What you will do before you see a happy marriage councelor.

Do you really need a marriage counselor to make your marriage stand again? This is one of the frequent questions I get from my followers. My answer to them is always yes. If you have visited any website on relationship or marriage, the first thing they will advice you to do if your marriage is undergoing any challenge, is to see a counselor. But is it the first thing you should do?
Seeing a marriage counselor will cause a lot of changes to your marriage if you get yourself ready before going to see him. You really need a positive influence to get a positive result from your visit to a counselor or things will remain the way it was or even worse before you went.
These are the things you will try doing. Make up your mind that seeing a councilor will make a change. Then think about the things that could be the reason why your marriage is in that state in first place. Is it your fault? Is it your spouses fault? And then think about those things you where doing when your marriage was sweet and happy. Those moments of joy and happiness that you once had happened because of the things you where doing then, may be you stopped doing it all of a sudden.
You get your marriage back again by doing those thing that you are not doing and then if things did not still work out very fast, then you could go and see a marriage counselor.

Five important Secrets to a Happy Marriage

happy marriage, secretsto a happy marriage,Love is certainly a wonderful thing, but having your marriage work properly is another matter. This is because while love is the foundation of a successful marriage, the house that is your relationship can be battered down by a number of issues. While love is vital, it is not the secret to a happy marriage.
This is because love in and of itself provides no structure, no training for how to work with your partner in the day to day relationship that is marriage.

Successful marriages are based in listening to your spouse, trusting them to do what is right and keeping the proper perspective.
What follows are five powerful secrets to a happy marriage. All of the advice are from the couples who have enjoyed long, successful marriages in which they overcome the rough patches with tried and true techniques.
Mind Your Manners
It’s funny how we often we show more respect to a stranger than we do to our spouse. As parents, we demand that our children learn proper manners, but those in unsuccessful marriages often do not use them with each other.

To be respectful to each other starts with the little things such as saying please when passing the salt rather than just demanding the salt.
Discuss Tense Subjects when You Are Ready
In every marriage there are going to be issues that will arise which may require serious discussion. Such discussions should not take place if you are tired or hungry. Set aside a time where you can discuss such matters, when both of you are ready. This is a powerful secret to a happy marriage.
Keep Money in its Place
The subject of money has been and always will be the single greatest form of stress on a marriage. The lack of having enough money to do what is needed puts an untold hardship on the marriage, so it is vitally important that such stresses be kept in their proper perspective.

There have been many happy couples who have overcome tremendous financial hardship and so can you and your spouse.
Treat Your Spouse like the Honored Guest in the House
Similar to minding your manners, treating your spouse like the most honored guest means that you listen to what they have to say and show a little deference before acting upon your emotions.

Naturally, this only works if both spouse are on the same page, but it’s amazing just how many potential problems or misunderstandings can be avoided when treating your spouse as an honored guest.
Make a Date Night
Create a night once a month where you can spend a few hours with each other and without the children present. You don’t have to go out, but you should spend some time alone enjoying a favorite activity, such as playing games with your friends for example.

If you are taking care of an infant, then it’s okay to bring them along. Remember however that this is a night for the both of you to enjoy as adults.
By employing each of these five techniques, you can help bring more happiness to your marriage. It takes a little practice and patience, but the ultimate secret to a happy marriage is the effort you put in towards each to make your relationship work.

Read also

First step to a happy marriage

The role of a woman in building a happy marriage (What a woman must know about building a happy marriage)

Often times when it looks as if the once know happy marriage is becoming unhappy or dim, women begins to blame their husband for pulling back and distance form them. Though it may not be that the love has died, it may be a momentary emotional withdrawal but the blame is not supposed to be for the men only, women are supposed to share on the blame.
Every happy and successful marriage is built on the commitment of couples. Of course if the happiness depends on the commitment of husband and wife, then the blame will also be share among the two also. But there is a unique role that women are supposed to play to make the plan work.
I was opportune to discuss with some couple that were having challenges in their marriages; most of the facts I gathered showed that there are certain attitude the women exhibits that is capable of making a man to start withdrawing from her. This is why a woman should know the roles she will play to bring her husband back and close again.
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All I listed bellow are the things a good wife will do inculcate to bring the joy again.
See your husband as a friend: – The reason why some marriages fail is when a wife starts seeing the spouse as a husband instead of a friend. Seeing your spouse as a friend, will make you know him better, know his like’s and dislikes because you will always love to stay close to him, and one of the recipes of a good marriage is emotional intimacy. When you see him as a husband, what you will have in mind is that he is different from you and there may be a gap between the two of you.
Don’t try to change him:- Never think of changing your husband, it may not work for you. Change will only come if you could only get down on your kneels and pray. However, if you think you can do it on your own, them you will expect to have serious withdrawal from him.
Tell him about your needs and want effectively:- Understand the best way to tell your husband about what you want. Do not always assume he knew about it. Do not chose quarrel as a way of getting what you want from him.
Take care of yourself:- Most women stops taking care of themselves once they are married. Every man wants his wife to look good and detest it when their wives are not looking after themselves. Try and be yourself.
Never discuss your marriage outside: – Learn never to discuss your marriage or your husband or even the challenges in your marriage with any body outside. It is better everything is settled in the house by you and your husband. Sharing your marriage problem outside could mar your marriage. Admit it when you are wrong and also be the first to say “I am sorry”.
If these things be in place, then you are on your way to a strong happy and lasting marriage. Congratulations!