One day, I overheard a woman asking her husband for just 15 to 20 minutes to share something important; and that opened my eyes.
And I thought, if 15- 20 minutes is enough for the woman to be happy and to share her mind, that means couples can also use 15-20 minutes to breathe new life into their marriage.
Trust me; I know that you are very busy person. The activities of the days like taking the children to school, house chores, job, getting the groceries have swept all the time, and not even a second is left for you and your partner to share.
But, let me let you in the big secret why marriages fail, so you can strive to create an edge for your marriage, right from this moment.
Couples time is imperative
Research conducted by the Creighton Center for Marriage and Family says
“Time is one out of the problematic issues from married couples especially in their first five years of marriage”.
There are one thousand four hundred and forty minutes (1440) in a day; if you sleep from six to eight (6-8) hours in a day, then you have good 1000 minutes which you are awake.
How much minutes can you reserve out of those times you are awake just for you and your spouse to spend together?
You see, having time to spend with your partner can only be liken to saving something precious for the raining day, and just 15 minutes daily will set the ball rolling.
Not spending enough time makes you and your partner to grow distant emotionally and distance brings the unavoidable death of intimacy and passion. So the beginning of happiness in marriage lies in those little times spent together.
So create the time
Like I said initially, there are multitudes of distractions every day that will swallow your time, but, you must create the 15 minutes if you want your marriage to succeed; that is just one percent (1%) of the day. Could it be hard for you to share with the love of your life?
If you said “No”, then
Reduce your time on television: This may sound simple, but when you think of how many hours you watch television, it will dawn on you that your marriage will be very much better if you could spend just little of that time with your spouse.
By reducing your time on TV, you will have more time to nurture the three main important things in marriage which are sex, sleep and conversation.
Forget checking your mails:-Technology is good, but if the use is not properly checked it can take up all the time we have.
You may want to check your mail for just 10 minutes, and find out that you have spent close to 1 hour reading the mail. Think of what that time can do to your marriage.
Do your chores on time: If you have some house chores to do, it’ll be better if you do it on time so you will have free time to be with your partner.
Cuddle the kids to sleep:-As long as the kids are awake, your attention will be divided; but when they are sleeping you and your partner will have time. So cuddle them to sleep on time.
Forget checking your friend newest update on social media:-There is nothing as sweet as visiting the social media like Facebook, twitter and others to look at your friend’s latest updates.
But the joy is at the expense of your couple’s time. So which will you choose, building your marriage or checking your friend update?
Understand that it is all about you, your partner and your marriage: Couples time is the time to nurture your marriage. So never play with it.
The 15 minutes with your spouse spent well.
One thing to note is that marriage is not just about finding happiness, but all about finding ways you and your partner can develop into a better human being.
Sharing 15 minutes daily with the one you love is one of the smartest moves you can take in other to sustain your relationship.
Scientific research describes it as a “positive moments that matters in keeping a relationship satisfied”.
But, the truth is that if you don’t guard the time well, you will soon realize that it is a wasted effort.
To help you make the time what while, here is what you should do.
- Concentrate on the friendship aspect of your marriage: Devote more time on developing the friendship aspect your relationship. Talk about the things that are not working well and find a way to work it out.
When you are conversing, make sure you are looking straight at each others eyes. That will show how interested in what your spouse saying.
Play games and have fun. Just keep talking without agenda and try to give your wife more time to talk, and keep listening.
- Re-affirm your intentions.
Before you both got married, you had plans. You didn’t marry because you wanted to marry. You have dreams to have a happy marriage, good relationship with your spouse, have and raise good children and maybe to build your relationship in such a way that people will learn from you.
Understanding your intentions in marriage is what helped Kelvin A. Thomson and wife save their marriage and it will help you too.
Think about it and plan how to make your dreams come true. You can write a plan on how to go like I did below.
- What are the things you need to do to achieve your aims
- Are there some characters you need to eject or introduce into your marriage?
- What are the roadblocks you may encounter along the way?
- Are there skills you have to learn?
Writing theses down will help you know which steps to take to get to your destination.
- Try dating yourselves again.
Consider having some romantic dates. You can schedule to go outside for the date or have it there in the house. You don’t need to let the date break your pocket.
Prepare some interesting lunch or dinner dishes, with some bottles of drinks.
But, if you choose to go out, then look for a beautiful and interesting place where you can relax with the love of your life.
Remember, it is all about bringing you and your partner closer to each other ones again as well as helping you appreciate each other.
You are responsible for whatever happens to your marriage. If you want it to succeed, then you should start putting more effort to making it work.
Spending time together will help make your relationship succeed, so get to work at once and see what will happen in a little while.
Over to you now: What other ways have you used to make your relationship better than it was before? Feel free to share with us in the comment section.
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