on, it is counseling proper. A lot will be discussed at this point. So get your selves ready for the re-connection.
Finding a good marriage counselor that can best help you deal with the issues in your marriage may not be that easy as you may think; you will have to do some little works and research to find one.
One good way to start is to think of your friends, relatives or family members who have used the services of a counselor before and ask for a recommendation from them.
Although this step may be embarrassing and perhaps bring up some issues you may not likely want to bring out in the public, I still think getting a recommendation from those of them who have pass through the road before you could be a very good start for you.
And remember you must always look for the well-educated, experienced and well qualified counselor if you really want your marital issued dealt with in a more effective way.
Quick tips
Finding one locally: Finding a good counselor closer to you could be a good decision to make, because it will be convenient for you to visit him or her at any time, unlike that which is miles away, this is because you will have to schedule several interview sessions before the time, and it may not be proper if you missed one of the sessions because of the distance.
Once you have fully made up your mind on which way to go, the next step should be for you to set up an initial interview sessions where you will have more time to have a brief discussion with the marriage counselor which should be able to disclose to you about him /herself, and also how he planned to help you solve your marital issues.
Just make sure that whoever you are planning to work with should be able to value your opinion as the same.
One question I always get form couples who are planning to through a marriage therapist is this;
How much would marriage counseling cost?
Couples are usually afraid of the cost of working with a counselor, without considering the joy that will come back to the relationship after the sessions.
A good and successful counseling should not be quantified with any amount of money if your relationship is truly important to you, it is a step you are taking to nurture what matters most to you so tell me what is better than spending you whole money and get your happiness back.
However, when you compare the cost of going through a divorce, you will understand that enlisting the services of a good therapist is so much better.
So those couples who resolve to go through divorce instead of taking the steps to rebuild their relation because they believed it is costly to seek a counselor will often spend more to end it.
It is not just about the money that is involved, but about the value that returns to your relationship.
Rounding up:
You can be rest assured to get your marriage back on its feet again if you plan properly before looking for a therapist. There are no issues or circumstances in a marriage that cannot be saved; you should decide to go through it knowing that troubles are just another step to grow together as a family.
More so, taking a decision to see a marriage counselor or therapist will help you to get your marriage to normalcy. Just start the process today, and it will overwhelm you what results you will get.
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The truth about being more committed to your marriage

successful marriage, happiness in marriageOne thing couples neglects, that could turn their marriage around is getting committed to working on the marriage until it becomes strong again. They believed love is all they need.

 

Of course there is no doubt about that; love is important; but love alone cannot do the magic. Love can make couples have confidence with each other, but cannot make couple trust each other

 

I have always believed love is the greatest myself, I believed that love can conquer everything; I thought that just sharing your feelings is all one need to make your relationship stronger. How dumb I was!.

 

The truth is this: you love your partner so much, you buy gifts for him/her, you load his or her bank account with good money, but you have not made plans to make sacrifices for your marriage, then you have not started.

 

Let me tell you a little about love.

 

Love is good; but no matter how sweet it is, it is just one out of the many recipes needed for a marriage to succeed.

 

People attach much importance about the feelings of love, not knowing that it can change at any moment. There is a very thin line between love and hate.

 

If you think love is more important, then tell me how we can balance this news on the television, newspaper, radio stations, and magazine about divorce.

 

Those two partners that are doing everything now to divorce where once in love, they lived together for years and now they think they are not meant for each other.

 

Love works better when it is mixed with commitment. (Tweet This)

 

When a relationship is strong, it is not about what we feel emotionally that made it so, it is how committed we are to do the things that will make it work.

 

But what is this thing called commitment, and what impact does it have in our marriage?

 

What is Commitment in marriage?

From my own view, commitment is that point in a marriage where everyone feels secured with each other.

 

The ULCA campus psychologist after analyzing 175 married couples in their first 11 years of being married describes commitment as when couples are willing to make some sacrifices in other to make their relationship strong.

 

It is very easy to say you are committed to your marriage especially when things are going well. But what happened when things starts changing? Can you still stand your ground to say “I must do something to resolve this, what steps should I take to make my marriage stand again?

 

When partners are willing to make sacrifices for their marriage, then one part of dealing with conflict are taken care of and they are more likely to have a stronger and lasting marriage.

 

Whenever there is a heated moments in a happy marriage, the happy couples instead of looking for who wins the argument, immediately decides to settle the differences and move on with their relationship.

 

This is because they value their marriage more than anything else.

 

Absence of commitment in a marriage is the number one reason for breaks and divorce. (Tweet This)

 

You can easily know a marriage that lacks commitment when one of the partners or even both takes the other for granted.

 

Once that starts, all the feeling of oneness and emotional intimacy starts disappearing, excuses and complaints begins.

 

That is when you will hear your partner saying that

 

  • The whole works of the family is only on you: When relationship was young, you do so many things with ease and happiness because you love your spouse and never want to offend him or her.

 

Now you have learn how to complain because you felt the load is on you. A more committed partner should do things because the marriage must move forward and keep complaining aside.

 

  • That your schedule is so tight: You could not wait to be around your spouse, because you cherish every moment. Now you prefer to spend more time on work because you think when you come home early you will start the house chores.

 

  • No time to discuss, because I have some office works to do: Many couples quarrel whenever they want to discuss about the family; because of that everybody want avoid quarrel by keeping distance from each other.

