Do you want to have a happy married life? Do you want your marriage work the same or better than those two couples living close to you? It’s hundred percent possible; if those couple could be happy in their marriage, then you can as well have the same happiness in your marriage.
Marriage doesn’t require you to become a rocket scientist to make it work.
All you need is to know your intentions, give your attention to it, and with lots of daily nourishment and nurturing then you will be very surprised at the type of bond you’ll build in your relationship.
It’ as simple as that:= }]
Why then is the number of divorce increasing daily if marriage is that simple?
you may ask!
Reason is because many couples give more attention to their jobs, businesses and other things outside than their relationship.
However, if you utmost desire is to be happily married, then, there are few interesting things you could do to achieve that, and in this post, I will share then with you.
1) Pledge your commitment: – Marriages succeed when both couples are committed to it and to making it work. A great level of commitment is needed not from you alone, but from you and your partner, for a happy marriage.
This is when you pledged to do everything essential and important for your relationship to be successful.
Obviously you know things are not going the ways it should, and you are not getting your ways either, but you are willing to sacrifice for both of you, just to see that things work out well.
2) Reject infidelity:- Infidelity does to marriage exactly what fuel does to fire. If you have at one time been cheated upon, you’ll understand what am talking about, it can leave you confused, angry and upset all the time.
Sturdy shows that cheating can affect one’s behavior as well as his trusting abilities.
When trust is truncated in relationship, every other thing collapse with it.
Again, never accuse your partner of cheating if you are not sure of that.
Seeing a massage or knowing about his/her association with a close neighbor doesn’t mean he/ she is cheating.
Distrust kills a relationship more than anything else. Even when you have seen signs of infidelity, never accuse your partner until you bring it to table.
3) Choose to enjoy each other:– Everything in this life is a choice; sadness is a choice as well as joy.
You can decide that whatever happens, that you will and always make your partner happy.
Look for those little things that brings joy to him and do it on a daily bases.
Remember, your marriage is not so much about you, but about your partner.
4) Have respect for your partners weakness and important points:- Understand when he/she is not ready to play and steer clear.
Everyone sometimes needs time to be alone.
Also do not make jest of him/her with his /her weaknesses, don’t use it for jokes.
She may not be happy when you are making jest with what she told you in the secret about his or her family.
If she can’t stand you making jokes with her attempts to get back to size 12 failed, then never do that at all.
It good to laugh away matters as couples, but know when you cross the boundary.
5) Keep your relationship in the present:- If you want your marriage successful then you have to avoid keeping track of the past and forgone issues or mistakes.
Think of the future always.
I know it is always hard to do, but if what you want is your partners happiness and for your relationship to succeed, then you’ve got to forget all the past and move forward.
6) Make your partner your priority:- Of course I don’t mean you should make your life completely revolving around your partner, but for getting married to each other, you have pledged to be his/her priority
Be sure to respect that decision by trying everything you should to be and do the best for your partners happiness.
7) Don’t betray your partners confidence:- If your partner tells you things in confidence, do not use it as a weapon against him/ her when there’s a little challenge or argument.
Remember, your partner trusted you by telling you about that, it is not a weapon.
8) Understand your partners body language:– Know when your spouse is happy or sad, weak or strong.
Just be sensitive to his/ her feelings.
If you sense that the mood is not good, hold his/her hand and ask what the matter is; probably all he/she needed at that point is just an attention.
Always show that you are there every time you are needed.
9) Have time for each other:– As the relationship grows in age, a lot of things will arise to keep you from having your time together.
But you must try everything not to let the alone time die, even if it means sacrificing your private time to have it, do that.
Even when your time is fully taken by your work or other activities, yet you can squeeze out even as little as 15 minutes to be alone with your better half.
10) Help out when needed:- Sometimes, your partner may come back tired and still have to make certain things ready.
But you can respite him/her from that by helping out, having in mind that he/she is as human as you are.
Make efforts to help out whether the help is requested from you or not, it will help your marriage succeed.
11) Give a little space to each other:- Everyone need time alone to think and meditate on certain things; make that space available to your partner.
In as much as time together is important, time apart is also required to make things work properly in a relationship.
However, you should not let communication cease as you are doing that as lack of communication kills any marriage.
Enjoy your private time, but remember to fill each other in as soon as you catch up.
You can relate with your partner if anything is bothering you, maybe he could be of good help.
12) Never sleep with that problem:- Fighting and quarreling doesn’t mean your marriage is not working.
It is obviously another important part of marriage.
The only thing that matters greatly is not the fight, but the inability to make up fast.
So now, nag as much as you can, fight as much as you can, but do jot let the sun go down without setting the disputes.
13) Have realistic expectation for your relationship:- It is good to love your partner so much, but remember you still have so many years to live together and so prepare your mind for some imperfections.
Don’t be swept off when you see those weaknesses.
Remember no one is perfect and that every marriage needs work, and so don’t expect miracles for your relationship to work, you have to make it work by yourself.
14) Say sorry often:- A lot of people finds it hard to admit their wrongs, And so many relationships are broken today because of the inability to say ” I am sorry”.
Survey conducted years back in San Francisco shows that the partners who say sorry often are the ones who succeeded in their marriage.
Learn to compromise sometimes just to make your relationship better.
15) Scan your marriage for Virus every time:- A lot of things are detrimental to any relationship.
Examples are – lies, keeping bad friends, staying out late in the night, alcoholism, nagging, yelling and so many other things.
The best way to enjoy more married life is to keep it from being infected by those viruses.
Scan your marriage on the daily bases and make sure those viruses are removed.
15) Complement and do not criticize:- If you are in the criticizing game, you may be harming your marriage.
I didn’t say you shouldn’t complain when you are upset, but know when you are criticizing instead of complaining.
When you criticize you are attacking whole person, but complaining is disapproval of certain actions.
Some people feels that are helping to improve the other by criticizing him/ her, but it can only kill instead of helping him.
To help your partner do better, compliment more than complaining or criticizing him/her.
Finally, the best approaches to having a happy married life is to do whatever you know that will make your relationship better everyday.
Never complain if it looks as if your partners is not helping matter.
Your relationship can be successful because you are very committed to make it work.
I hope this post will be a good help to you, and if it is, please share with your family and friends.
I am still your friend, Ikenna ( murphyaik)
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