 

When communication stops, more troubles start.

 

  • The dishes are there waiting for me: To many complain in a relationship causes stress; and lack of commitment brings complaining in a marriage.

 

  • I have to finish all am doing first before getting the fruits from the fruit store.

It is always very easy to produce excuses, but you must understand that giving excuses can be the best reason you have for not been seeing your spouse as that special person you knew before.

 

If you want your marriage to stand firm during difficult times, and thrive better when things are good, then you must build a lasting relationship with your spouse through devotions and commitments.

 

But how can you developing this attitude? How can you be committed and also encourage your spouse to do the same too?

 

Here are check list to guide you.

                             How to be committed to your marriage

happy marriage, committed marriage,happy couples

  • Make your marriage your number one priority:

It is important to value your marriage more, and make it occupy the first position in your heart. If your marriage is important to you, you will devote all your time to making it work.

 

The bible said “for where the treasure of a man is, there his heart will also be; Mathew 6: 21, and the bible also says “any man who honors his wife, will also be honored by God.

 

Where did you place your marriage? How important is it to you?

 

Look back to the past day, weeks and months and think about how much time you devoted to your partner. What can you say you have done over the past days that can give your spouse the confidence to trust you more as a partner? If you are not sure how to start, then follow these steps. : )

 

  • Let other thing go and hold fast to your marriage: Many times we tend to forget so many things we want to do, even our marriage could sometimes be neglected, and however, you can stand your ground and be sure your marriage is not among the list.

 

The easiest way to do this is to plan from the very beginning that your marriage will be hold to great esteem.

 

I always suggest you writing down those things in a paper just like you are writing your companies mission statement; but this one is called marriage statement.

 

  • Be very strict with bedtimes: if you are home with your partner in the evening, then being very strict with going to bed at the same time, will create a good time for you to have a quality time together, and quality time with your spouse builds intimacy.

 

Couples use those times to plan about their marriage, discuss about what to do more and what to give up so the marriage will prosper more.

happy marriage, commitment in marriage

 

  • Be connected even when you are not together: Thanks to technology; you have no reason to give why you should not reach your partner when he or she is not with you. Send love massages to your spouse.

Call home often to know how everyone is fairing.

 

  • Stay firm to your words: Take a bold step and tell your spouse how you are committed to your marriage and how you are ready to be that way for the rest of your life.

Saying this boldly to every member of your family; both the kids will bring courage and trust to them and will compel everyone to be careful of their actions too.

  • Create the type of marriage you want: The success or failure of your marriage depends on you and your spouse, and that mean you should do everything you have to make it work.

However, you should not continue waiting for your spouse to change, take proper steps to create the type of change you want by doing those things you have not been doing.

 

Spend more time with each other, talk nice with each other and have good sex. Start understanding your spouse once more.

 

  • Set healthy marital boundaries: We are surrounded by laws and rules and some of them are there to make us feel protected. It will be good if we set rules and boundaries that will protect our marriage/ relationships too.

These boundaries should be there to help us, strengthen us and keep us safe. One important thing about relationship / marriage is that both spouse can set boundaries together and one way to do that is to have a chit chat with your partner and talk about the things that should be taken out or restore in your marriage.

 

Try and write down those boundaries in a notebook; that will remind you when you are crossing your limits.

 

  • Make your partner your soul mate: If you want to enjoy more marital happiness, then you must make your spouse your best friend.

Friendship can be compared to a garden; it has to be cultivated and nurtured. It may not work immediately unless you are persistent enough to make it work.

 

Being your spouse’s friend will help to build intimacy between you and will make everyone to be more relaxed and secured in the relationship. You will only notice that your marriage is blossoming faster than you think.

 

If you really want to feel a deeper sense of joy and love in your marriage, you should try making your spouse your best friend and not like a husband/wife.

 

If you are not sure how to start, then these points will guide you.

 

  • Develop a special interest on your spouse once more: After some times in marriage, the love seems to wax cold; but you can renew the love and start seeing your spouse like the same person you fall in love with and also like the one you got married to.

Develop new interest in whatever concerns your partner. Remember, when you were newly married, all you want to know is those things that will make him/her feel happy, you were always there in whatever circumstances because you want to give those words of wisdom that will life your spouse up in the spirit.

 

Why not start it all over again? It will help you move forward as a couple.

 

  • Have your spouse’s back all the time: One of the things that makes a marriage successful is when couples do things as a team, when you are there to protect each other and stand your ground for each other.

Your spouse will always feel secured when he or she realize that you are always there. Whenever you see someone making some nasty comments again your spouse, just step in immediately and let your spouse know you are fighting for him or her.

  • Know and speak your spouse’s language: It is important you know what makes your spouse feel loved and start doing it. And if you don’t know feel free to ask.

Rounding Up:

 

As I am rounding up this article, I want you to understand that love is very important when you want your marriage to succeed, but if you want it your marriage to be stronger and happier, then you must get committed to doing only those things that will make is work.

 

So think about those things you have not been doing before and start doing it now and watch your marriage change. Think about those sacrifices you will make.

 

Most of all is to start immediately to put all you have learn in this article to work; the only thing that can stop you from enjoying more marital success is if you did not discipline yourself to put these to practice.

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